Part 5-Sexual Harassment: Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skilled Trades Industries

Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries

A Five-Part Series

Brought to you by Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications*

Content/Trigger Warning:
This series will address issues that may be traumatic for some readers – Contains graphic language and references toverbal abuse, misogyny, homophobia, violence & sexual assault.

Comedian George Carlin said, “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

That’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes, isn’t it? Compare a male and female of any other species on the planet… Sure, there are some biological differences – like a male dog humping everything in sight – but when the doorbell rings, a dog barks at the door, regardless of its genitals.

People, though… Well, we’re different from other species. Men and women respond differently to their environments (have you ever watched a sappy movie with your partner?), and they also have some different needs. But folks of both genders have a lot of similarities as well: They want to be liked, accepted and respected.

Here’s why you give a damn: Women held just 23.6% of jobs in the motor vehicles and motor vehicles equipment manufacturing industry in 2019 (source). Even more damning? Only 1% of positions for collision repair technicians and 1.4% of automotive service technician positions were filled by women.

And it’s not because women can’t do the job – I mean, seriously, have you seen some of these badasses?!

An industry in desperate need of qualified technicians and other personnel cannot afford to alienate half the population right out of the gate!

To celebrate Women’s History Month, we’re giving you some insights into the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries. We hope you’ll stick around for the ride – learn a little, laugh a little and hopefully find something that resonates!

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers 🥂 to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them at the bottom of this post .

And hey ladies – although this is addressed to the men for simplicity’s sake, this isn’t merely a “men” problem. There’s a lot of girl-on-girl crime going on in this industry (you get extra cool points if you get the reference)… as women, we can all do a better job of supporting one another. “Just laugh it off” only ensures that our daughters and even granddaughters are still dealing with the same bullshit – and they don’t have our sense of humor! They’re already fed up; they were BORN fed up.

In honor of Women’s History Month, Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications are partnering each Wednesday in March to bring you the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Labor Trades Industries.

This series features many voices, not just ours. Women in the automotive industry have graciously shared their stories**, and we’ve done our best to bring as much information and resources together as possible. We want to dive into those real, raw, taboo topics – the subjects that make you shush your friends if they speak too loudly in public – and we’ll share them through text, audio and imagery because people are diverse and everyone digests information differently – and that’s okay!

We’ll share our thoughts, too, because we want you to understand: This isn’t just a “them” problem, an “over there” problem – it’s a problem impacting you, impacting ALL of us, a problem that’s taking place RIGHT HERE, everywhere, and if we don’t break out of our comfort zones and start talking about these not-so-sexy secrets, nothing will ever change.

But more importantly, we’ll add our voices to the many women who’ve shared their stories because we owe them that. We owe them the added strength of our voices – we are stronger together, and unless we begin to address this as an industry and as a society, our daughters will be sharing these same stories 20 years down the road. We welcome you to this journey and are so excited you’ve decided to join us – women and other minorities need the support of strong allies and industry leadership to solve these problems.

Other industries have made significant strides when it comes to tackling similar concerns, proving that improvement IS possible. We believe it’s past time for the automotive and skilled labor trades industries to have this conversation.

Now, buckle up for a whirlwind of misplaced gender roles, disturbing tales from the frontlines, and a good hearty helping of brutal honesty. But before we dive in, a quick note to the gents and the ladies…

Men: We understand that you’re probably a little reluctant to confront this, and it’s awesome that you’re still with us – we promise we aren’t here to attack you. Now, we may challenge some ideas that that have been instilled in you and offer suggestions you haven’t considered, but it’s coming from a place of love and faith that you’re open, that you’re ready to have this conversation, that you’re prepared to participate in making this world a better place for all people. We know you have only the best intentions, but who hasn’t unintentionally offended someone? Let’s talk about some things you may not have thought of before and how these “women’s rights” issues impact you, too!

Women: For those of you who have faced gender discrimination or any of discrimination’s other ugly faces, we are here with you. We hear you. We see you. We believe you. To the rest of you, we know that not every woman feels oppressed – and we’re glad if you’re among that demographic. Keep on rocking! But a diamond doesn’t shine any less brightly because it’s surrounded by other diamonds… Help one another. Mentor each other. Let’s support ALL the badass women in the automotive and skilled labor trades industries!

Sexual Harassment: No Means No – And Shouldn’t Have to Be Said in the Workplace in the First Fucking Place!

Part 5 of 5

Honey, I’ll be home a couple hours late, dinner with the boss, think I’m getting the promotion!” Rick whispered into the phone before wrapping up his workday and logging off his computer. Corporate America ain’t so bad when you have an awesome boss like Mary, he thought.

At dinner, Mary hinted that Rick would be “moving into that corner office soon” before ordering a bottle of champagne and excusing herself for a moment. Upon her return, she inched so close to Rick that their thighs touched, and clinking their glasses gently, she seductively whispered, “I’ll officially announce your promotion as soon as you give ME what I’VE been wanting.”

Wide-eyed, Rick jumped back and out of the booth as Mary hissed, “You’re fired!” What the hell was he going to tell his wife? She’d think he was asking for it since he let Mary buy him that drink!

Let’s talk about SEX!! OK, not really. We’re talking about sex’s ugly cousins: sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape. Alright, guys and gals… here we go!

“No’ is a complete sentence.”

I know, I know, I keep throwing these ugly words at y’all, so let’s define a couple of them.

Sexual Harassment (noun): uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature especially by a person in authority toward a subordinate (such as an employee or student)

Sexual Assault (noun): illegal sexual contact that usually involves force upon a person without consent or is inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent (as because of age or physical or mental incapacity) or who places the assailant (such as a doctor) in a position of trust or authority

The EEOC further clarifies its view of Sexual Harassment: “Harassment can include ‘sexual harassment’ or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature[…] Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex[…] The harasser can be the victim’s supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer.”

Confession: This topic is extremely sensitive for me. I’m presently terrified to write the fifth installment of Dirty Little Secrets. Building to this, I’ve looked forward to it, I’ve dreaded it… I’ve even considered fleeing the country so I wouldn’t have to face Jayme after being a craven coward. So, it’s going to be hard for me not to be an ANGRY BITCH during this conversation, but please understand that my anger isn’t towards YOU (I mean, unless you’re this type of douchebag, in which case, you can eat a whole bag of dicks); I’m angry at the system that allows these horrific experiences to take place.

Why is it such a touchy subject? It’s touchy because it’s so widespread. You see numbers, you see statistics. I see a friend, a co-worker, an acquaintance, a stranger, a loved one – telling me their story. And when I say “see,” I actually mean “recall.” Starting from the time I was 13, I remember all the friends who’ve shared similar stories (almost every female friend I’ve ever had). Family members who cried in shame decades later at a horrible memory. Children. So, I’m angry. I’ve had enough. Haven’t you?

In a 2017 survey conducted by “Automotive News” and Deloitte, 65% of respondents confirmed that they had been subjected to “unwanted sexual advances” during their career in the automotive industry. Compare this to a 2017 survey in which 28% of women working in male-dominated industries personally experienced sexual harassment, a number that drops to 20% in female-dominated industries (source). A report filed in 2016 by the EEOC’s Select Task Force on the Study of Harassment in the Workplace estimated that as many as 85% of women in the United States have experienced sexual harassment in the workplace. A poll conducted by the NBC found that 48% of women had been subjected to sexual harassment (source).

EEOC’s Task Force also wrote: “Workplace Harassment Too Often Goes Unreported. Common workplace-based responses by those who experience sex-based harassment are to avoid the harasser, deny or downplay the gravity of the situation, or attempt to ignore, forget, or endure the behavior. The least common response to harassment is to take some formal action – either to report the harassment internally or file a formal legal complaint. Roughly three out of four individuals who experienced harassment never even talked to a supervisor, manager, or union representative about the harassing conduct. Employees who experience harassment fail to report the harassing behavior or to file a complaint because they fear disbelief of their claim, inaction on their claim, blame, or social or professional retaliation.”

“WAIT A MINUTE, you’re telling me it’s underreported?! I knew it happened a lot, but not THAT much.” According to a 2018 poll, 81% of women experience some form of sexual harassment or assault during their life; however, citing Ipsos Mori’s Perils of Perception survey, this article states that men in the U.S. estimated that number to be 44%. (OK, but seriously guys, if you’re estimating it to be 44%, how do you NOT realize that’s a problem?! Grrrr!) We’ll talk more about why it’s underreported later, but you can probably guess by now! 😊

So, sexual harassment is obviously a huge problem. “A small survey of the California Bay Area in the early 2000s found that 100%of women had been the target of sexual remarks. Nineteen percent said it happened every day and nearly half said it was often. A YouGov poll from 2017 concluded that 60% of women in America have experienced sexual harassment. An additional 8% preferred not to respond (source).” And the terrifying statistics go on and on…

“OK, but sexual harassment happens in other industries too!” Yeah, we know. Yet it’s more prevalent in the automotive industry, an industry that cannot afford to lose qualified personnel.

blog published by Alexander, Morrison and Fehr noted, “The risk of sexual harassment is high in jobs across the auto industry, but you may face elevated risks if you work in a car dealership. While you run the risk of experiencing harassment by your colleagues, you also face risks when giving customers test drives. Such safety and harassment concerns likely play a role in why there is such high turnover among female automotive salespeople. In 2016, the turnover rate among women working in automotive sales was 96%.”

As you read these experiences, ask yourself – Does any person deserve to be treated like this (and why does anyone have the right to treat another human being this way)?!

“A customer said, ‘It makes my dick hard to watch you work on my truck.’ I replied, “That line doesn’t only not work on a real woman – you sound like a rapist. You don’t know me; do NOT talk to me like that. It’s disgusting. I bet you’re the guy sending dick pics nobody wants.” He got all offended, said he was just trying to give me a compliment. I refused to work until he left me alone. It takes a LOT to offend me, but OMG – that pissed me right off! I couldn’t go to my boss – he encouraged that behavior, hell, he participated in it! Offered me $50 if he could touch my ass. He would tell ladies that they’d die in a wreck unless they got a $400 brake job… but he’d offer discounts for a blowjob. That job was a shitshow, but it was a steppingstone and created my armor. They are very much out of business now.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
Ew, ew, ew. Dudes, seriously, we know you’re oh-so-proud of them, but unless we are sleeping with you (and in most cases, I mean actively sleeping with you – like in that exact moment), we really don’t give a flying fuck whether your dick is hard or not. And from a stranger? This is so super skeevy. And while we’re at it – do NOT send dick pics. Don’t do it. Definitely don’t send them to me. You’ll get one in return. And yours will go in the vault to send to the next guy. #sorrynotsorry #stopdickpics Okay, maybe you’re a decent guy with a misguided sense of humor. Or maybe you’re a predator. We’ll talk later about how you probably look just alike… Which means there’s not a warning sign, the Mark of Cain. And these situations scare us because we don’t know which type of man you are. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable and exhausting it is to feel like you can never let your guard down?!

Verbal sexual harassment is the most common form, impacting 77% of women and 34% of men, according to this report by “Stop Street Harassment.”

The 65% of surveyed women in automotive who reported being subjected to unwanted sexual advances also addressed where those advances came from, with some checking off multiple categories: colleagues 57.55%, clients 45.99%, superiors 39.32%. Over 55% reported receiving inappropriate comments on their attire or appearance from male colleagues, at least once. The majority did not report instances of sexual harassment because they didn’t think it would make a difference, they were afraid it would negatively impact their career, they were too embarrassed, or they simply wanted to forget it. Of those who filed a complaint, 56% were not satisfied; less than 6% were extremely satisfied (source).

Even scarier? Some women don’t even know how to identify sexual harassment because it’s everywhere – “It’s just some dude being skeevy,” women will say when a man brushes up against her ass on the street. It’s invasive, it’s illegal, it’s assault.

A “Cosmopolitan” survey initially states that one in three (1/3) women between the ages of 18 to 34 had been sexually harassed at work, yet their findings also note, “There are at least some women who don’t realize that the behavior they’re experiencing at work constitutes sexual harassment. 16% of women said ‘no’ when asked if they had been sexually harassed at work but said ‘yes’ to experiencing sexually explicit or sexist remarks.”

Cosmopolitan found that 81% of surveyed women had been harassed in verbal form, 25% had received lewd text or emails, and 44% encountered unwanted touches and sexual advances. With some women reporting on multiple instances of harassment, 75% were harassed my male co-workers, 49% by male clients/customers, 38% by male managers, and 10% by female co-workers. Only 29% reported the violation, and of those, 15% felt it was handled fairly (source).

As ridiculously high as those numbers are, it’s important to mention that a white cisgender woman is in less danger of sexual harassment and assault than other groups. We’ll talk more about LGBTQIA+ folks later, and though we haven’t really touched much on the intersection of sexism and racism in this series, we’d be remiss not to point out that minority races are more likely to experience sexual harassment and assault. Read more herehere or here .

Even when it IS recognized, why is it underreported? Well, as we’ve discussed with other issues related to sexism, few women (and men) are willing to report instances of sexism or even sexual harassment or assault because they’re afraid of the repercussions. Those who do report are often met with criticism, threats, retaliation, job loss.

Another concern: It’s rare that anything actually comes from these claims. According to this article, “75% of people who experience sexual harassment do not report it […] Of the cases that were settled [in 2015], the EEOC dismissed 52% since it had ‘no reasonable cause to believe that discrimination occurred’. A further 25% had a result for the claimant that was deemed positive. These ‘favorable’ outcomes include negotiated settlements, withdrawals of claims but with benefits, successful conciliations and unsuccessful conciliations (the last category means ‘reasonable cause’ was established but there was no conciliation). The remaining 23% of sexual harassment legal claims were simply closed for administrative reasons.”

Really makes ya want to put yourself out there, doesn’t it? As this article notes, “Even as women participate more in the automotive world (the numbers show that more women than men hold driver’s licenses and that more than 80 percent of car-buying decisions are made by women), the one thing they can’t buy is respect.”

“The constant rumors of sleeping around – and of course sleeping with supervisors to get job statements. My supervisor once told me, “The only way to keep your job is to go spread your legs like a good girl.” I spread my legs for no one! I went to HR, and they moved him to a different shop.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
If you want to see “spread legs,” stop by my kickboxing class some night and spout that horseshit at the chicks who whoop my ass weekly! Let us demonstrate a roundkick to your stupid face. And excuse me, they moved him to a different shop… that doesn’t have women? How about educating him and breaking the cycle of sexism going on here?

We’ve already pointed out that most sexual harassment goes unreported because people are afraid of retaliation. According to this article, “The folks who handled nearly 7,000 sexual harassment complaints last year estimate that 3 out of 4 harassment victims never report it.”

report by the EEOC stated, “gender-harassing conduct was almost never reported; unwanted physical touching was formally reported only 8% of the time; and sexually coercive behavior was reported by only 30% of the women who experienced it. In terms of filing a formal complaint, the percentages tend to be quite low. Studies have found that 6% to 13% of individuals who experience harassment file a formal complaint. That means that, on average, anywhere from 87% to 94% of individuals did not file a formal complaint.”

The same report cited a 2003 study that found “75% of employees who spoke out against workplace mistreatment faced some form of retaliation” [Lilia M. Cortina & Vicki J. Magley, Raising Voice, Risking Retaliation: Events Following Interpersonal Mistreatment in the Workplace, 8:4 J. Occupational Health Psychol. 247, 255 (2003)].

An article in “Psychology Today” identifies three categories of sexual harassment behavior: “Gender harassment refers to verbal and nonverbal behaviors that convey insulting, hostile, and degrading attitudes toward women such as questioning women’s competence for a particular job, displaying pornography, calling women ‘bitches,’ and making obscene gestures. Unwanted sexual attention includes suggestive comments about a woman’s body as well as unsolicited and unreciprocated sexual advances. Most of the reported harassment at Fox falls into this category. Last, sexual coercion refers to requiring sex as a condition of employment or job rewards.”

(Now, if that last category has you thinking, “Of course women sleep their way to the top” – please tell your Misogyny to shut the fuck up.)

“All my situations happened in school. Besides rumors being spread that I was exchanging sexual favors for grades, there was one time that lewd comments were made while I was looking under a vehicle on a lift. When I spoke up, I was chastised for ‘making it easy by opening myself up to the comments.’ By doing what… my job? Paying attention? Trying to learn?”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
If she was opening herself up to comments, why weren’t those same comments fired at the other guys in class while they were attempting to learn the same trade (and we all know they weren’t, so don’t even try it). Let’s talk about how she “opened herself up to comments,” really. She was born without a penis. That’s how. Because those lewd comments start when we’re little girls. Ask the women you know about how young they were when a man (not a boy, but an adult man) said or did something that let them know they were considered “sexual beings.” I was lucky – I think I was 8 or 9. When I was 14, a 35-year-old man hit on me, and when I told him how old I was, he responded, “Age ain’t nothing but a number.” Yeah, that number is 5 to 10 years, pedophile (though that’s unlikely, but I didn’t realize then how few sex crimes result in convictions). And if that was unclear, a 14-15-16-17-year girl is NOT a woman; I don’t care how big her tits are. She’s a child; stop sexualizing her.

So, when a man performs a job function, he’s doing his job. When a woman does it, she’s asking for the D? Gotta love those double standards! This is the same mentality that assumes a woman who has “easy” friends is a whore herself, yet a man can hang with his abusive, sexist, racist and rapist friends because “he’s a good guy; his beliefs are none of my business.” Oh. 🖕 🖕 🖕

Seriously, though, these women don’t even get a chance to enter their field before they’re sexually harassed! Actually, one study found that it’s common for “women pursuing male-dominated university majors [to] experience higher levels of harassment than women earning other degrees” (source).

Young women are particularly at risk of sexual assault, as well. “Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. Women ages 18-24 who are college students are 3 times more likely than women in general to experience sexual violence. Females of the same age who are not enrolled in college are 4 times more likely” (source).

Want to hear something crazy? Most times, sexual harassment and assault isn’t even about sex; it’s about power! Studies suggest that it’s often a response to feeling that one’s position or social status has been threatened (source). Check out the correlation between fragile masculinity and sexual harassment here or here .

In this article, Emily Martin, general counsel and vice president for workplace justice at the National Women’s Law Center, said, “Part of what sexual harassment is is an expression of power and expression of hostility. When there aren’t women there to do the job, some men think women can’t do the job. When there are fewer women in the workplace, they are more isolated in general.”

Isolation has significant impacts on a person’s psyche. When women are isolated, they’re generally less comfortable to share their stories, especially stories of sexual harassment. There are a multitude of reasons for this, each unique to the individual woman. But there are a couple of recurring themes.

The first? Feeling vulnerable. Women do not see themselves as weak. Very few women actually feel like damsels in distress, and that’s definitely not the case when it comes to the badass ladies in the automotive and skilled labor trades industries. And being harassed, assaulted, raped – that makes a woman look (and feel) weak.

Next: “She was asking for it. Did you see what she was wearing?” Victim blaming is another factor preventing women from coming forward after being subjected to sexual harassment, sexual assault, and even rape.

According to this report, “The negative effects of sexual harassment are exacerbated by victim blame, which we focus on in the current research, and which relates to beliefs that women are sexually harassed, at least in part, because of their provocative behavior toward men. Considered a form of secondary victimization, being blamed for experiencing sexual harassment can help to explain why the job and health related outcomes for women who make a complaint are no better and can actually be worse than for those who do not report the abuse. A fear of being blamed also contributes to very low rates of reporting and to self-blame, which is a cause of additional psychological distress for women who are sexually harassed.”

The report goes on to point out that men are less likely to see behavior as sexual harassment unless it’s particularly extreme, leading to increased victim-blaming. But studies indicate it’s not because these men lack empathy – in fact, victim-blaming the woman for wearing that low-cut shirt (oh, no!) actually results from their empathy for the male perpetrator (source).

Poor baby-man got called out on his inappropriate actions – isn’t that scary?! Yet girls are taught from puberty (if not sooner!) to walk around with keys thread between their fingers like Wolverine so they can protect themselves from an attacker. Lock the door as soon as you get in the car. Always look around.

If you doubt the veracity of these lessons, check out this depressing article about what women would do if men disappeared for just 24 hours. A highlight: “’We are fully aware that not every single man is threatening,’ one woman wrote. ‘We are just stating that most of the time we avoid doing certain things we would like to do out of fear of being kidnapped, raped or harassed.’”
Sadly, men are more likely to believe a pretty young woman’s claims of sexual harassment (source). Guess that makes automotive ladies impossible to sexually harass since they can’t possibly be good with cars unless they’re super butch, right? Yet, neither of these assumptions are factual.

“My co-worker sexually harassed and assaulted me daily.
I’d worked there for a year before he was hired – I loved my job! But I only
made it four months working with him. It started benign enough, as a shop joke
about his “crush,” but it got worse, and even though I told him to stop, he
acted like it was a joke.

I dreaded going to work. My painting suffered, so I got
passed over for a painter position. I barely ate for months. The best part: his
guy had already been to prison TWICE for sexual assault!

His harassment ranged from detailed instructions on how my
husband could please me in bed – to talking about my “sexy little ass” while
trying to lift my shirt from behind. He’d whistle when I walked by. While I was
getting tools out of my toolbox, he would stand so close behind me that I would
have to bump into him. He’d follow me into the back rooms (where there were no
cameras) and corner me.

One day, in front of three other co-workers, he grabbed my
leg and nearly slid his hand up my shorts. When I jerked away from him, he did
it again! I jumped out of my seat, got in my car and left. None of my
co-workers even reacted! They all saw it – and just sat there! Afterwards, a
couple of them told the boss, who knew this guy was a problem and fired him…
only to immediately hire him back because “he said he was sorry and wouldn’t do
it again.”

The guys were pissed at him for th“ee whole days. By the
following’week, everyone”was buddy-buddy again. I felt ashamed, scared,
betrayed. And so angry! I didn’t stick around much longer after that – I
couldn’t work for a boss who would fire someone who sexually assaulted me and
then re-hired him out of pity. My co-workers claimed I was “just being
dramatic.” The worst part: this has affected how I interact with men – my
husband and our four sons shouldn’t have to deal with an anxious, traumatized
spouse/mother.

On a positive note: my current boss is awesome. I’d told him
about this situation, and a while ago, he met the guy who had been harassing
me, who asked my boss, “Are you fucking her?” and “Is she struggling at your
shop?” My boss responded, “No, she’s awesome and a great painter – she has no
problem keeping up with our two body men.’”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
I’m going to quote a (male) friend from high school: If it’s not yours, DON’T TOUCH IT! Period. That’s it. It’s not rocket science, fellas. (And yeah, he was talking to me. I make mistakes, too! 😳 ) You know what touching something of mine will get ya? JUNK PUNCH! And rather than go on the rant I feel this story deserves, I’m going to refocus you on the story. Read it again. Because if you can’t see the problem here – if you can’t acknowledge how this impacted her and her family – if you can’t FEEL her pain, then I can’t explain it to you.

Say it with me now: Sexual. Assault. That’s what this is. When he slaps her ass, grabs her breast, reaches up her skirt – that’s sexual assault. And it’s not okay. At all. It’s completely unacceptable, and we cannot continue tolerating it!

“Whoa, slow down! Sexual assault is a bit of a stretch – it was just a few dirty jokes!” Is it? A study on women in the military indicates a correlation between sexual harassment and assault. “Women in the military who had been sexually harassed in the past year were 14 times more likely to also have been sexually assaulted in the same period compared with women who had not been sexually harassed[…] about a third of service members who were sexually assaulted said the offender had previously sexually harassed them” (source).

While verbal harassment plagues 77% of women, 51% have reported being touched in an unwelcome way. Over. Half. Of. Women. Have. Been. Inappropriately. Touched. Picture the hairiest, least appealing person imaginable grabbing your junk, guys. That’s how this feels. Because even if you’re Brad Pitt, disrespecting our physical autonomy makes you completely unappealing.

I cannot even begin to guess how many times a random guy has grabbed my ass, groped my tit, or worse. At the bar. At school. At work. In the park. At the movies. The mall. A party. It is a violation. Of my autonomy. Of my choice. Of my body. Do NOT touch random people, and don’t touch people you know without consent. Just knock this shit off already.

Four years ago, Emma Krenzer created Touches while she was a student at Nebraska Wesleyan University. On January 23, 2017, she explained the project on Twitter: “The prompt for this project was to create some sort of map. I created a map of human touch on another humans body and it’s lasting impact.”

In an article about Krenzer’s project, she noted, “I made this project largely for myself to actually visualize the lasting impact that touch can have on an individual.”

More than a quarter of women (27%) are victims of sexual assault. One in four. For a woman with disabilities, the likelihood of being assaulted becomes two in five (source). According to RAINN, an American is sexually assaulted every 73 seconds. In fact, would you like to know the average number of rape and sexual assault victims annually, age 12 and older (you know I’m going to tell you anyway!): 433,648.

The 2018 ESPYS Arthur Ashe Award for Courage is presented to representatives for the 'sister survivors' who spoke out against sexual abuse by their former team doctor.

People between the ages of 18 and 34 are at the highest risk, comprising 54% of the population of victims. And while 82% of all juvenile victims are female, females also make up 90% of adult rape victims (who actually report).

Rape(noun): 1. unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person’s will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception. 2. an outrageous violation

Yet less than 20% of rapes are reported (source). Here’s some useful information about nominal proportion of rapes that are actually reported. Looking at the graphic, you can see how few rapists face trial, let alone conviction or jail time. The project, completed in 2013, points out, “Until 2012, the federal definition of rape was limited to penetration of a vagina by a penis. Therefore, 100% of rapists would have to be men.” (Pause – we’re coming back to that. But please note that this does NOT mean all men are rapists. No woman I’ve ever met has expressed that belief, and I’m 100% convinced that rapists comprise a minority of men .)

#MENtoo
Men are victims of sexual harassment and sexual assault, too. In fact, according to this survey, 10% of men have been sexually harassed at work. EEOC reports shows that the percentage of sexual harassment claims filed by men has risen from 8% in 1990 up to nearly 18% in 2020 (source).

Looking at data from the EEOC over the past 20 years, we see changes in the sexual harassment charges being brought forward in terms of the victims’ gender. From 2001-2020, there were 192,137 total charges brought in America’s 50 states, along with Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico. Excluding charges brought by persons whose gender was unidentified, there were 80,945 charges filed from 2001-2010, 15.3% of which were filed by men. During the most recent decade, men alleged sexual harassment in 18.3% of the 69,636 cases filed.

When we compare the data for the first decade of the millennium to the data for the second decade, a reduction of over 1,000 cases per year (on average) can be observed; however, as we see a decrease in the number of women filing charges, there’s also a slight increase in the number of men filing charges.

This is fairly consistent with the percentage of sex-based harassment allegations (which include sexual harassment) filed by men from 2010-2020 – an annual average of 16.8% (source).

Those numbers are significantly higher than the 8% of charges that were brought by men in 1990. So, what’s changed? Most likely, the increase in men reporting can be partially attributed to a landmark 1998 Supreme Court ruling, Oncale v. Sundowner Offshore Services , which found same-sex sexual harassment is a form of discrimination protected under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (source).

If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.

Another study found 34% of men were subjected to verbal sexual harassment, while 17% were “touched or groped in an unwelcome way” (source). We talked earlier about the study that showed military women who were subjected to sexual harassment were 14 times more likely to be sexually assaulted… For men, that number is exponentially higher – they are 49 times more likely to be sexually assaulted!

One in six men (17%) are victims of sexual violence (source). In fact, 10% of rape victims are male (source). Male victims are even less likely to report than women. Dr. Sarah Crome says that less than 10% of male victims actually report the atrocity that occurred to them (source).

According to this article, Crome also noted, “Male rape victims bear an extra burden because a male-on-male assault affects a man’s sexual identity in a fundamental way, shaming him by challenging his sense that, as a man, he should be able to protect himself.”

So when we talk about men being sexually assaulted, it’s important to note that, while 20.8% of heterosexual men report non-rape sexual assault, that number nearly doubles to 40.2% for gay men and increases to 47.4% for bisexual men (source). Gay and bisexual men are subject to slurs and harassment in disproportionate amounts.

This study states that “42% of gay and bisexual men reported facing physically aggressive sexual harassment compared with 25% of straight men, and 19% of gay and bisexual men reported experiencing sexual assault compared with 6% of straight men.”

“While the difference in sexual harassment based on sexual orientation for women was not statistically significant, lesbian and bisexual respondents reported experiencing each type slightly more than straight women. The difference for sexual assault was significant, however: 48% of lesbian or bisexual women reported experiencing sexual assault compared with 25% of straight women” (source).

The EEOC publishes statistics on LGBT-Based Sex Discrimination Charges, but they did not begin “tracking information on charges filed alleging discrimination related to gender identity and/or sexual orientation [until] charges received on or after January 1, 2013.” “Being called a homophobic or transphobic slur [like ‘fag,’ ‘dyke,’ or ‘tranny’] was the most frequently selected form of sexual harassment for men (17%), while it was the least for women (8%)” (source).

In 2016, Chai R. Feldblum & Victoria A. Lipnic published “Select Task Force on the Study of Harassment in the Workplace,” in which they summarized results from several surveys, showing that LGBT respondents are sexually harassed at higher rates than their heterosexual counterparts – one survey of LGBT persons found that 58% had “heard derogatory comments about sexual orientation and gender identity in their workplaces.”

According to a report published by UCLA School of Law Williams Institute, 27% of LGB respondents experienced discrimination based on sexual orientation in the five years preceding the survey, and for those folks who were out of the closet at work? That number jumped up to 38%.

For transgender folks, the likelihood of harassment is even higher. The Williams Institute report also stated “As recently as 2011, 78% of respondents to the largest survey of transgender people to date reported experiencing at least one form of harassment or mistreatment at work because of their gender identity; more specifically, 47% had been discriminated against in hiring, promotion, or job retention. Consistently, 70% of transgender respondents to a 2009 California survey and 67% of transgender respondents to a 2010 Utah survey reported experiencing employment discrimination because of their gender identity.”

report from the National Center for Transgender Equality indicates that “Nearly half (47%) of [transgender] respondents have been sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime. This included any experiences with ‘unwanted sexual contact, such as oral, genital, or anal contact, penetration, forced fondling, or rape.’”

Sexual harassment and sexual assault are atrocities that impact women and men – regardless of race, sexual orientation and even genitals. But men being mistreated doesn’t negate the fact that women are the victims of sexual harassment and assault situations more frequently, and if we reduce assaults against women, that creates a culture change that has a positive impact for men, too.

“A genuine male victim tends to feel sympathy for abused women & support their cause. The Victim, on the other hand, often says that women exaggerate or fabricate their claims of abuse or insists that men are abused just as much as women are”

While men being sexually harassed and assaulted is just as appalling as when it happens to women, bringing this up in every discussion about women’s experiences is dismissive and generally used to derail the conversation about women. Because we don’t want to talk about that, right? Because when we talk about women being assaulted, we’re obviously talking about ALL MEN. 🙄

#NotAllMen
NOT ALL MEN! It’s the cry that women hear as soon as this topic comes up (Yep, it’s time to hop up on the old soapbox, gals and gents). Countless conversations with men – open-minded men, great men who I’d never suspect of sexual harassment or assault – result in defensive, dismissive claims – Not All Men!! But when I talk to a man about these issues, it’s not because I think he’s part of the problem – I’m asking him to be part of the solution!

Tiktok influencer Prithika Chowdhury recently addressed this debate in a viral video (no longer available, but screenshots are provided in this article), by giving examples that she hopes viewers can relate to: “I take your hand and lead you to three doors. Two of the doors are safe, you’ll survive. However, if you open that one door, you’ll die. Gaining this knowledge, would you open a door? Possibly not… We go fishing together, and we find an alligator. Knowing that one alligator is there, would you still go fishing? No, you wouldn’t – you’d get the fuck out of there and find another spot. I hand you like 10 cheesecakes… You could get diabetes from that, but that’s not the point. Two of them are poisoned, but you know 80%? You’ll be perfectly fine. Would you still take a bit of one of the cheesecakes?”

“I don’t think you would,” Chowdhury continued. “See, it wasn’t ALL the doors, it was ENOUGH doors. It didn’t have to be every single alligator in the world – just that one alligator was enough for you to flee. It’s not ALL the cheesecakes, it’s ENOUGH cheesecakes!! And it’s NOT. ALL. MEN. It’s just too many men. It’s just enough men to be afraid of.”

“Most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect while most women fear rape and death.”

A Tweet from @cassrattray pointed out: “Maybe it’s not all men, but it’s 3% away from being all women.”

You’re right. Not all men. But it’s enough men for most women to experience it, to learn to be cautious. Enough men to create fear, for girls to be taught to carry pepper spray, for women to be afraid to walk home alone at night, to be told how to dress. (If you’re interested in why that’s utter bullshit, check out this art exhibit that shows what women and girls were actually wearing when they were raped – and if you can look at those children’s sundresses without feeling something, you should renege on that contract you signed with the Devil because you’re soulless!)

“What Were You Wearing?”

Just like “but rape happens to men, too” serves to redirect the focus on female victims, “not all men” derails the conversation about the men that we’re actually talking about! And this is a derailment that women have faced for decades when trying to combat these tragedies.

“As early as 1985, author Joanna Russ expressed a familiar weariness in her feminist love story On Strike Against God: ‘…that not all men make more money than all women, only most; that not all men are rapists, only some; that not all men are promiscuous killers, only some; that not all men control Congress, the Presidency, the police, the army, industry, agriculture, law, science, medicine, architecture, and local government, only some’” (source).

Here’s some more information on how #NotAllMen is detrimental to the fight against sexual violence.

And while it’s #NotAllMen, the majority of perpetrators of sexual crimes ARE men. According to the NIJ, Special Report, Findings from the Violence Against Women Survey, most rape victims were attacked by men (99.6% of women and 85.2% of men). In 96% of child sexual abuse cases, the abuser is male (source). In 2010, “State and local law enforcement agencies made about 20,100 arrests for forcible rape in 2010. Females were 1% of these arrests” (source).

So how many men are actually rapists? Since as many as 75% of rapes and sexual assaults go unreported, and even more never seen a trial, let alone a conviction (97% of rapists never spend a single day in jail, source), it may be impossible to know. One study found that nearly one-quarter of Asian men (24%) confessed to “what’s classed in this study as ‘sexual violence with girlfriends or wives past and present’, or ‘partner rape.’”

According to the Order of the White Feather, “1 in 16 (6.5%) men are rapists[…] although other studies show as high as nearly 15% of 1 in 7 men.” In a Quora thread on this topic, Irish writer Eileen M. Gormley noted, “Only around 1% [of men in a University study] admitted raping or being willing to rape a woman. But around 33% said that they would do things to try to get a woman to change her mind after she said no, from pressuring her to getting her drunk. That’s rape. She said no, and trying to have sex with her after she said no is rape. But if you don’t use the word ‘rape,’ around a third of men admit they do this.”

Damn, that sounds like a lot of fucking dudes!! However, I subscribe to this philosophy: “While most rapists are male, most males are not rapists. Most ‘undetected’ rapists (those who have not been convicted or served time in jail) are repeat rapists who commit an average of six rapes each. Instead of using weapons, threats, or extreme physical force or violence, most undetected rapists premeditate their attacks, identify and isolate victims, and deliberately use only as much force as necessary, such as psychological weapons and alcohol.” (source).

According to RAINN, “Perpetrators of rape are often serial criminals.” They go on to share that 37% of suspected rape perpetrators referred to prosecutors “have at least one prior felony conviction,” while 10% have five or more. FIVE OR MORE! Yet, 52% “will be released—either because they posted bail or for other reasons—while awaiting trial.”

“In a study of 1,882 university men conducted in the Boston area, rapists were identified. These 120 undetected rapists were responsible for rapes. Of the 120 rapists, 44 had committed a single rape, while 76 (63% of them) were serial rapists who accounted for 439 of the 483 rapes. These 76 serial rapists had also committed more than 1,000 other crimes of violence, from nonpenetrating acts of sexual assault, to physical and sexual abuse of children, to battery of domestic partners. None of these undetected rapists had been prosecuted for these crimes” (source). Here’s some more information.

While I do believe that many men are prone to pressure a woman into sex, I personally hesitate to call that “rape,” though it can easily turn into it (and I completely respect the women and men who view it as rape because it’s your story, your experience, and that’s what matters. Your experience is valid, YOU are valid and valuable).

Now getting her drunk to lower her inhibitions and change her mind? That’s rape. Alcohol is “considered the #1 ‘date rape drug.’ When drugs and alcohol are involved, clear consent cannot be obtained. An intoxicated person cannot give consent” (source). Besides that, contrary to popular belief, 80% of female rape victims were not using drugs or alcohol at the time of their attack (source).

Also, note: “Sexual activity without consent is considered rape or other sexual assault” (source).

So, if sex without consent is rape (or assault), then the concept of nonconsensual sex is flawed because it doesn’t exist; it becomes something else. That also means that consensual sex doesn’t exist. It’s either SEX or RAPE.

OK, what is the fourth Dirty Little Secret?

So, we asked earlier – Does any person deserve to be treated like this?! The answer is FUCK NO. NO ONE DESERVES THIS TREATMENT!!

Every single person deserves dignity and respect on this level at a bare fucking minimum! “Rape is not miscommunication. It is a crime” (source).

Tragically, it’s a crime that has been so accepted in our society that we’ve been manipulated into believing this is normal (credit: Jayme).

If at least 33% of women are sexually assaulted by no more than 15% of men (source), that means 85%, a clear majority, are not rapists. Following that logic and those percentages, that would indicate that if 80% of women are sexually harassed, no more than 40% of men are doing the harassing.

But we stay silent. Women stay silent. Men stay silent. Why do we, the majority who know these behaviors are wrong, continue to stay silent?

On March 12, 2021, writer Clementine Ford offered an enlightening take: “The demands that we specify ‘not all men’ are misleading. What people really want to see attached to every discussion [about sexual harassment and assault] is the fawning acknowledgement that MOST men are wonderful and brilliant and would never ever hurt a woman or ignore abuse or not speak up. My friends, I’m sorry to say that this is a lie. Most men are in fact neutral and do prefer silence to challenging other men. Do you know why? Because in a lot of cases, MEN ARE ALSO SCARED OF OTHER MEN. They’re scared of men turning on them, abusing them, hurting them, ridiculing them, bullying them and even of being violent towards them. MEN ARE SCARED OF OTHER MEN. DEAL WITH THE FUCKING PROBLEM OF THIS.”

It’s easy for men to say this is a “women’s issue” so they don’t have to confront it, don’t have to do anything. But doing nothing is accepting things the way they are, staying silent is part of the problem. Where do you stand?

When you believe in something, stand up for it, even if everyone is sitting.”

What can you do?

It’s really no secret that sexual harassment and assault is a topic that we, as a society, are extremely uncomfortable with. But the longer we brush this under the rug, the longer it will continue to happen. I don’t want to comfort my granddaughter after a guy at school groped her, forced himself on her. Enough is enough, and it starts by acknowledging:

Sexism, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape – they’re all perpetuated by silence! Rape is not a four-letter word! Now, I don’t mean that rape isn’t dirty, offensive, and something horrible to hear about, let alone to live through – instead, I mean that it’s something we need to stop being afraid to say. Of course, there are instances where the fear to speak out about rape is caused by actual danger, and in those cases, safety takes precedence; however, many women (and men) do not report instances of rape because they are ashamed. They’re ashamed that they’ve been victimized.

What other crimes elicit such an illogical response ? If a drunk driver smashes into your car, are you ashamed? Would you feel guilty if a stranger broke into your house, destroyed your TV, gave you a black eye, and stole your car? If he also raped your wife, would you blame her?

Not all men are actual rapists. Some are rape apologists. Some tell rape jokes. Some are victim blamers. Some are silent.”

And yet…

“Through action, man becomes a hero.”

I truly believe MOST people in this world, male and female, are disgusted by the prevalence of sexual harassment and assault, but fear prevents many of us from saying something. It’s time to break the silence, to speak up, to speak out. It’s time to effect change and to create a better world for our children and future generations. Let that be our legacy.

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

It starts with the little stuff, the sexist comments which lead to rape culture. “One of the fundamental concepts at the heart of ‘rape culture’ is the idea that rape is inevitable, men can’t help themselves, and women must therefore work to protect themselves against it. Within the context of rape culture, the idea that men are entitled to sexual experiences is deeply entrenched. The UN researchers found that this attitude is pervasive among the rapists they surveyed. Among the men who acknowledged they had sexually assaulted someone else, more than 70 percent of them said they did it because of ‘sexual entitlement.’ Forty percent said they were angry or wanted to punish the woman. About half of the men said they did not feel guilty” (source).

Educate yourself about the different ways that sexism and misogyny lead to harassment, assault and rape. And then – Open. Your. Mouth. Call it out, shut it down, REPORT IT – but do something.

Victims of sexual harassment share common reactions to rape, though “each survivor copes differently.” Those reactions include guilt, shame, self-blame, fear (of their assailant and other people), a sense of vulnerability, avoidance, anger, mood swings, distrust, loss of control over their life, numbness, re-experiencing, and sexual concerns, including fear of intimacy (source).

Learn how to identify and combat unconscious bias and to combat it: These Companies Are Battling Sexual Harassment By Teaching Employees to Recognize Unconscious Bias. Better yet, take a course on Bystander Intervention Training.

Hire and promote more women because diversity in leadership has been proven to reduce sexual harassment (source). Ensure that your HR department is properly handling harassment claims: Women wary of reaching out to human resources or 10 Tips for Better Sexual Harassment Investigations. This article suggests, “A designated sexual harassment complaint form makes it easier for employees to file complaints and have their voice heard.”

This article offers a great (and comically accurate) way to prevent acts of sexual harassment: “It’s not complex, tricky or confusing, this issue of sexual harassment. Simply treat every woman you come across the way you would treat [Dwayne] Johnson. Would you put your hand on The Rock’s knee, massage his shoulders while talking about a work issue, ask him up to your hotel room, fondle his behind, lock the door from your desk or drop your pants and show him your junk? No? Congratulations, it’s #NotYouToo.”

Sexual Harassment Resources

If you have any doubts, make sure you understand consent. Here are some useful articles:
This website offers a variety of virtual harassment training webinars as well as other HR resources. These companies offer “Unconscious Bias” training that users can access at little to no cost:
Here are some tips on how to talk to men about sexism and sexist behavior:
If you’ve been the victim of sexual harassment or assault, file a claim here. There are many victim support organizations out there, but here’s a few:
Before we jump into the additional quotes and some bonus material, we wanted to say THANK YOU for sticking with us this month. This journey has been emotional for Jayme and me, but it has also been so very rewarding. We hope to continue building on this content. If you have a story of your own or a thought on a topic that we absolutely MUST cover next time around, please reach out to us!

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

Together, we can reduce sexism in the automotive and skilled labor trades industries – and beyond! And maybe someday, we can eliminate it altogether. Because we all deserve a world in which we’re valued for our contributions instead of our genders.

#MeToo

I’ll be 36 in June. I assume there was an age that I didn’t know sexism, harassment. The first time I remember a boy doing something inappropriate was first grade when a kid in class would climb under my desk and look up my dress. I learned to hate wearing dresses, a hatred that followed me for 20 years. The first time my body was objectified, I was 8. Unfortunately, I began to develop when I was quite young, so by the time I was 9 years old, I fully filled an A-cup bra and was already accustomed to answering questions about whether “they’re really real.” By that age, boys had groped me on multiple occasions. At 10, a grown man commented on my ass in the grocery store (my mother, who only heard half of what he said, nearly throttled him).

I learned that my body didn’t really belong to me. I learned that my truths would be questioned, doubted, over and over again. I learned that I could never be real enough. I learned to hide. Or rather I tried to hide, briefly.

In middle school, I went to the local Baptist private school where the kids were super cliquey. Again, the veracity of my body shop was questioned, and subsequently, my virginity. This was a trend that continued through middle school and high school. By then, I was angry, bitter, insecure, and overly sensitive. I lashed out constantly; I became a bully without even realizing it. My defense mechanism was “BITCH” & those caps are there for a reason. I made decisions to spite people way more frequently than I currently care to admit. That worked out in my benefit in many ways, though. I refused to give into peer pressure to drink and do drugs – not to say that I was completely straight-edge, but I did what I did on my time.

At my job during high school, I worked at a retail store with high traffic. Which meant that a lot of men had access to me, and there was a time when I saw it as a compliment, like many young girls do. When I was 17, a 26-year-old man took me to the movies, left flowers on my car. A 31-year-old man told me “age ain’t nothing but a number baby;” my rebuttal: “It’s a number that’ll get you 5-10.” (I didn’t know then how few rapists are actually convicted).

At 17, I made the mistake of going to an older guy’s house to watch a movie. I think he was around 21? Making out got intense, and he tried to undress me. I resisted, and he intensified his efforts. No clue what came over me, but I took my shirt off & said, “Well, go get a condom!” And as he ran into his room, I RAN my ass out of that house & had my truck in reverse before his screen door closed.

Because I was constantly accused of being a whore, a slut, a skank, I was a virgin when I graduated high school (at least, I was a virgin as I then understood the antiquated term, which is to say that a penis had not penetrated my vagina). I was two days shy of my 18th birthday when I “gave it up” to a long-term friend. It wasn’t romantic; it was transactional. As in, he’d been wanting to sleep with me, and I figured it was better to lose it to him than to go to college and get raped or drunkenly sleep with a rando. I was starting to understand.

I made a lot of mistakes and missteps in my twenties as I tried to figure out who I was and who I wanted to become. I disrespected my body sexually and health-wise, gaining over 70 pounds from age 18 to 30. Even at my heaviest, I’ve had men sexually harass and assault me. In fact, I weighed an unhealthy 200 pounds when I was violated by a man that I’d been friends with for a decade.

I’ve had random men grab my breasts, push their dicks up against me, even try to stick their hands down my pants. It’s happened when I was sweaty from working out, when I was with friends and alone, when I was all dolled up (though actually, that’s when it seems to happen less frequently for me), even when I had my hair in foils outside the beauty salon, inhaling a cigarette. Ugh.

Since I began working on this project with Jayme, I’ve had several disturbing encounters with men (and I’ve seriously been working like 80 hours a week and barely even responding to texts, as most of my loved ones can attest). But one stands out in particular.

On March 10th: I received a text from a random number (semi-local, from the next state over) that said “chasidy…” I responded, “May I ask who this is?” Then I received this (line breaks removed):

“sure… as odd as it may sound, i saw your okcupid profile, put 2 & 2 together, found your facebook profile, messaged you on messenger, and also here (since this # was on your facebook profile). now, if all that wasn’t too creepy… bear with me, for this is a bit difficult. *deep breath* i have a friend, and we’ve been talking for a while, and she recently confided in me that she’s finally ready to fulfill one of her fantasies: a threesome. she’s never done this before, but she loves your profile, as do i (you’re obviously intelligent, charming, vivacious, engaging, cultured, in possession of great tastes, open minded), and we find you absolutely gorgeous, so she wanted me to ask you if this is something that might interest you… ? if that was all a bit too much, and you feel “stalked”, then i profusely apologize, and will completely understand and respect your decision to end this now.”

I did not take this gentleman up on his offer, but I also didn’t serve up the verbal abuse that he truly deserved. Why? Well, this crazy mu’fucker stalked me out from a name and a picture on a dating profile. My name is not common, I get it, but that’s just creepy. And then to reach out to me on Facebook, and then he proceeded to my business page or website where he obtained my cell phone number (note: these are places I share my phone number for business purposes, not for social purposes. Socially, if I want you to have my phone number, I’ll give it to you). So how hard would it be for him to find me, assuming he doesn’t already have my address? Look – yes, I WILL shoot a twatwaffle coming up on my property with ill-intent, but I don’t WANT to be put in that position!

And I don’t want my children or your children to ever be put in that position either. I don’t want there to be a need for any more women or men to share #metoo.

Who We Be

Jayme and Chasidy are the HBICs (Head Bitch in Charge) of Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, respectively.

Femcanic Garage is “a community of like-minded women in the skilled-trades, automotive, and motorsports industries. Through our shared accomplishments, careers, and dreams, we elevate and empower each other to realize our highest potential. Together, we strive to smash stereotypes and break barriers for women in the industry and evolve the world to see us as the leaders that we are.” To Jayme, Femcanic is all about “creating a global space for women in this industry, an industry a lot of women love.”

Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications is a freelance writing operation that provides content and copywriting, predominantly to the automotive and collision repair industries.

What’s This Got to Do with Either of Us Anyway?

We are women. We are feminists. We think this industry offers awesome career options for some really amazing people, but we also believe that the sexism and misogyny that pervades our society plays a role in some of the automotive industry’s challenges. And we have faith that you can do better.

Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

Feminism (noun): belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests (source).

Note how it says equality, rather than subjugation. Feminists aren’t trying to become the ruling gender; leaders should be elected based on knowledge and skills, including interpersonal “soft” skills, rather than on whether they have a penis or a vagina.

But here’s another perspective on what feminism COULD mean – if gender equality is embraced.

In an industry that accepts women’s equality and promotes diversity, women will no longer feel pressured to become one of the guys to fit in. Each woman will be able to “stop trying to be a second-class man and be a first-class woman.”

Women will be able to own the fact that, yes, we are women, and yes, we are a minority in this industry – but we won’t have to try to be anything other than the woman each of us already is.

What if being a feminist simply meant embracing and falling in love with your own version of femininity? There’s a gentleness that’s often inherent in women, and tragically, it’s frequently suppressed in male-dominated industries where to be a woman is to be “less than.”

But being a woman is a gift, and that softness is part of what makes women so special. Being a badass in the shop doesn’t have to prevent you from showing your heart of gold – and that also applies to men. Men are allowed to have – and express – emotions, too!

Why We’re in Your Face

Inequality hurts ALL people – men, women, black, white, LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual), or heterosexual. It sets up a system where everyone is told what they can do, who they can be, how high they can reach.

So why is no one talking about it? Sure, some people don’t recognize it’s even happening, especially people who’ve never experienced or witnessed it – after all, how do you explain color to the blind, right?

But there’s a larger reason: FEAR. We (as individuals, as women and as people in general) are afraid. We’re afraid of how we’ll be perceived if we call out bad behavior, if we set standards for how we’ll be treated, if we demand equality.

And we’re afraid for good reason. The history books are full of martyrs who stood up for what was right – only to be knocked down and persecuted. No one wants to lose their career because they “can’t take a joke.” Never mind that the joke stopped being funny long ago.

“All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.”

We need to leave our comfort zones - it’s time to BREAK THE SILENCE!

However, that can only happen when women in the industry collectively step into their true and authentic selves, and if WE are too afraid to do it, how can we ask anyone else to take that step?

This series is very personal, for both of us. While planning and laboring over this series, Jayme and I had numerous conversations. We talked through the risks, the fears, the comedy, and the tragedy of it all. The hardest discussion, though, was trying to identify our WHY.

Why ARE we doing this? Why did two busy women (with careers, side hustles, households to support, and occasionally social lives) decide to take time out of their already-hectic lives to research, interview, create graphics, sit on video calls for hours on end, and create content that has caused stress, anxiety, discomfort, lost sleep, tears, nausea… It’d be so much easier to relax on the couch and watch a sitcom!

Jayme’s reason boiled down to this:

My children are the reason for everything I do. As the mother of a son and a daughter, my ultimate purpose is to do what I can to create a world that is safer, better, for them to live in. My job is to protect them, and though I can’t control everything, I need to do what is possible.

The thought of someone treating my child (or anyone I love) in the way that these women have been treated – the idea of them going through that – is unimaginable. This is something I can do.

These topics are still grossly taboo, and the needle needs to move. I can use my community, my skills, my network, my voice, and my passion to do my part – to try to make a difference. This is something I can do.

I’ve dealt with and seen these issues my entire career, and I’ll be damned if my children have to go through the same thing; it’s one thing to hurt me, but it’s another entirely if you hurt my child. But speaking up against injustice sets the right example for my kids. This is something I can do.

Maybe, just maybe, by using my platform, my voice, I can help a woman. Help her prevent a situation or help her understand how to confront it. Maybe this series helps a man understand that the most dangerous thing is silence, and he becomes an ally, speaking up against those other men AND women who verbalize their misogyny. This is something WE can do.

“It is not the intelligent woman v. the ignorant woman; nor the white woman v. the black, the brown, and the red, it is not even the cause of woman v. man. Nay, ‘tis woman’s strongest vindication for speaking that the world needs to hear her voice.”

For me, this is a topic that’s been on my mind for a while – not just in the automotive industry but in general. It’s something I’ve dealt with my entire life – being told what I could do, how to act, what to say, how to dress, how to look, and so on (and on, and on, and on…since 1985).

Like Jayme said, you can hurt me, but there will be hell to pay if you hurt my child. I am not a mother, but I have many children who I consider “mine:” nephews and nieces, a bonus kid, and 14 godchildren, 11 of whom are girls.

A thing happened a couple years ago to one of them. A thing that has happened to many women, and I’ve always known it lurking possibility, even when I was a girl. And though I’m not ready to go into detail, #metoo.

But it felt different when it happened to one of my girls. To find out that a man had put his hands on a child that I consider MINE to protect – twice. A 7-year-old girl, later a 13-year-old girl. A child. My child.

I’ve never felt so much despair, so SO much despair. So helpless, hopeless. Why wasn’t I there? Or her mother, father, grandmother, brother, preacher, teacher, anyone else – why was she alone with a predator?

Then, I got scared. There are well over two dozen girls in my life – my bonus daughter, goddaughters, nieces, friend’s children, etc… Statistically, that means that at least four of them will have the same experience in their lifetime (source). How can that be the world we live in?

Finally, I got angry. And I’ve stayed angry as I’ve watched repeated assaults on equality, on women, on friends, on strangers. As my girls have told me about boys groping them at school, about teachers demeaning them, about men in their 30s and 40s asking teenagers on dates.

I’ve struggled to compose my thoughts, to express this, to speak with my voice. I’ve never had such a hard time writing something, but I’m so glad that Jayme and I decided to collaborate on this. It’s scary, but her courage strengthens me.

For the first time in years, I feel like my voice could possibly do some good; I don’t feel helpless or hopeless. I feel empowered. And I hope you will too.

For too long, we’ve all been waiting – waiting for change, for progress, for permission, for leaders in the automotive industry (and in the world) to finally say, “Enough is enough!”

We’re ready for change NOW – change that benefits women, men, boys and girls – change that will make a better future for all of our children. We are stronger together.

We hope that, through Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skills Trades Industries, we can provide women and men alike with the strength to give themselves permission and to find the courage to share their stories. We can make this industry a more diverse, equitable and inclusive place for everyone. This is something we can all do, together.

With hope and faith in a better future,
Chasidy & Jayme

*The views and opinions expressed in this blog series, Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries, are solely those of the authors, Jayme Blasiman and Chasidy Rae Sisk, and do not reflect the views, opinions or policies of any past, present or future employer, client or any other organization with which Jayme or Chasidy are affiliated.

**Identities of contributing professionals have been concealed to protect the innocent and subsequently the guilty. Provided ages are approximate.

***References to all individuals, organizations or concepts in this series are done provided for informational purposes only. You should not rely upon any information or materials on these pages in making or refraining from making any specific business decision or other decisions. In most cases, we have no affiliation with those mentioned, but in all cases, no compensatory arrangement was made for the reference. Actually, we’re hoping they aren’t mad that we mentioned them! While we believe that the resources, individuals and organizations represent the traits that we admire, that belief is limited to our experience and exposure to them. We take no responsibility or liability for the conduct or content of those entities, their sites, or any offerings made. Additionally, we make no warranty regarding any transactions, products or services executed through or by a third party. All such transactions are conducted entirely at your own risk. Any warranty provided in connection with any of these third party’s offerings or services will be solely provided through said third party, not through Femcanic Garage or Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, LLC.

Chasidy’s unfiltered thoughts – A note:
These are my gut reactions and the part of this collaboration that has given me the most hesitation. I rarely write in my voice – my projects require providing an objective viewpoint or assuming someone else’s voice, so I do my best to avoid interjecting myself into the story. That is not the case in Dirty Little Secrets… you’ll find glimpses of me throughout these blogs; however, these are overt interjections that are me at my rawest, most unfiltered and least PC. They are the thoughts you’d normally only be privy to if we were kicked back on my couch with a glass of wine in hand. So the professional in me apologizes, but the woman who believes in equality – well, she knows that my embarrassment is worthwhile if it makes just one person second-guess a previously unfair practice. Thank you for tolerating my snark.

Bonus Content

This creepy customer comes around and flirts with our service writer. Once, he commented on what a nice ass she had…it was weird. Thank God he still thinks I’m a guy – due to my hair being tied up and my rather scrawny figure!

I was told that I could be a problem because of sexual harassment. OMFG, I am a freakin’ grandmother!! But if the MEN are the ones causing the harassment, doesn’t that reflect more on them than the women they harass??

The lead painter would bipolar his way between professing his love for me and creepily noticing all my physical traits, to lashing out and criticizing my errors to everyone. I was on eggshells. Everyone thought we were sleeping together< despite my clear hatred of him. I just did my job so I could learn and get the fuck out of there, rather than punch him in the face every day. I’m in a better place now.

I had a supervisor rub my shoulders while I was filling out notes on a repair order. He said, “You feel good but could feel better.” I was one of several calls that went into our local labor board, and he was fired for a whole host of unbelievable behaviors. I didn’t feel safe; if those calls hadn’t worked, I wasn’t sure what else I was going to do, except go somewhere else, but I still needed to get my apprenticeship paperwork.

So, just because we like substantiating all the information we’ve provided, we wanted to provide some rapey-ass quotes from real men, some of whom you’ve probably heard of, that demonstrate the monsters behind the statistics. These are the men that cause women to clutch their keys and walk faster when they notice a man in the parking lot. These are the men who make women fear the good guys, too.

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers 🥂 to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them here.

If the jobs are there, what’s stopping women from applying for them? That’s why we’re here – the dirtiest little secret of all. But it’s not really all that secret, is it? They are the buzzwords everywhere; they’re needed in every industry. Diversity. Equity. Inclusion. These are scary thoughts, but we promise to take it slow and break it down.

Diversity is just variety, and a little change never hurt anyone, right? Right. Equity means fair and impartial, easy enough. OK, and here’s the big one that we get stuck on. Inclusion is equal access to opportunities and resources. That’s it.

And let’s clear up one common misconception that’s pretty irking:

Including women doesn’t mean excluding men. The whole point of inclusion is INCLUDING EVERYONE, regardless of gender, race, religion, or anything else that is completely unrelated to someone’s ability to perform their job functions.

Well, my company has this covered – we hire women, and we treat our girls right! (+1 cool point if you recognize the subliminal sexism in this statement!)

You’re in the majority in that assumption. In fact, only 78% of men in the automotive industry believe that a lack of diversity, equity and inclusion “prevent people from considering a career in the automotive industry;” however, 64% of women disagree, making this the most common explanation they see for a lack of interest in automotive – more prohibitive than income, promotion opportunities, or any other dissuading factor (source).
But that’s just the perception, not the reality! She would tell me if…

If you’re still having doubts that you should be concerned about this issue, check out these stats:

When asked if they would stay in automotive if they were starting their career today, 45% of surveyed women said they would choose a different path (source). And unfortunately, she probably wouldn’t tell you if she’s uncomfortable or facing discrimination – although 90% of women indicate the industry’s bias towards men negatively impacts diversity (source), few women talk about the misogyny and sexism they’ve faced because they fear repercussions – demotions, unpleasant assignments or treatment, even job loss.

But if she talked, we’d listen. She just has to speak up!

Even speaking up can be an issue in the male-female dynamic. Women who express their discontent are generally dismissed, especially in situations when they are outnumbered by men.

Best case scenario: we’re accused of being emotional, bossy, too aggressive.

Worst case scenario: we are called a bitch, told to go bleed, even physically assaulted.


I’m feeling attacked here.

Welcome to our world! But seriously, buddy, we don’t think you’re a bad guy (????but if you ARE a misogynistic ass – fight me, my dude ????). Honestly, you’re probably a great friend, loving partner/parent, and maybe you even genuinely respect the women in your life. But you can’t know what you don’t know – you haven’t experienced the pains of being a woman any more than women have experienced the pain of being kicked in the ‘nads.

But seriously, aren’t things better? Have we made progress on equality? Sure! Thankfully, things ARE better than they were 50 years ago, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago.

But does that mean the problem is gone? Not yet.

If you install one or two tires on a car, how far will it go? Not very – but luckily, the automotive and skilled labor trades industries are pretty accustomed to constant technological advances, so we believe that you can translate that same diligence to social advances!

Welcome to the adventure!

Part 4- Sexism: Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skilled Trades Industries

Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries

A Five-Part Series

Brought to you by Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications*

Content/Trigger Warning:
This series will address issues that may be traumatic for some readers – Contains graphic language and references toverbal abuse, misogyny, homophobia, violence & sexual assault

Comedian George Carlin said, “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

That’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes, isn’t it? Compare a male and female of any other species on the planet… Sure, there are some biological differences – like a male dog humping everything in sight – but when the doorbell rings, a dog barks at the door, regardless of its genitals.

People, though… Well, we’re different from other species. Men and women respond differently to their environments (have you ever watched a sappy movie with your partner?), and they also have some different needs. But folks of both genders have a lot of similarities as well: They want to be liked, accepted and respected.

Here’s why you give a damn: Women held just 23.6% of jobs in the motor vehicles and motor vehicles equipment manufacturing industry in 2019 (source). Even more damning? Only 1% of positions for collision repair technicians and 1.4% of automotive service technician positions were filled by women.

And it’s not because women can’t do the job – I mean, seriously, have you seen some of these badasses?!

An industry in desperate need of qualified technicians and other personnel cannot afford to alienate half the population right out of the gate!

To celebrate Women’s History Month, we’re giving you some insights into the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries. We hope you’ll stick around for the ride – learn a little, laugh a little and hopefully find something that resonates!

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers 🥂 to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them at the bottom of this post .

And hey ladies – although this is addressed to the men for simplicity’s sake, this isn’t merely a “men” problem. There’s a lot of girl-on-girl crime going on in this industry (you get extra cool points if you get the reference)… as women, we can all do a better job of supporting one another. “Just laugh it off” only ensures that our daughters and even granddaughters are still dealing with the same bullshit – and they don’t have our sense of humor! They’re already fed up; they were BORN fed up.

In honor of Women’s History Month, Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications are partnering each Wednesday in March to bring you the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Labor Trades Industries.

This series features many voices, not just ours. Women in the automotive industry have graciously shared their stories**, and we’ve done our best to bring as much information and resources together as possible. We want to dive into those real, raw, taboo topics – the subjects that make you shush your friends if they speak too loudly in public – and we’ll share them through text, audio and imagery because people are diverse and everyone digests information differently – and that’s okay!

We’ll share our thoughts, too, because we want you to understand: This isn’t just a “them” problem, an “over there” problem – it’s a problem impacting you, impacting ALL of us, a problem that’s taking place RIGHT HERE, everywhere, and if we don’t break out of our comfort zones and start talking about these not-so-sexy secrets, nothing will ever change.

But more importantly, we’ll add our voices to the many women who’ve shared their stories because we owe them that. We owe them the added strength of our voices – we are stronger together, and unless we begin to address this as an industry and as a society, our daughters will be sharing these same stories 20 years down the road. We welcome you to this journey and are so excited you’ve decided to join us – women and other minorities need the support of strong allies and industry leadership to solve these problems.

Other industries have made significant strides when it comes to tackling similar concerns, proving that improvement IS possible. We believe it’s past time for the automotive and skilled labor trades industries to have this conversation.

Now, buckle up for a whirlwind of misplaced gender roles, disturbing tales from the frontlines, and a good hearty helping of brutal honesty. But before we dive in, a quick note to the gents and the ladies…

Men: We understand that you’re probably a little reluctant to confront this, and it’s awesome that you’re still with us – we promise we aren’t here to attack you. Now, we may challenge some ideas that that have been instilled in you and offer suggestions you haven’t considered, but it’s coming from a place of love and faith that you’re open, that you’re ready to have this conversation, that you’re prepared to participate in making this world a better place for all people. We know you have only the best intentions, but who hasn’t unintentionally offended someone? Let’s talk about some things you may not have thought of before and how these “women’s rights” issues impact you, too!

Women: For those of you who have faced gender discrimination or any of discrimination’s other ugly faces, we are here with you. We hear you. We see you. We believe you. To the rest of you, we know that not every woman feels oppressed – and we’re glad if you’re among that demographic. Keep on rocking! But a diamond doesn’t shine any less brightly because it’s surrounded by other diamonds… Help one another. Mentor each other. Let’s support ALL the badass women in the automotive and skilled labor trades industries!

Sexism: Women are People Too?!

Part 4 of 5

S“o, I taught myself to backstitch!” Mark confided in his best friend when they were 12 years old; Brandon responded, “DUDE! What kind of homo are you?!” Although Mark didn’t mention his love for sewing again until many years later, he spent his free time practicing different techniques. He dreamed of being a fashion designer – but straight men didn’t do shit like that.

Mark studied automotive repair at his local vo-tech high school, and he got a great job in a shop after graduation. He wasn’t in love with his job, though, and when he told his girlfriend, Amber, about his passion for sewing a few years later, she emailed him a job posting for an automotive interior upholstery expert! Mark found a career that he loves – and he doesn’t get called a “fag” at every family holiday event since he’s still in a field for manly men.

Alright folks, it’s the fourth week of this, and if you haven’t read the content/trigger warning since week 1 (or if you never read it), we are going to request that you take a peek because shit’s about to get real. We’re hitting this topic head-on: SEXISM.

Sexism (noun): 1. prejudice or discrimination based on sex, especially: discrimination against women. 2. Behaviors, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex.

“Man is defined as a human being and a woman as a female – whenever she behaves as a human being, she is said to imitate the male.”

Here’s the thing about sexism – it’s such a pervasive part of our heritage, our culture, our society, that most of us don’t even notice when it happens. Yeah, sure, of course, we notice the most blatant attacks. Most of the quotes we’re sharing from women in the field are the obvious examples. We aren’t going to dive into the little stuff, not this time around, but we’re mentioning it here because it’s something to keep in mind:

For every “bitch,” “cunt,” or “suck my dick” that a woman hears in the workplace, there are dozens, maybe even hundreds, of microaggressions that plague her day-in, day-out. Some women stick it out, grow a thicker skin. Others eventually quit. Career death from a thousand cuts.

This article contains a great explanation of the differences between overt, covert and subtle sexism.

I’m learning to notice the little stuff, but it breaks from everything I’ve been taught my entire life. This was largely my experience, but it’s also been the experience of many girls and women who I’ve known at various points in life. When we’re little girls, we learn that being a girl means being less than a boy. That belief is reinforced in so many ways that we’ve touched on and ways that we couldn’t possibly address in such a limited space. But what about the insults and compliments that children are subjected to… and subsequently internalize? “He runs like a girl.” “She’s different than other girls.” “She’s got balls.” “He’s a pussy.” Being compared to females or anything feminine was a taunt, an insult. As children, we learned that being female was something to be ashamed of. Masculine comparisons- those are praise. Just to be male is worthy of praise. No, that doesn’t mean that every man has it easy. No one has it easy. It just means that whatever else is going on, a man isn’t chastised from his childhood, simply because he was born with the wrong genitalia.

“What’s the worst possible thing you can call a woman? Don’t hold back, now. You’re probably thinking of words like slut, whore, bitch, cunt (I told you not to hold back!), skank. Okay, now, what are the worst things you can call a guy? Fag, girl, bitch, pussy. I’ve even heard the term ‘mangina.’ Notice anything? The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl. The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl. Being a woman is the ultimate insult. Now tell me that’s not royally fucked up.””

But sexism happens to men too! Yes, it does. And we believe that’s complete bullshit, too. While 81% of surveyed women reported being victims of sexist jokes in the workplace, 63% of men also indicated feelings of unease when comments were made about their physical appearance (source).

And society is rife with examples of covert and subtle sexism that harms men: alimony, custody of children, corporal punishment, the acceptance of violence, and even the tolerance of prison rape. While women benefit from these instances of sexism in some cases, they are typically not the ones perpetuating the discrimination –

“When men suffer from sexism, then, they do so in much the same way women do. That is, they suffer not because women rule the world and are targeting men, nor because feminism has somehow triumphed and brainwashed all of our elected officials (most of them still men) into ideological misandry. Rather, men suffer because of the same gender role stereotypes that hurt and restrict women—though men, being of a different gender, fall afoul of those stereotypes in different ways. Women are supposed to be passive and domestic and sexual—so their employment options and autonomy are restricted and they are fetishized and targeted for sexual assault and exploitation. Men are supposed to be active and violent—so their claims to domestic rights are denigrated and violence directed against them is shrugged off as natural or non-notable” (source).

These inequities which harm men carry over from the cultural notion that a woman belongs in the home… an idea that dates back to an era when women didn’t work outside the home, let alone have a successful career of her own. Feminists have fought against this stereotype for decades.

And research proves that most men do not agree with sexism. Research conducted by Catalyst indicates that 86% of men are personally committed to interrupting sexist behaviors when they see them at work! That’s awesome! What’s not so awesome? Only 31% feel confident in their ability to speak up, particularly in organizational climates where silence is the norm – Sound like any industries you might be familiar with?

“I have a sexual discrimination case against my old employer if that tells ya anything… I started off as an apprentice, worked there for two years and then (after I had been pushing for it for some time), they promoted me to flat rate. It started out okay, but they started to skip me for tickets and take my work… I was making substantially less than anyone else there because they refused to give me bigger jobs, even though I was just as capable and qualified as everyone else. That went on for MONTHS. I spoke up multiple times, but nothing got better. One day, they tried to pass this big truck off on me – the person who was next in line didn’t want it, and when I questioned them, they fired me. I had to deal with all kinds of shit on the regular there. The guys have multiple stalls in their bathrooms and a changing room too – the shop was made for them – but the women’s bathroom is just a private bathroom, so the guys kept sneaking in there to poop and would DESTROY the bathroom so I wasn’t able to go when I needed to. I asked everyone nicely to stop, but they didn’t. I put signs up, and they ripped them down… I taped them back up and then they covered the “wo” part of “women” so that it read ‘men.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
Ya know, up until the “they fired me” part, this sounded like the standard bullshit. I say that as a staunch feminist (in the weeks since I began these confessionals to y’all, I’ve become a lot more comfortable claiming that title…then I mixed it with rum) – but I also say that as a warning. I’m a generation older than this contributor, so I’m desensitized to a lot of discrimination. Less so than the women who came before me, the let-it-roll-off-your-back women. But I’m way less sensitive than these younger ladies. And I mean that as a compliment to them because they’ve recognized the patriarchal nonsense much sooner than I did. These young women, and the girls coming up behind them, were DONE before they could even spell fuck-the-patriarchy. They aren’t asking, cajoling, or begging – they are DEMANDING equality; they aren’t tolerating the misogynistic shit anymore.

So, our Maryland friend is brave. She experienced sexism, and she called it out – then, she was fired. And we wonder why women are reluctant to share their experiences with misogyny?

Sexism pervades the automotive industry. Yet, although 65% of women have been asked to perform lower level tasks, like note-taking and ordering food, which their male counterparts are not asked to do, nearly 30% believe the “automotive industry is no more sexist than any other industry;” 56% disagree. Nearly 80% of women have witnessed sexist behavior (from either gender) at industry conferences or off-site company gatherings – at least once. Over 40% have witnessed it on multiple occasions (source).

Compared to 5% of men, 16% of women are subject to microaggressions at work (source). If you don’t know what microaggressions are, read about them here. And what is the effect of these microaggressions? Silence. Fear. Withdrawal.

Although most women experience subtle sexist behaviors on a regular basis, women have been programmed to ignore them, shrug them off, to avoid making a scene. Women who object to this treatment are subject to retaliation: criticism, threats, job loss, violence. Crybaby. Bitch. Slut. (Yeah, somehow it always comes back to that. Woman spills a glass of milk, and suddenly she’s sleeping with the whole damn neighborhood. *Sigh*)

According to this Forbes article, “When we call out sexism, it’s easy to be seen as shrill or preachy. ‘Crying sexism is essentially victimizing yourself,’ [writer Rachel Balik said], and in [male-dominated] industries like tech, that’s never a good position to be in. Instead, stress that any discriminating language, boy-girl-black-white-rich-poor, is simply uncool. Doing so with a ‘tough’ demeanor so as not to ‘scare’ the men with your feminine ways might also be key.” So, in order to be taken seriously, act like a man? Cool.

“When handing out my resumes, one guy told me he “would never hire a girl to do a man’s job” and then proceeded to throw my resume in the garbage. I picked it out and told him I wouldn’t want to work for a piece of shit like him anyways. And thanks for letting me know what kind of person he was beforehand. I had been shot down so many times – that day, I was done being nice.””

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
How did that dude not get throat-punched?! Alright, you aren’t going to hire me, fine. You’re a sexist pig; good shit, I don’t want to work for you, twatwaffle. But how disrespectful is that? I’ve said it before, but put yourself in her shoes. “I’d never hire a red-head to do a brunette’s job.” “Oh, green-eyed people are lazy.” This is the shit that makes me question my attraction to men. Since I was a teenager, I’ve had this great magnet that says, “Women who want to be equal to men have no ambition.” OK, I’m going to be “super cringey” for all my little people by saying #Facts! And I don’t mean that women are superior to men. I mean that trying to be equal to any group is stupid – it indicates that you’re trying to be equal to the average. Who the hell wants to be average?!

So, here’s a great example of the difference between diversity and inclusion. Folks get hung up on diversity because they’re worried that someone less qualified might get the job they want – because of their gender, skin color, etc. Ontario wasn’t looking to be hired because she was a woman. She was an automotive professional seeking a job.

Inclusion. When you INCLUDE every qualified candidate – regardless of gender, race or anything other than their education and/or skills – diversity happens naturally.

Now, let’s talk about this from another perspective: the female consumer’s. As a business, you need to sell – products, services, whatever. But people don’t buy those things. People buy people. And 90% of women surveyed by the Car Care Council in 2016 believed that “auto repair shop operators treat them differently because they’re women” (source).

Think about the businesses you’re uncomfortable walking into. Are those businesses that employ people who don’t look or think like you? It’s even more unnerving in a situation where you feel vulnerable; after an auto accident, when you need to have your car repaired, for example. You want to feel safe, and being talked down to probably doesn’t provide the warm fuzzies.

Female consumers ARE (basically) the consumer market. In the United States, women make or influence 83% of all purchases, including more than 80% of car purchases. They buy 65% of all new cars and 45% of light trucks and SUVs, plus they order 65% of all service work. Yet, three-quarters of women feel misunderstood by car marketers. “Make sure your dealership is welcoming women — not only as customers, but also as employees” (source).

The Global Leadership Forecast Study 2018 found that companies with increased gender diversity and female representation are 1.4 times more likely to have sustained profitable growth (source).

My tech school instructor, who was also a manager at a big local collision shop, told me (in front of my classmates): “I’d never hire a woman, regardless of her talents, because of the distraction it would cause and the possibility of a lawsuit.” There have been many others, but that one stung the most because it almost made me quit. I’m glad I didn’t – I’ve been doing this for ten years now.

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
I’m glad you didn’t quit, too, Pennsylvania! Y’all see that you nearly lost another one, right? Because of a teacher again. I know some pretty awesome automotive and collision instructors. I cannot imagine them saying anything like this, and I hope they wouldn’t. But someone is saying this shit to these young girls. Girls who are already going against the grain, who are hearing it from their families and friends. Also, how fucking stupid is that mentally? “Oh, I’m not going to hire the best person for the job because       my other employees might be douchecanoes, and since I know I’m not willing to do shit about it, I might get in trouble.” GTFOH.

Let me point something out real quick – at industry conferences and training events, we talk a lot about attracting young people to the industry, how to engage them. But when we have that discussion, we are generally talking about young MEN, not young women. Because if we are going to talk about attracting young WOMEN to the automotive and skilled labor trades industries, we have to address the elephant in the room – sexism.

Why address sexism with this new generation when it was so easily ignored with the ones who came before? “Older gals know how to take a joke. These little girls are too uptight.” No, they were just born to women who were already fed up; those women had mothers who were sick of it all, which they’d learned as the daughters or granddaughters of women who were barely considered human.

Now, is a lawsuit a genuine fear business owners have? Of course, it is, and with good reason. Last year alone (2020), 11,497 charges alleging sex-based harassment were filed with the EEOC, resulting in more than $65 million in settlements – and that doesn’t even include the charges filed with their Fair Employment Practice agency partners! The bulk of those (6,587) consist of charges for sexual harassment allegations, but we’ll explore that next week (source).

First off, those numbers represent a small percentage of women who experience sex-based harassment. The number who don’t report is astronomical. There are 69.23 million EMPLOYED women in the United States, so if we assume that all of these charges were brought by women (which is NOT accurate), that would mean that 1.66% brought charges. Yet, 42% of working women in the U. S. have experienced covert gender discrimination at work in eight specific categories, as outlined in this article. Subtle sexism, the kind that all women experience at some point in their lifetime, isn’t even a consideration in this context.

OK, also – let’s point out the obvious. Numero uno: Stop punishing the victim! Numero dos: Address the problem; check the Resources section for some companies that offer free or low-cost training on addressing unconscious bias.

But really, this teacher opened himself up to a lawsuit anyway, by opening his bigoted mouth. Because “I wouldn’t hire a woman” is sexism, folks. And it seems to be an all-too common occurrence. While 4% of men are rejected from jobs, women are rejected at nearly double that rate (7%) (source), which is even crazier since women must be more certain that they meet the qualifications of a job posting before they’ll even apply! (We talked about that last week in case you missed it.)

“You’re only liked and get big jobs because you’re something to look at.’ – Never mind I could do big jobs in half the time it took them! Same things when I was promoted to painter – only because I’m something to look at, seems like I can never win! The negative comments have always come from guys my age, never the older techs, but even though it’s hard, it’s definitely worth the bad days.

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
I hate this on so many levels. I hate the fact that she was penalized for advancing. I hate the fact that she’s being relegated to her appearance. And I hate that I’ve bought into this mentality, hundreds if not thousands of times, that women are only valuable for how attractive they are. I’ve already talked about my mean-girl-phobia, but though I don’t consider myself “one of the pretty girls,” I also don’t think I’m hideous – plus I finally taught myself how to paint my face to cover my “flaws” a couple years ago. So, while I know that I’m worth so much more than my face or my body, I also know that the way others perceive me can change based on my appearance. Before taking my car to the shop last month, I took an extra 15 minutes to straighten my hair and slap some makeup on, had to make sure I looked presentable. After all, I had a concern with my car, and going to a shop meant dealing with men. The past few decades’ experience has taught me that men are more apt to pay attention to me if they don’t hate looking at me – no one’s interested in my problems when I assault their eyes in all my pre-caffeinated, troll-like glory!

Toxic masculinity (noun): a cultural concept of manliness that glorifies stoicism, strength, virility, and dominance, and that is socially maladaptive or harmful to mental health: Men and women both suffer when toxic masculinity perpetuates expectations that are restrictive and traumatizing.

There’s so much stupid controversary about this term… We’re going to take a minute here. The term “toxic masculinity” is not an attack against being a man; it’s perfectly fine to enjoy traditionally masculine things! Toxic masculinity is this hyper-machismo version of the “manliness” that some people, both male and female, believe to be indicative of a REAL MAN. “Toxic masculinity isn’t just about behaving like a man. Instead, it involves the extreme pressure some men may feel to act in a way that is actually harmful” (source).

It’s not having a beer with the guys, BBQing, hunting, fishing, growing a beard or enjoying traditionally masculine things. Toxic masculinity is treating women like sex objects. It’s using violence to resolve differences. It’s justifying men’s bad behavior with “boys will be boys.” It’s a denial of having emotions. It’s domestic violence, homophobia, sexism.

So, basically, it’s the idea that, to be a MAN, you have to be the biggest, the strongest, the toughest guy out there. That’s bullshit, and it’s stupid. Here’s some examples of TV characters who demonstrate toxic traits, but if you check it out, you’ll notice that a lot of these guys are pretty likeable – except when they’re not. (Sidenote: “Sex Education” is a really cool teenybopper show that does a great job of addressing toxic masculinity and a lot of other sensitive topics.)
That’s one of the things that people forget when it comes to abusers: T hey can be very charming, which is why it’s so disarming when they’re not. We’re going to talk more about that next week in Sexual Harassment, but back to the topic at-hand.

Toxic masculinity is prevalent in male-dominated industries because when there’s one in a shop, it’s hard for the other guys to voice an objection (we’ll come back to that). But what’s the effect?

Well, Chaya M. Milchtein shared her story in this article (which is definitely worth a read!), but here are some excerpts: “I loved my work, but hated the way my coworkers treated me… It didn’t matter their age, size, or position relative to mine, “baby” was mostly used as a way to infantilize and demean me… Many technicians have nude photographs hanging on their tool boxes. Each time I saw these photographs at work, I felt like a piece of meat—a person to be used sexually, but unworthy of being considered equal in the workplace. These small gestures add up. Women in the automotive repair industry are excluded from what is a boys club. Many leave. By 2018, after working as a service manager for three years at two different shops, I’d had enough. No job was worth the daily sexism.”

You can’t blame her; she’s right. Who wants to spend 40+ hours each week in a place where they’re constantly disrespected? Everyone deserves to be spoken to and treated with dignity!

I was told by my guidance counselor to put on a skirt and heels and go find an office job. Thirty-five years later, I fixed his Lexus at one of my shops, and he hugged me, saying he was never more proud – that I followed my dreams and not his advice.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
One, ew. Skirt and heels? Office job?! Said the writer, I know, I know. But when I wear a skirt and heels, it’s because I choose to do so, not because it’s what I’m “supposed to do” as a woman. Ugh. Can I live? But on the plus side, this guidance counselor seems to have grown and realized the error of his ways – so that’s nice to see, and hopefully, it’s inspiring to some of y’all who aren’t sure that changing your mindset is po ssible. I promise it is. It’s not always easy, and you may falter; we all do at times, but that’s okay – it’s a part of growth. I have thoughts pop into my head that don’t belong to me at times. They belong to a younger me, a me who was less educated, less empathetic, more self-absorbed. Sometimes, she intrudes, and I have to reeducate myself all over again. But I believe in equality, so I believe it’s worth the effort. It’s an ongoing effort, but learning new things can be fun.

Yeah, she did! Yeah, he is! Okay, it’s awesome that she didn’t let her guidance counselor discourage her (though, I personally know that this is one tough lady). And it’s even more awesome that he eventually recognized his previous mistake. We’ve all been wrong; we’ve all changed as we’ve grown.

It’s time for the industry to grow, too. In their September 2020 survey, Deloitte and Automotive News asked over 700 automotive professionals, “Have you seen positive changes in the automotive industry’s attitude toward female professional employees in the last five years?” While 64% of men have seen some/significant positive change, just 39% of women concurred; conversely, 35% of women report little change or worsening conditions, while only 13% of men believe it’s gotten worse.

So, who’s right? Well, who experiences the industry’s attitude toward females? Women do. And regardless of how YOU see it, her perception is her experience and her reality. Do things change, maybe even progress? Sure, thankfully, but slowly. So when things like #metoo happen, most guys check their behavior because they are open to learning (or maybe motivated by fear, but I’ll accept that if it motivates positive change), but while comments may be toned down, the implication is still there… maybe the complaint is now “ugh, chicks” instead of “fucking bitches!” But let’s also please acknowledge that the real bastards out there – they’ve been flying under the radar for years, and they continue to do it because everyone is afraid to call them out.

People often blame their bigotry on “how they were raised,” but that’s a pretty lame excuse. Are you telling me that you’ve never found a better way to do something as you got older? You’ve never found a new tool or new information that helped make you better at something? Of course, you have – you’re a smart person, constantly seeking to improve yourself!

When an old way of doing something no longer serves us best, we unlearn it – and we learn something new. That’s what our society needs to do with sexism (and racism and homophobia and all bigotry). We’re starting here because we need to start somewhere. Because women are half of the population. Unlearn sexism; learn equality. The benefits of equality between the genders are myriad – for everyone.

If you stand for equality, then you’re a feminist. Sorry to tell you.

We cannot talk about women’s rights and experiences without mentioning the rights and experiences of transgender and non-binary people, as well. Reminder: People deserve to be treated with respect. They deserve to be accepted for who they are. They deserve to be safe. They deserve to BE, to exist. Period. If you need to educate yourself on how to be supportive of transgender people, read this or this.

While we have not yet had the opportunity to personally talk to any transgender or non-binary folks in the automotive or skilled labor trades industries (but we would love to – hit us up!!) to share their experiences, a 36-year-old transgender woman (a woman who was assigned male at birth) from Florida shared her introduction to sexism as a female-presenting person. “At the beginning of my transition, I was working in retail, interacting with a lot of customers. Looking from down the aisle back then, I might have just appeared to be a gay emo boy with long hair, form-fitting clothes, and a touch of makeup. However, after months of estrogen, my body shop began to feminize, and my chest had a bit of observable curviness.”

“As that happened, it dawned on me that the ways in which customers called out to get my attention were becoming on average a bit less respectful – I had a sudden first-person awareness of the difference in how women and female-presenting people were treated, compared to men and male-presenting people. When I looked like a girlish boy, I was very rarely talked down to, but now that I looked like a boyish girl, I heard condescending tones more often. It’s odd to me that most people seemed to have no idea they were talking that way,” she said.

“I was simultaneously filled with excitement that I was starting to be seen as the woman I am… as well as a crushing sadness for how society teaches people to talk to women.”

An article published in “TIME” magazine also provides an interesting perspective on sexism, from the eyes of a transgender man (a man who was assigned female at birth).

Exploring how “experiences of trans men can provide a unique window into how gender functions in American society,” writer Charlotte Alter recounted her findings after over two dozen interviews with trans men and activists: “Over and over again, men who were raised and socialized as female described all the ways they were treated differently as soon as the world perceived them as male. They gained professional respect, but lost intimacy. They exuded authority, but caused fear. [They] reiterated how fundamentally different it is to experience the world as a man…Cultural sexism is often more visible to trans men, because most say they find it easier to be low-disclosure than trans women.”

Please, take a second and imagine being in that situation: How would you feel if you were suddenly treated differently by strangers, acquaintances, friends, even family – just because you wanted to be who you already are? Maybe you gained or lost some hair or fat… don’t we all do that during our lifetimes anyway? I’m going to offer a suggestion that will bring you so much peace: S top worrying so much about what other people are doing with their own bodies or in their bedrooms. It’s none of your business.

The TIME article continued: “[Many] had no idea how rough women at work had it until they transitioned. As soon as they came out as men, they found their missteps minimized and their successes amplified. Often, they say, their words carried more weight: They seemed to gain authority and professional respect overnight. They also saw confirmation of the sexist attitudes they had long suspected: They recalled hearing female colleagues belittled by male bosses, or female job applicants called names.”

Others told Alter about male co-workers sexualizing female colleagues when women weren’t present, while James Gardner noted one of the professional benefits of maleness: “I don’t get as many calls to James correcting me. I’m the same person, but the men are less critical of James.”

There’s another side to transitioning though, because as a man, trans men are now viewed as threats. Tiq Milan told Alter: “If I start to get too close, I can feel her fear, I can feel that she’s getting upset. And it’s really just an indication of how dangerous this world is for women.” (If you don’t understand why men are viewed as a threat, check out the final installment of the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skill Labor Trades Industries – Sexual Harassment .)

OK, what is the fourth Dirty Little Secret?

You know that sexism is wrong. You do. And it’s also counterproductive to a healthy working environment. When women work in male-dominated environments, their most common coping mechanisms are “Distancing themselves from colleagues, especially other women; Accepting masculine cultural norms and acting like ‘one of the boys,’ which exacerbates the problem by contributing to the normalization of this culture; [and] Leaving the industry” (source).

Gender discrimination is also illegal, yet it’s prevalent in our society. “While initially these laws primarily protected women in the workplace, they are also designed to protect individuals who are discriminated against because of gender identity, including transgender status, and sexual orientation. In these times when non-heterosexual individuals are provided with the same protections as heterosexuals, equal employment laws apply to them as well” (source).

Now, obviously, sexism isn’t a problem that only impacts the automotive and skilled labor trades industries – it has infested society as a whole. But this is a great industry, filled with great people. We can do better; we can join progress and innovation – something this industry is pretty accustomed to. And we can make a better future – both in the industry and for our children. Sexism has a wide reach and a significant impact – on women and on men, on girls and boys, on everyone.

What can you do?

Educate yourself. It’s 2021, and most people recognize that overt sexism is unacceptable. Learn about subtle and covert sexism. And then acknowledge the damn problem. Treat people the way they deserve to be treated – which includes respecting differences in gender, race, culture, learning or physical ability.

Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it by use.

“Not only can women help to fill the thousands of open positions [in the automotive industry], but they can also become spokespeople and refer friends, family, and community to the career opportunities the automotive industry has to offer. Nude calendars and the bro club aren’t worth keeping women out” (source).

“Regardless of who is the subject of the joke or remark, all workers should be treated equally and deserve respect based on their level of skill and not their gender. Employers should act as advocates of the workplace culture, demonstrating that no form of sexism will be tolerated whether that is an indecent remark, joke or assigning tasks based on ridiculous notions of what a man or woman can do. Employers and management should use their platforms to see that sexism in the workplace becomes a thing of the past, creating a positive outlook for the future of business” (source).

Resources

Not all men. Absolutely not all men. But most men prefer staying silent, rather than challenging other men – but those misogynist men are never going to listen to a woman’s opinion! Here are some tips on how to talk to men about sexism and sexist behavior:
There are many resources available on the topic of sexism which enables you to educate yourself, but if you’re interested in educating your staff so that you’ll be more comfortable hiring a diverse workforce without fear, these companies offer “Unconscious Bias” training that users can access at little to no cost:
Want to read more about how hiring more women can benefit your automotive business?
If you want to learn more about Toxic Masculinity, here are a couple articles to check out:
And here are some organizations that may be able to provide useful information:
If you’re experiencing sex-based discrimination in the workplace, you can file a complaint here.

Who We Be

Jayme and Chasidy are the HBICs (Head Bitch in Charge) of Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, respectively.

Femcanic Garage is “a community of like-minded women in the skilled-trades, automotive, and motorsports industries. Through our shared accomplishments, careers, and dreams, we elevate and empower each other to realize our highest potential. Together, we strive to smash stereotypes and break barriers for women in the industry and evolve the world to see us as the leaders that we are.” To Jayme, Femcanic is all about “creating a global space for women in this industry, an industry a lot of women love.”

Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications is a freelance writing operation that provides content and copywriting, predominantly to the automotive and collision repair industries.

What’s This Got to Do with Either of Us Anyway?

We are women. We are feminists. We think this industry offers awesome career options for some really amazing people, but we also believe that the sexism and misogyny that pervades our society plays a role in some of the automotive industry’s challenges. And we have faith that you can do better.

Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

Feminism (noun): belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests (source).

Note how it says equality, rather than subjugation. Feminists aren’t trying to become the ruling gender; leaders should be elected based on knowledge and skills, including interpersonal “soft” skills, rather than on whether they have a penis or a vagina.

But here’s another perspective on what feminism COULD mean – if gender equality is embraced.

In an industry that accepts women’s equality and promotes diversity, women will no longer feel pressured to become one of the guys to fit in. Each woman will be able to “stop trying to be a second-class man and be a first-class woman.”

Women will be able to own the fact that, yes, we are women, and yes, we are a minority in this industry – but we won’t have to try to be anything other than the woman each of us already is.

What if being a feminist simply meant embracing and falling in love with your own version of femininity? There’s a gentleness that’s often inherent in women, and tragically, it’s frequently suppressed in male-dominated industries where to be a woman is to be “less than.”

But being a woman is a gift, and that softness is part of what makes women so special. Being a badass in the shop doesn’t have to prevent you from showing your heart of gold – and that also applies to men. Men are allowed to have – and express – emotions, too!

Why We’re in Your Face

Inequality hurts ALL people – men, women, black, white, LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual), or heterosexual. It sets up a system where everyone is told what they can do, who they can be, how high they can reach.

So why is no one talking about it? Sure, some people don’t recognize it’s even happening, especially people who’ve never experienced or witnessed it – after all, how do you explain color to the blind, right?

But there’s a larger reason: FEAR. We (as individuals, as women and as people in general) are afraid. We’re afraid of how we’ll be perceived if we call out bad behavior, if we set standards for how we’ll be treated, if we demand equality.

And we’re afraid for good reason. The history books are full of martyrs who stood up for what was right – only to be knocked down and persecuted. No one wants to lose their career because they “can’t take a joke.” Never mind that the joke stopped being funny long ago.

“All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.”

We need to leave our comfort zones - it’s time to BREAK THE SILENCE!

However, that can only happen when women in the industry collectively step into their true and authentic selves, and if WE are too afraid to do it, how can we ask anyone else to take that step?

This series is very personal, for both of us. While planning and laboring over this series, Jayme and I had numerous conversations. We talked through the risks, the fears, the comedy, and the tragedy of it all. The hardest discussion, though, was trying to identify our WHY.

Why ARE we doing this? Why did two busy women (with careers, side hustles, households to support, and occasionally social lives) decide to take time out of their already-hectic lives to research, interview, create graphics, sit on video calls for hours on end, and create content that has caused stress, anxiety, discomfort, lost sleep, tears, nausea… It’d be so much easier to relax on the couch and watch a sitcom!

Jayme’s reason boiled down to this:

My children are the reason for everything I do. As the mother of a son and a daughter, my ultimate purpose is to do what I can to create a world that is safer, better, for them to live in. My job is to protect them, and though I can’t control everything, I need to do what is possible.

The thought of someone treating my child (or anyone I love) in the way that these women have been treated – the idea of them going through that – is unimaginable. This is something I can do.

These topics are still grossly taboo, and the needle needs to move. I can use my community, my skills, my network, my voice, and my passion to do my part – to try to make a difference. This is something I can do.

I’ve dealt with and seen these issues my entire career, and I’ll be damned if my children have to go through the same thing; it’s one thing to hurt me, but it’s another entirely if you hurt my child. But speaking up against injustice sets the right example for my kids. This is something I can do.

Maybe, just maybe, by using my platform, my voice, I can help a woman. Help her prevent a situation or help her understand how to confront it. Maybe this series helps a man understand that the most dangerous thing is silence, and he becomes an ally, speaking up against those other men AND women who verbalize their misogyny. This is something WE can do.

“It is not the intelligent woman v. the ignorant woman; nor the white woman v. the black, the brown, and the red, it is not even the cause of woman v. man. Nay, ‘tis woman’s strongest vindication for speaking that the world needs to hear her voice.”

For me, this is a topic that’s been on my mind for a while – not just in the automotive industry but in general. It’s something I’ve dealt with my entire life – being told what I could do, how to act, what to say, how to dress, how to look, and so on (and on, and on, and on…since 1985).

Like Jayme said, you can hurt me, but there will be hell to pay if you hurt my child. I am not a mother, but I have many children who I consider “mine:” nephews and nieces, a bonus kid, and 14 godchildren, 11 of whom are girls.

A thing happened a couple years ago to one of them. A thing that has happened to many women, and I’ve always known it lurking possibility, even when I was a girl. And though I’m not ready to go into detail, #metoo.

But it felt different when it happened to one of my girls. To find out that a man had put his hands on a child that I consider MINE to protect – twice. A 7-year-old girl, later a 13-year-old girl. A child. My child.

I’ve never felt so much despair, so SO much despair. So helpless, hopeless. Why wasn’t I there? Or her mother, father, grandmother, brother, preacher, teacher, anyone else – why was she alone with a predator?

Then, I got scared. There are well over two dozen girls in my life – my bonus daughter, goddaughters, nieces, friend’s children, etc… Statistically, that means that at least four of them will have the same experience in their lifetime (source). How can that be the world we live in?

Finally, I got angry. And I’ve stayed angry as I’ve watched repeated assaults on equality, on women, on friends, on strangers. As my girls have told me about boys groping them at school, about teachers demeaning them, about men in their 30s and 40s asking teenagers on dates.

I’ve struggled to compose my thoughts, to express this, to speak with my voice. I’ve never had such a hard time writing something, but I’m so glad that Jayme and I decided to collaborate on this. It’s scary, but her courage strengthens me.

For the first time in years, I feel like my voice could possibly do some good; I don’t feel helpless or hopeless. I feel empowered. And I hope you will too.

For too long, we’ve all been waiting – waiting for change, for progress, for permission, for leaders in the automotive industry (and in the world) to finally say, “Enough is enough!”

We’re ready for change NOW – change that benefits women, men, boys and girls – change that will make a better future for all of our children. We are stronger together.

We hope that, through Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skills Trades Industries, we can provide women and men alike with the strength to give themselves permission and to find the courage to share their stories. We can make this industry a more diverse, equitable and inclusive place for everyone. This is something we can all do, together.

With hope and faith in a better future,
Chasidy & Jayme

*The views and opinions expressed in this blog series, Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries, are solely those of the authors, Jayme Blasiman and Chasidy Rae Sisk, and do not reflect the views, opinions or policies of any past, present or future employer, client or any other organization with which Jayme or Chasidy are affiliated.

**Identities of contributing professionals have been concealed to protect the innocent and subsequently the guilty. Provided ages are approximate.

***References to all individuals, organizations or concepts in this series are done provided for informational purposes only. You should not rely upon any information or materials on these pages in making or refraining from making any specific business decision or other decisions. In most cases, we have no affiliation with those mentioned, but in all cases, no compensatory arrangement was made for the reference. Actually, we’re hoping they aren’t mad that we mentioned them! While we believe that the resources, individuals and organizations represent the traits that we admire, that belief is limited to our experience and exposure to them. We take no responsibility or liability for the conduct or content of those entities, their sites, or any offerings made. Additionally, we make no warranty regarding any transactions, products or services executed through or by a third party. All such transactions are conducted entirely at your own risk. Any warranty provided in connection with any of these third party’s offerings or services will be solely provided through said third party, not through Femcanic Garage or Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, LLC.

Chasidy’s unfiltered thoughts – A note:
These are my gut reactions and the part of this collaboration that has given me the most hesitation. I rarely write in my voice – my projects require providing an objective viewpoint or assuming someone else’s voice, so I do my best to avoid interjecting myself into the story. That is not the case in Dirty Little Secrets… you’ll find glimpses of me throughout these blogs; however, these are overt interjections that are me at my rawest, most unfiltered and least PC. They are the thoughts you’d normally only be privy to if we were kicked back on my couch with a glass of wine in hand. So the professional in me apologizes, but the woman who believes in equality – well, she knows that my embarrassment is worthwhile if it makes just one person second-guess a previously unfair practice. Thank you for tolerating my snark.

Bonus Content

“At my interview as a painter, I was told “I just don’t think a body shop is a place for a woman; they’re better off in the office.” He didn’t hire me, but when he called me back a year later, I went – there weren’t many body shops hiring in my area. He hired me as a helper but wanted to move me to the office eventually. He was a good guy but sucked to work for. I didn’t get paid squat, and he always made me feel like trash if I messed anything up – I was expected to be like the guys with years and years of experience, even though I had only been doing it for a short time. I never regretted working there because I got a lot of good experience, and it made me appreciate my new shop that much more.”
“I have only good things to say about the older techs in the shop; I’ve always been treated equally and with respect, like everyone else. I’m always given opportunities to help out, and they’re always willing to teach me new things. I am so happy with my choice of working in the trade! The only negative things I’ve ever run into is with the guys around my age – there’s a lot of jealousy and just negativity when I succeed or get along with the older techs.”
“I used to work at a shop that was owned by a woman and then her son took over, and it was 100% supportive and treated men and women equally. I can’t say the same for the customers, but we always had ownership’s backing when we needed it. Now I work at a shop that is probably better than most, but there is definitely some subtle sexism, such as there only being a men’s bathroom in the shop, the guys referring to other men as “chicks” when they are being dramatic, and resistance to hiring females in the shop because they might not “fit in.”
I’ve received hundreds of supportive and encouraging comments. They tell me I’m making the difference, that I’m amazing at my job. When I was offered a position during a job interview, they told me, “Out of everyone here, your skills are beyond a value we can compensate you for, but we will try.”

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers 🥂 to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them here.

If the jobs are there, what’s stopping women from applying for them? That’s why we’re here – the dirtiest little secret of all. But it’s not really all that secret, is it? They are the buzzwords everywhere; they’re needed in every industry. Diversity. Equity. Inclusion. These are scary thoughts, but we promise to take it slow and break it down.

Diversity is just variety, and a little change never hurt anyone, right? Right. Equity means fair and impartial, easy enough. OK, and here’s the big one that we get stuck on. Inclusion is equal access to opportunities and resources. That’s it.

And let’s clear up one common misconception that’s pretty irking:

Including women doesn’t mean excluding men. The whole point of inclusion is INCLUDING EVERYONE, regardless of gender, race, religion, or anything else that is completely unrelated to someone’s ability to perform their job functions.

Well, my company has this covered – we hire women, and we treat our girls right! (+1 cool point if you recognize the subliminal sexism in this statement!)

You’re in the majority in that assumption. In fact, only 78% of men in the automotive industry believe that a lack of diversity, equity and inclusion “prevent people from considering a career in the automotive industry;” however, 64% of women disagree, making this the most common explanation they see for a lack of interest in automotive – more prohibitive than income, promotion opportunities, or any other dissuading factor (source).

But that’s just the perception, not the reality! She would tell me if…

If you’re still having doubts that you should be concerned about this issue, check out these stats:

When asked if they would stay in automotive if they were starting their career today, 45% of surveyed women said they would choose a different path (source). And unfortunately, she probably wouldn’t tell you if she’s uncomfortable or facing discrimination – although 90% of women indicate the industry’s bias towards men negatively impacts diversity (source), few women talk about the misogyny and sexism they’ve faced because they fear repercussions – demotions, unpleasant assignments or treatment, even job loss.

But if she talked, we’d listen. She just has to speak up!

Even speaking up can be an issue in the male-female dynamic. Women who express their discontent are generally dismissed, especially in situations when they are outnumbered by men.

Best case scenario: We’re accused of being emotional, bossy, too aggressive.

Worst case scenario: We are called a bitch, told to go bleed, even physically assaulted.

I’m feeling attacked here.

Welcome to our world! But seriously, buddy, we don’t think you’re a bad guy (????but if you ARE a misogynistic ass – fight me, my dude ????). Honestly, you’re probably a great friend, loving partner/parent, and maybe you even genuinely respect the women in your life. But you can’t know what you don’t know – you haven’t experienced the pains of being a woman any more than women have experienced the pain of being kicked in the ‘nads.

But seriously, aren’t things better? Have we made progress on equality? Sure! Thankfully, things ARE better than they were 50 years ago, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago.

But does that mean the problem is gone? Not yet.

If you install one or two tires on a car, how far will it go? Not very – but luckily, the automotive and skilled labor trades industries are pretty accustomed to constant technological advances, so we believe that you can translate that same diligence to social advances!

Welcome to the adventure!

Part 3- Stereotypes: Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skilled Trades Industries

Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries

A Five-Part Series

Brought to you by Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications*

Content/Trigger Warning:
This series will address issues that may be traumatic for some readers – Contains graphic language and references toverbal abuse, misogyny, homophobia, violence & sexual assault

Comedian George Carlin said, “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

That’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes, isn’t it? Compare a male and female of any other species on the planet… Sure, there are some biological differences – like a male dog humping everything in sight – but when the doorbell rings, a dog barks at the door, regardless of its genitals.

People, though… Well, we’re different from other species. Men and women respond differently to their environments (have you ever watched a sappy movie with your partner?), and they also have some different needs. But folks of both genders have a lot of similarities as well: They want to be liked, accepted and respected.

Here’s why you give a damn: Women held just 23.6% of jobs in the motor vehicles and motor vehicles equipment manufacturing industry in 2019 (source). Even more damning? Only 1% of positions for collision repair technicians and 1.4% of automotive service technician positions were filled by women.

And it’s not because women can’t do the job – I mean, seriously, have you seen some of these badasses?!

An industry in desperate need of qualified technicians and other personnel cannot afford to alienate half the population right out of the gate!

To celebrate Women’s History Month, we’re giving you some insights into the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries. We hope you’ll stick around for the ride – learn a little, laugh a little and hopefully find something that resonates!

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers 🥂 to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them at the bottom of this post .

And hey ladies – although this is addressed to the men for simplicity’s sake, this isn’t merely a “men” problem. There’s a lot of girl-on-girl crime going on in this industry (you get extra cool points if you get the reference)… as women, we can all do a better job of supporting one another. “Just laugh it off” only ensures that our daughters and even granddaughters are still dealing with the same bullshit – and they don’t have our sense of humor! They’re already fed up; they were BORN fed up.

In honor of Women’s History Month, Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications are partnering each Wednesday in March to bring you the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Labor Trades Industries.

This series features many voices, not just ours. Women in the automotive industry have graciously shared their stories**, and we’ve done our best to bring as much information and resources together as possible. We want to dive into those real, raw, taboo topics – the subjects that make you shush your friends if they speak too loudly in public – and we’ll share them through text, audio and imagery because people are diverse and everyone digests information differently – and that’s okay!

We’ll share our thoughts, too, because we want you to understand: This isn’t just a “them” problem, an “over there” problem – it’s a problem impacting you, impacting ALL of us, a problem that’s taking place RIGHT HERE, everywhere, and if we don’t break out of our comfort zones and start talking about these not-so-sexy secrets, nothing will ever change.

But more importantly, we’ll add our voices to the many women who’ve shared their stories because we owe them that. We owe them the added strength of our voices – we are stronger together, and unless we begin to address this as an industry and as a society, our daughters will be sharing these same stories 20 years down the road. We welcome you to this journey and are so excited you’ve decided to join us – women and other minorities need the support of strong allies and industry leadership to solve these problems.

DLS Calendar – Revised 3.14.21

Other industries have made significant strides when it comes to tackling similar concerns, proving that improvement IS possible. We believe it’s past time for the automotive and skilled labor trades industries to have this conversation.

Now, buckle up for a whirlwind of misplaced gender roles, disturbing tales from the frontlines, and a good hearty helping of brutal honesty. But before we dive in, a quick note to the gents and the ladies…

Men: We understand that you’re probably a little reluctant to confront this, and it’s awesome that you’re still with us – we promise we aren’t here to attack you. Now, we may challenge some ideas that that have been instilled in you and offer suggestions you haven’t considered, but it’s coming from a place of love and faith that you’re open, that you’re ready to have this conversation, that you’re prepared to participate in making this world a better place for all people. We know you have only the best intentions, but who hasn’t unintentionally offended someone? Let’s talk about some things you may not have thought of before and how these “women’s rights” issues impact you, too!

Women: For those of you who have faced gender discrimination or any of discrimination’s other ugly faces, we are here with you. We hear you. We see you. We believe you. To the rest of you, we know that not every woman feels oppressed – and we’re glad if you’re among that demographic. Keep on rocking! But a diamond doesn’t shine any less brightly because it’s surrounded by other diamonds… Help one another. Mentor each other. Let’s support ALL the badass women in the automotive and skilled labor trades industries!

Assumed Ignorance: Let a Man Show You How to Do Your Job

Part 3 of 5

Hey Tim, do you need a little help?” Cindy asked. Tim was just performing a simple tire change – something he’d done thousands of times. Although Cindy was the shop manager, Tim had been working in shops a decade longer than she had, so he assured his less-experienced co-worker that he had everything under control. “Tim… If you use this wrench… No, position the jack over here… That lug nut needs to be a little tighter.”

“Enough!” Tim thought. “I don’t need some little girl who knows nothing telling me how to do MY job!” What he actually said? Nothing. He did exactly as he was told, like a good boy.

Aw, Tim didn’t enjoy the mansplaining, huh?

Mansplain (verb): to explain something to a woman in a condescending way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic (source).

Unsolicited advice about how to do your job can be pretty annoying, especially when your experience and knowledge surpasses your “instructor.” Look guys – unless you’d like women to assume your beer belly (or big nose or small hands) makes you impotent, stop assuming that women are stupid or incompetent just because we have vaginas!

The assumption that women are less knowledgeable is a kind of stereotype, which we discussed last week. And actually, this is a stereotype that is most often thrown at young women – and even young men. Which is crazy since younger generations are more tech-savvy after having grown up with computers. When a person is treated like they’re stupid frequently enough, they eventually internalize that belief. They question their intelligence, their value. This often happens subconsciously, impacting their self-confidence and even leading to reduced performance.

“Women can be beautiful and smart. They just choose to play down their intelligence so they can survive and get along with others during the times in history when women didn’t have equal rights, couldn’t speak out, and were considered property.”

For women in the automotive and skilled labor trades industries, being treated as less intelligent than, or inferior to, men is a pathetically common occurrence. Nearly 60% of surveyed women reported feeling they’d had their “professional influence and credibility undermined by colleagues because of [their] gender,” and 65% have been asked to perform lower-level tasks, such as note-taking or ordering food, that male peers are not asked to do. Nearly 83% admitted that clients and colleagues question their male peers on matters that should be directed to the female professional instead (source).

Now, we aren’t trying to lay a guilt trip on you – we’ve all had a thought (or quite a few of them) that we were ashamed to say out loud. But even when we don’t verbalize them, those thoughts can manifest in our actions and our interactions, often influencing others without our awareness. We’ve done it.

Well, I just took a break from editing this – today was a great day to take a ride on Ronnie, my ’96 Harley Sportster. I’m not a winter rider; I’m a wimp when it comes to cold weather. So I’d forgotten the looks I get. I just rode around my neighborhood a bit (it’s still cool and windy enough that I have no desire to deal with the chill at 50+ mph). Besides the fact that everyone in their yards stared, and ignoring the kudos I received from another woman at the gas station for “riding like a man” since I know it was intended as a compliment… One guy was so busy staring that he would have hit Ronnie (and me, of course) if I hadn’t swerved. A couple blocks over, a little girl on a bicycle was so engrossed with the sight of a female rider that SHE nearly got ran over. Can we just normalize women doing whatever the fuck they want to do, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone else? Please? With sprinkles?

Women perpetually prove themselves capable, intelligent and strong. Yet, her ideas are discounted, she’s assigned menial tasks, and each day, she shrinks; she’s less likely to share her insights, no longer eager to learn and grow. What valuable inventions and process improvements never come to fruition – are never even uttered! – due to all the times she’s been shut down in the past?

Bertha Benz-- "She believed in more than a car. She believed in herself!"

Without Margaret A. Wilcox, we wouldn’t have the car heater. Bertha Benz designed the first brake pads. Manual windshield wipers were created by Mary Anderson, and movie star Florence Lawrence invented the turn signal – can we say brains and beauty?! And don’t forget who led the design team for the Acura NSX: Michelle Christensen.

So, women obviously have some great ideas in those pretty brains of theirs, but when women often feel stifled, most of those innovations never see the light of day. If you encouraged the women around you to reveal their thoughts in a productive way and you actually took those thoughts into consideration –
How much ingenuity could you tap into?

We were painting stripes on a Mustang, and something wasn’t working right. I recommended a solution TWICE and was met with lackluster enthusiasm, no action. One of the guys recommended exactly what I had been saying, and suddenly it was the best idea ever! Surprise…it worked!”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
OMG, my absolute FAVORITE thing ever is when I’m ignored & then a man repeats my thought – and is lauded as a damn genius. “I guess him just speak them words much more better than me poorly can.” OK, that was physically painful and cringey AF to type, so no, that’s not accurate; that just ain’t it. Men are not inherently smarter than women any more than women are inherently kinder than men. Dudes can be dumbasses, and ladies can be bitches (for the record, either description can also be reversed and apply to either gender). That’s the truth. It’s about the individual person, not about their gender. And guess what? That dude who recommended what our Tennessee gal said twice, not once but TWICE… Y’all ain’t even gonna believe this – but he knew it wasn’t his idea. But it was obviously a good idea, and he heard her, possibly even both times. Let me tell ya how he could have won-won this situation – as soon as everyone agreed what a great idea it was, he could have just tacked on, “Tennessee over here said that a minute ago, but I think I’m the only one who heard her.” Look at that, credit given without being confrontational.

Okay, you know you’ve been there. In that exact situation. You recommend the perfect solution, and nobody pays a bit of attention, maybe they don’t even acknowledge you. Five minutes later, maybe ten, someone else regurgitates your idea. Slightly reworded sure, but you’d think they invented the wheel based on how the rest of the group acts. It’s frustrating as hell, ain’t it?

“A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man. An intelligent woman gives up.”

I know I sound like a broken record here, but being a broken record is better than breaking something or someone, right? Women have a different viewpoint, so they offer a different perspective! Yet, 23% of women report being treated like they’re incompetent in the workplace, 10% are passed over for key projects, and 7% are rejected from jobs. This compares to men at 6%, 5%, and 4%, respectively (source).

Age definitely plays a factor as well – for both genders, but more so for women. Jayme has already explained how demeaning it is when grown women are constantly referred to as “girls,” but it goes beyond the mere words into the infantilization of women. That’s a whole subject of its own, but here’s a study that explores the topic in detail.

We, as men, as women, as an industry, as a society, need to stop treating “different” as “bad,” “stupid,” and “inferior.” We CAN do better, and it’s time to do better! And if you still believe words aren’t important… guess you have nothing to be upset about anyway – these are just words, after all. 😝

“A customer actually told my boss to help me replace a taillight because he didn’t like a “girl” working on his car. He even asked, ‘Does she actually know what she’s doing?’ My boss told him I’d be fine. “

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
Well, I ranted quite effectively on the last one, and now, as I feel rage boiling inside me for what I logically know isn’t uncommon, isn’t really THAT offensive… I realize that I should have started by explaining that this is a sensitive topic for me. My intelligence is something I pride myself on. Now, I’m not the smartest person in most rooms, but I can generally hold my own. And in a room where I’m completely incompetent, I have no problem admitting that I’m there to learn. When I think of disrespect, it’s people treating me like I’m stupid. Of all the hurtful things loved ones have said, one of the worst was when one of the men I love most called me “a silly little girl” when we disagreed; I was in my twenties. So yeah, I seriously HATE being treated like I’m stupid. But it was a common occurrence when I was younger. In high school, I was a cheerleader. I was a busty cheerleader, so essentially, most people assumed I was a “dumb slut.” I was neither. Even the people who knew me pretty well, my friends, considered me average intellectually. I remember arguing with a close friend because I had tested into higher level classes; another was shocked when she realized we were neck-and-neck on our GPA. Both of those were female friends. We women discount one another a lot, too. If men are ever going to respect us, we need to start respecting ourselves and each other, ladies. This isn’t a competition.

This is a man’s world. Women can’t do this job. You’re not strong enough, tall enough, butch enough, smart enough, good enough. Enough… ENOUGH! Possessing vaginas does not make women incapable, and it surely doesn’t diminish their intelligence. But since we’ve already gone there, a question for the men: How often does your smaller brain wrest power from the one on top of your shoulders?

“An intelligent woman has millions of born enemies… all the stupid men.”

Although it’s a common assumption that women are less intelligent than men, research proves otherwise. A study published by Cambridge indicates “that there are no overall (average) differences between women and men in general intelligence, but there are some large and persistent differences on cognitive abilities that on average favor males (e.g. mathematics, mental rotation, mechanical) or favor females (verbal ability, most tests of memory).”

So, yes, male and female brains DO differ in some ways. A study conducted by the University of California, Irvine indicated that a man’s brain has around 6.5 times the amount of gray matter contained in a woman’s brain, while a women’s brain boasts 9 times a male brain’s white matter. This means that women and men process information differently (source).

According to the Harvard Business Review, “Because gray matter characterizes information processing centers and white matter facilitates the connections among those centers, scientists theorize that those differences might explain why men tend to excel in tasks that depend on sheer processing while women show relative strength in tasks that call for assimilating and integrating disparate pieces of information… neither brain type performs better than the other on broad measures of cognitive ability such as intelligence tests. The differences, however, have implications for how decisions are made.”

We’ve often heard the statistic that men will apply for a job if they meet 60% of the posting’s qualifications, but women refrain unless they meet 100% of the employer’s prerequisites. (Read more about the reasons here.) Similarly, women demand a higher level of certainty before acting, while men are more prone to taking risks when stressed (source), so when a woman hesitates, she’s simply processing the information to get to the level of certainty she needs – that short pause doesn’t have any damn correlation to her competence. Because if she can’t do it, she’s going to let you know (as long as you haven’t created an environment where she feels uncomfortable doing that)!

“While doing a full set of wheels and tyre changes, a gentlemen said, ‘Let me show you.’ Now, I’ve done this many times, and I wasn’t struggling, didn’t need help – and when I told him, ‘I’ve got it,’ he informed me, ‘You shouldn’t be doing this – I don’t know why they sent you. They should have sent a man. This isn’t a job for you.’ I know that their comments are more a reflection of themselves and their beliefs than it is a reflection of me… Realising that makes it easier to shrug off.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
I’m sorry… Are y’all men using your dicks to jack up cars for tire changes now, or as the dipstick in an oil change? Nah? Then why the hell shouldn’t a woman be changing tires or anything else? That’s the only equipment y’all have that she doesn’t. Sidenote: If you CAN perform vehicle maintenance with your cock, I’m pretty sure you can make a killing on OnlyFans. No, please don’t send us the link. But, seriously, I don’t know how many ways I can say that my vagina doesn’t tell me what I should be doing, what I like (excepting partners, though sometimes my vag gets overruled by my brain, thankfully), or anything else.

You wouldn’t offer to help a dentist examine your teeth, and if you’re doublechecking your accountant’s math, it’s probably time to find a new number-cruncher. Yet, teeth are teeth, and math is the same in every language. Each manufacturer, each model, each year of vehicle necessitates a different set of data. Automotive industry professionals must have at least as much ─ and I personally believe this industry requires MORE ─ knowledge and training as most other professionals; they’ve been bombarded by ever-changing technologies for as long as most of us can remember.

Automotive is a STEM career (Science, Technology, Engineering & Mathematics, in case you’ve been living under a rock, and working in automotive requires all four to varying extents). And as electric vehicles and autonomous driving technology become more common, those advances are only going to come faster. 

This means that it is a highly specialized and skilled industry, so when someone – whether male or female ─ has obtained the skillset needed to perform repairs on these complex vehicles, they damn well know what they are doing.
“When I was working at the quick lube, this oil change customer was being disrespectful to our female service advisor, demanding to speak to a man because ‘women aren’t qualified’ and telling her she ‘should not be doing a man’s job.’ He made her cry! My supervisor was very upset so he asked me to do the oil change – which the customer could see through the huge windows looking into the lube pit from the waiting area. I was glad to do it, alone – I hope that burned him.””

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
Let me spit some wisdom at y’all, courtesy of my godson. I think it was his 13th birthday, maybe his 14th, but on the way to the gun range, I was explaining why I don’t buy my ammo at a certain establishment (I literally had to have a man vouch for me before they would show me a Springfield XDS .45; they offered me a fucking .22). This sweet, perfect barely-a-teenager looked at me as indignantly as I’d ever seen him look and said, “But Aunt Chas, why does it matter if you’re a girl? They’re stupid to act like that. Girls can like guns, too; they can like anything, just like boys can like anything. Right?” That kid inspires me all the time.❤️

We’ve all heard of the glass ceiling, but many women never get to experience that worry; barriers to advancement start at the bottom with the “sticky floor,” a term which is “used to describe a discriminatory employment pattern that keeps a certain group of people at the bottom of the job scale… Close to half of working women (compared to one-sixth of working men) hold clerical or service jobs which are often associated with the ‘sticky floor’ (source). You can learn more about this form of inequality and its impact here.

“My paint instructor in college told me I’d never be able to paint well or get anywhere in the industry because I’m female. I busted my ass, qualified for SkillsUSA Nationals – twice – and came back with silver in post-secondary refinish my second year, and I have since had two jobs as the only painter. His words pushed me to prove him wrong – an instructor certainly should not be saying things like that.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
At least she has some balls. (Ok, I hesitated just a sec on that one because I know that Jayme has some thoughts on that phrase.) Thankfully, there are women who push past the taunts, the degradation, the complete and utter bullshit. If there weren’t, we wouldn’t have women in the automotive or skilled labor trades. These are the women who brush it off, who hold their head up despite all the rumors and jokes. She’s strong, she’s formidable. And we are in absolute awe of her. But here’s the thing – she shouldn’t HAVE to be that strong! Also, it’s a miracle we still have young women entering the trades at all when we see so much of this discriminatory behavior coming from teachers. When the industry told you to “shape young minds,” this wasn’t what they meant. Like seriously, just stop. Stop treating people like this. Stop treating women like this.
“Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women.”

OK, so you know how the automotive industry needs more technicians? Well, their career path begins with obtaining an education that will allow them to enter a shop with the skills necessary to safely repair vehicles. If their instructor, the person providing that education (which puts them in a mentorship position, FYI), demeans their attempts and tells them they don’t belong – based on their gender, not their abilities ─ well, how much strength would you need to disregard the belief of a mentor who didn’t believe you were good enough?

Ladies, we’re mainly talking to you here (but guys, don’t tune out, it still applies!): It is vital that we support the women that walk beside us. Mentorship is critical to career success, yet this survey indicates that 63% of women have never had a formal mentor – generally because they don’t ask. And the same study shows that, contrary to popular cat-fighting beliefs, most women choose to mentor because they want to support other women (80%). Here’s why female mentors are so important.

Hey guys, hope you’re still paying attention because women need male mentors – just as much as men need female mentors. Men and women offer different strengths and weaknesses. Want to know why? Because different people have a variety of things to offer, and whether someone is a man or a woman, you CAN learn something from them if you’re open-minded enough to accept their feedback.

Seriously, I’ve been mentored by so many amazing men AND women, even boys and girls. Everyone is so beautifully unique, and if you actually listen to them, learn from them, you get to keep a little bit of that wisdom for yourself. And to be fair, I’ve never asked anyone to mentor me; most of the people I consider mentors probably have no idea that’s the case. Thank you to everyone who has taught me, inspired me and believed in me over the years.

Not surprisingly, mentoring women helps them advance in leadership positions, an important effort for the industry as a whole since, according to Automotive News, “Studies have shown that companies with diverse leadership teams are eight times more likely to have better business outcomes, six times more likely to be innovative and agile, and 21 percent more likely to outperform on profitability when in the top quartile for gender diversity. Cultural, gender and demographic diversity will make a difference in the long-term success of the auto industry.”

Some more valuable information from the Deloitte and Automotive News study: “An organization’s ability to drive change around DE&I starts with leadership, which can be challenging when 70% of women believe minorities are underrepresented in their company’s senior management team. Recognize the benefits of diversity, equity, and inclusion: A stronger commitment to creating a diverse leadership team may also lead to tangible benefits, including more holistic decision-making and improved financial performance. Provide a clear path to advancement: Mentorship is critical as 60% of women are targeting a senior management position in their career, but only two-thirds of them see a clear path to get there (compared with 75% of men). Learn from other industries: The top two destinations for women who said they would choose a different industry if they started their career today are high tech (30%) and health care (20%), as they are perceived as leading sectors for attracting and retaining a diverse workforce.”

OK, what is the third Dirty Little Secret?

The Automotive and Skilled Labor Trades Industries are just that – SKILLED! Women require just as many SKILLS to perform the job as men do. And they’ve worked just as hard, if not harder, to get to where they are today.

Assuming that a woman is ignorant or stupid just because she’s not a man isn’t half as funny as this joke (which we acknowledge is sexist but is way less triggering than most sexist jokes about women): Why does the doctor smack babies on the butt after they are born?
A: To make sure the dicks get knocked off the smart ones.

We previously pointed out that assumed ignorance is a subcategory of stereotyping, and last week, we shared a lot of information about why stereotyping is so harmful – both for the individual and the industry as a whole.

And in case you missed it: Stereotyping is dangerous. Your belief about a person influences what you think about them, how you feel about them, and ultimately, how you treat them. And that can impact how they feel about themselves, possibly affecting their performance as well as their mental health. If left unchecked, stereotyping transforms into a stepping-stone, creating a path to discrimination and bigotry.

Mentor women. Mentor men too. Mentor girls, mentor boys. The point? This industry needs fresh blood, and new employees – in any position, in any industry – need guidance. In the automotive and skilled labor industries, women are less likely to receive that guidance. Yeah, we saw earlier that a large reason for that is that she just doesn’t ask. We acknowledge that women cause some of our own problems – but can you really say that men don’t do the same?! (And if you’re thinking, “they don’t,” I counter: “HA!”)

But leaving that squirrel alone, now that we know women are less likely to ask for mentors, why not offer to mentor a new female co-worker or student. Or even better, ask a more tenured female to mentor you (this is addressed to men and women)!

Although we aren’t going to dive into this in-depth because it could be a series of its own, I want to take a second to stress the importance of supporting the next generation by working with students at local high schools and colleges – this is the FUTURE of your industry, folks! In the automotive world, check out the Collision Repair Education Foundation or the TechForce Foundation for more information on how you can get involved.)

Guys: You know the drill. Support women – speak up when you see this type of discrimination; that’s how you become an ally. And if you’re an ally (or want to learn more), keep reading for more ways you can support women. But we want to support y’all too by providing a little something just for the guys who’ve stuck with us…

Women are typically assumed to be stupid, but men are assumed to be emotionless. Boys don’t cry. Man up. Stop acting like a girl. We talked about that stereotype a little last week, and we wanted to provide some possible reading materials if you’re interested in a little self-empowerment of your own.

Women: There are lots of great “for women” groups and organizations out there where you can find a mentor, often in a low-key, less intimidating virtual world (especially in today’s environment). A quick Google search of your interest, followed by the word “women,” should yield contact information for other women in your field, possibly even organizations or associations dedicated to advancing women’s careers.

Who We Be

Jayme and Chasidy are the HBICs (Head Bitch in Charge) of Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, respectively.

Femcanic Garage is “a community of like-minded women in the skilled-trades, automotive, and motorsports industries. Through our shared accomplishments, careers, and dreams, we elevate and empower each other to realize our highest potential. Together, we strive to smash stereotypes and break barriers for women in the industry and evolve the world to see us as the leaders that we are.” To Jayme, Femcanic is all about “creating a global space for women in this industry, an industry a lot of women love.”

Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications is a freelance writing operation that provides content and copywriting, predominantly to the automotive and collision repair industries.

What’s This Got to Do with Either of Us Anyway?

We are women. We are feminists. We think this industry offers awesome career options for some really amazing people, but we also believe that the sexism and misogyny that pervades our society plays a role in some of the automotive industry’s challenges. And we have faith that you can do better.

Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

Feminism (noun): belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests (source).

Note how it says equality, rather than subjugation. Feminists aren’t trying to become the ruling gender; leaders should be elected based on knowledge and skills, including interpersonal “soft” skills, rather than on whether they have a penis or a vagina.

But here’s another perspective on what feminism COULD mean – if gender equality is embraced.

In an industry that accepts women’s equality and promotes diversity, women will no longer feel pressured to become one of the guys to fit in. Each woman will be able to “stop trying to be a second-class man and be a first-class woman.”

Women will be able to own the fact that, yes, we are women, and yes, we are a minority in this industry – but we won’t have to try to be anything other than the woman each of us already is.

What if being a feminist simply meant embracing and falling in love with your own version of femininity? There’s a gentleness that’s often inherent in women, and tragically, it’s frequently suppressed in male-dominated industries where to be a woman is to be “less than.”

But being a woman is a gift, and that softness is part of what makes women so special. Being a badass in the shop doesn’t have to prevent you from showing your heart of gold – and that also applies to men. Men are allowed to have – and express – emotions, too!

Why We’re in Your Face

Inequality hurts ALL people – men, women, black, white, LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual), or heterosexual. It sets up a system where everyone is told what they can do, who they can be, how high they can reach.

So why is no one talking about it? Sure, some people don’t recognize it’s even happening, especially people who’ve never experienced or witnessed it – after all, how do you explain color to the blind, right?

But there’s a larger reason: FEAR. We (as individuals, as women and as people in general) are afraid. We’re afraid of how we’ll be perceived if we call out bad behavior, if we set standards for how we’ll be treated, if we demand equality.

And we’re afraid for good reason. The history books are full of martyrs who stood up for what was right – only to be knocked down and persecuted. No one wants to lose their career because they “can’t take a joke.” Never mind that the joke stopped being funny long ago.

“All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.”

We need to leave our comfort zones - it’s time to BREAK THE SILENCE!

However, that can only happen when women in the industry collectively step into their true and authentic selves, and if WE are too afraid to do it, how can we ask anyone else to take that step?

This series is very personal, for both of us. While planning and laboring over this series, Jayme and I had numerous conversations. We talked through the risks, the fears, the comedy, and the tragedy of it all. The hardest discussion, though, was trying to identify our WHY.

Why ARE we doing this? Why did two busy women (with careers, side hustles, households to support, and occasionally social lives) decide to take time out of their already-hectic lives to research, interview, create graphics, sit on video calls for hours on end, and create content that has caused stress, anxiety, discomfort, lost sleep, tears, nausea… It’d be so much easier to relax on the couch and watch a sitcom!

Jayme’s reason boiled down to this:

My children are the reason for everything I do. As the mother of a son and a daughter, my ultimate purpose is to do what I can to create a world that is safer, better, for them to live in. My job is to protect them, and though I can’t control everything, I need to do what is possible.

The thought of someone treating my child (or anyone I love) in the way that these women have been treated – the idea of them going through that – is unimaginable. This is something I can do.

These topics are still grossly taboo, and the needle needs to move. I can use my community, my skills, my network, my voice, and my passion to do my part – to try to make a difference. This is something I can do.

I’ve dealt with and seen these issues my entire career, and I’ll be damned if my children have to go through the same thing; it’s one thing to hurt me, but it’s another entirely if you hurt my child. But speaking up against injustice sets the right example for my kids. This is something I can do.

Maybe, just maybe, by using my platform, my voice, I can help a woman. Help her prevent a situation or help her understand how to confront it. Maybe this series helps a man understand that the most dangerous thing is silence, and he becomes an ally, speaking up against those other men AND women who verbalize their misogyny. This is something WE can do.

“It is not the intelligent woman v. the ignorant woman; nor the white woman v. the black, the brown, and the red, it is not even the cause of woman v. man. Nay, ‘tis woman’s strongest vindication for speaking that the world needs to hear her voice.”

For me, this is a topic that’s been on my mind for a while – not just in the automotive industry but in general. It’s something I’ve dealt with my entire life – being told what I could do, how to act, what to say, how to dress, how to look, and so on (and on, and on, and on…since 1985).

Like Jayme said, you can hurt me, but there will be hell to pay if you hurt my child. I am not a mother, but I have many children who I consider “mine:” nephews and nieces, a bonus kid, and 14 godchildren, 11 of whom are girls.

A thing happened a couple years ago to one of them. A thing that has happened to many women, and I’ve always known it lurking possibility, even when I was a girl. And though I’m not ready to go into detail, #metoo.

But it felt different when it happened to one of my girls. To find out that a man had put his hands on a child that I consider MINE to protect – twice. A 7-year-old girl, later a 13-year-old girl. A child. My child.

I’ve never felt so much despair, so SO much despair. So helpless, hopeless. Why wasn’t I there? Or her mother, father, grandmother, brother, preacher, teacher, anyone else – why was she alone with a predator?

Then, I got scared. There are well over two dozen girls in my life – my bonus daughter, goddaughters, nieces, friend’s children, etc… Statistically, that means that at least four of them will have the same experience in their lifetime (source). How can that be the world we live in?

Finally, I got angry. And I’ve stayed angry as I’ve watched repeated assaults on equality, on women, on friends, on strangers. As my girls have told me about boys groping them at school, about teachers demeaning them, about men in their 30s and 40s asking teenagers on dates.

I’ve struggled to compose my thoughts, to express this, to speak with my voice. I’ve never had such a hard time writing something, but I’m so glad that Jayme and I decided to collaborate on this. It’s scary, but her courage strengthens me.

For the first time in years, I feel like my voice could possibly do some good; I don’t feel helpless or hopeless. I feel empowered. And I hope you will too.

For too long, we’ve all been waiting – waiting for change, for progress, for permission, for leaders in the automotive industry (and in the world) to finally say, “Enough is enough!”

We’re ready for change NOW – change that benefits women, men, boys and girls – change that will make a better future for all of our children. We are stronger together.

We hope that, through Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skills Trades Industries, we can provide women and men alike with the strength to give themselves permission and to find the courage to share their stories. We can make this industry a more diverse, equitable and inclusive place for everyone. This is something we can all do, together.

With hope and faith in a better future,
Chasidy & Jayme

*The views and opinions expressed in this blog series, Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries, are solely those of the authors, Jayme Blasiman and Chasidy Rae Sisk, and do not reflect the views, opinions or policies of any past, present or future employer, client or any other organization with which Jayme or Chasidy are affiliated.

**Identities of contributing professionals have been concealed to protect the innocent and subsequently the guilty. Provided ages are approximate.

***References to all individuals, organizations or concepts in this series are done provided for informational purposes only. You should not rely upon any information or materials on these pages in making or refraining from making any specific business decision or other decisions. In most cases, we have no affiliation with those mentioned, but in all cases, no compensatory arrangement was made for the reference. Actually, we’re hoping they aren’t mad that we mentioned them! While we believe that the resources, individuals and organizations represent the traits that we admire, that belief is limited to our experience and exposure to them. We take no responsibility or liability for the conduct or content of those entities, their sites, or any offerings made. Additionally, we make no warranty regarding any transactions, products or services executed through or by a third party. All such transactions are conducted entirely at your own risk. Any warranty provided in connection with any of these third party’s offerings or services will be solely provided through said third party, not through Femcanic Garage or Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, LLC.

Chasidy’s unfiltered thoughts – A note:

These are my gut reactions and the part of this collaboration that has given me the most hesitation. I rarely write in my voice – my projects require providing an objective viewpoint or assuming someone else’s voice, so I do my best to avoid interjecting myself into the story.

That is not the case in Dirty Little Secrets… you’ll find glimpses of me throughout these blogs; however, these are overt interjections that are me at my rawest, most unfiltered and least PC. They are the thoughts you’d normally only be privy to if we were kicked back on my couch with a glass of wine in hand. So the professional in me apologizes, but the woman who believes in equality – well, she knows that my embarrassment is worthwhile if it makes just one person second-guess a previously unfair practice. Thank you for tolerating my snark.

Bonus Content

“At my interview as a painter, I was told “I just don’t think a body shop is a place for a woman; they’re better off in the office.” He didn’t hire me, but when he called me back a year later, I went – there weren’t many body shops hiring in my area. He hired me as a helper but wanted to move me to the office eventually. He was a good guy but sucked to work for. I didn’t get paid squat, and he always made me feel like trash if I messed anything up – I was expected to be like the guys with years and years of experience, even though I had only been doing it for a short time. I never regretted working there because I got a lot of good experience, and it made me appreciate my new shop that much more.”
“I have only good things to say about the older techs in the shop; I’ve always been treated equally and with respect, like everyone else. I’m always given opportunities to help out, and they’re always willing to teach me new things. I am so happy with my choice of working in the trade! The only negative things I’ve ever run into is with the guys around my age – there’s a lot of jealousy and just negativity when I succeed or get along with the older techs.”
“I used to work at a shop that was owned by a woman and then her son took over, and it was 100% supportive and treated men and women equally. I can’t say the same for the customers, but we always had ownership’s backing when we needed it. Now I work at a shop that is probably better than most, but there is definitely some subtle sexism, such as there only being a men’s bathroom in the shop, the guys referring to other men as “chicks” when they are being dramatic, and resistance to hiring females in the shop because they might not “fit in.”
I’ve received hundreds of supportive and encouraging comments. They tell me I’m making the difference, that I’m amazing at my job. When I was offered a position during a job interview, they told me, “Out of everyone here, your skills are beyond a value we can compensate you for, but we will try.”

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers 🥂 to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them here.

If the jobs are there, what’s stopping women from applying for them? That’s why we’re here – the dirtiest little secret of all. But it’s not really all that secret, is it? They are the buzzwords everywhere; they’re needed in every industry. Diversity. Equity. Inclusion. These are scary thoughts, but we promise to take it slow and break it down.

Diversity is just variety, and a little change never hurt anyone, right? Right. Equity means fair and impartial, easy enough. OK, and here’s the big one that we get stuck on. Inclusion is equal access to opportunities and resources. That’s it.

And let’s clear up one common misconception that’s pretty irking:

Including women doesn’t mean excluding men. The whole point of inclusion is INCLUDING EVERYONE, regardless of gender, race, religion, or anything else that is completely unrelated to someone’s ability to perform their job functions.

 

Well, my company has this covered – we hire women, and we treat our girls right! (+1 cool point if you recognize the subliminal sexism in this statement!)

You’re in the majority in that assumption. In fact, only 78% of men in the automotive industry believe that a lack of diversity, equity and inclusion “prevent people from considering a career in the automotive industry;” however, 64% of women disagree, making this the most common explanation they see for a lack of interest in automotive – more prohibitive than income, promotion opportunities, or any other dissuading factor (source).

But that’s just the perception, not the reality! She would tell me if…

If you’re still having doubts that you should be concerned about this issue, check out these stats:

When asked if they would stay in automotive if they were starting their career today, 45% of surveyed women said they would choose a different path (source). And unfortunately, she probably wouldn’t tell you if she’s uncomfortable or facing discrimination – although 90% of women indicate the industry’s bias towards men negatively impacts diversity (source), few women talk about the misogyny and sexism they’ve faced because they fear repercussions – demotions, unpleasant assignments or treatment, even job loss.

But if she talked, we’d listen. She just has to speak up!

Even speaking up can be an issue in the male-female dynamic. Women who express their discontent are generally dismissed, especially in situations when they are outnumbered by men.

Best case scenario: We’re accused of being emotional, bossy, too aggressive.

Worst case scenario: We are called a bitch, told to go bleed, even physically assaulted.

I’m feeling attacked here.

Welcome to our world! But seriously, buddy, we don’t think you’re a bad guy (????but if you ARE a misogynistic ass – fight me, my dude ????). Honestly, you’re probably a great friend, loving partner/parent, and maybe you even genuinely respect the women in your life. But you can’t know what you don’t know – you haven’t experienced the pains of being a woman any more than women have experienced the pain of being kicked in the ‘nads.

But seriously, aren’t things better? Have we made progress on equality? Sure! Thankfully, things ARE better than they were 50 years ago, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago.

But does that mean the problem is gone? Not yet.

If you install one or two tires on a car, how far will it go? Not very – but luckily, the automotive and skilled labor trades industries are pretty accustomed to constant technological advances, so we believe that you can translate that same diligence to social advances!

Welcome to the adventure!

Part 2- Stereotypes: Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skilled Trades Industries

Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries

A Five-Part Series

Brought to you by Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications*

Content/Trigger Warning:
This series will address issues that may be traumatic for some readers – Contains graphic language and references toverbal abuse, misogyny, homophobia, violence & sexual assault

Comedian George Carlin said, “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

That’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes, isn’t it? Compare a male and female of any other species on the planet… Sure, there are some biological differences – like a male dog humping everything in sight – but when the doorbell rings, a dog barks at the door, regardless of its genitals.

People, though… Well, we’re different from other species. Men and women respond differently to their environments (have you ever watched a sappy movie with your partner?), and they also have some different needs. But folks of both genders have a lot of similarities as well: They want to be liked, accepted and respected.

Here’s why you give a damn: Women held just 23.6% of jobs in the motor vehicles and motor vehicles equipment manufacturing industry in 2019 (source). Even more damning? Only 1% of positions for collision repair technicians and 1.4% of automotive service technician positions were filled by women.

And it’s not because women can’t do the job – I mean, seriously, have you seen some of these badasses?!

An industry in desperate need of qualified technicians and other personnel cannot afford to alienate half the population right out of the gate!

To celebrate Women’s History Month, we’re giving you some insights into the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries. We hope you’ll stick around for the ride – learn a little, laugh a little and hopefully find something that resonates!

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers 🥂 to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them at the bottom of this post .

And hey ladies – although this is addressed to the men for simplicity’s sake, this isn’t merely a “men” problem. There’s a lot of girl-on-girl crime going on in this industry (you get extra cool points if you get the reference)… as women, we can all do a better job of supporting one another. “Just laugh it off” only ensures that our daughters and even granddaughters are still dealing with the same bullshit – and they don’t have our sense of humor! They’re already fed up; they were BORN fed up.

In honor of Women’s History Month, Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications are partnering each Wednesday in March to bring you the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Labor Trades Industries.

This series features many voices, not just ours. Women in the automotive industry have graciously shared their stories**, and we’ve done our best to bring as much information and resources together as possible. We want to dive into those real, raw, taboo topics – the subjects that make you shush your friends if they speak too loudly in public – and we’ll share them through text, audio and imagery because people are diverse and everyone digests information differently – and that’s okay!

We’ll share our thoughts, too, because we want you to understand: This isn’t just a “them” problem, an “over there” problem – it’s a problem impacting you, impacting ALL of us, a problem that’s taking place RIGHT HERE, everywhere, and if we don’t break out of our comfort zones and start talking about these not-so-sexy secrets, nothing will ever change.

But more importantly, we’ll add our voices to the many women who’ve shared their stories because we owe them that. We owe them the added strength of our voices – we are stronger together, and unless we begin to address this as an industry and as a society, our daughters will be sharing these same stories 20 years down the road. We welcome you to this journey and are so excited you’ve decided to join us – women and other minorities need the support of strong allies and industry leadership to solve these problems.

DLS Calendar – Revised 3.14.21

Other industries have made significant strides when it comes to tackling similar concerns, proving that improvement IS possible. We believe it’s past time for the automotive and skilled labor trades industries to have this conversation.

Now, buckle up for a whirlwind of misplaced gender roles, disturbing tales from the frontlines, and a good hearty helping of brutal honesty. But before we dive in, a quick note to the gents and the ladies…

Men: We understand that you’re probably a little reluctant to confront this, and it’s awesome that you’re still with us – we promise we aren’t here to attack you. Now, we may challenge some ideas that that have been instilled in you and offer suggestions you haven’t considered, but it’s coming from a place of love and faith that you’re open, that you’re ready to have this conversation, that you’re prepared to participate in making this world a better place for all people. We know you have only the best intentions, but who hasn’t unintentionally offended someone? Let’s talk about some things you may not have thought of before and how these “women’s rights” issues impact you, too!

Women: For those of you who have faced gender discrimination or any of discrimination’s other ugly faces, we are here with you. We hear you. We see you. We believe you. To the rest of you, we know that not every woman feels oppressed – and we’re glad if you’re among that demographic. Keep on rocking! But a diamond doesn’t shine any less brightly because it’s surrounded by other diamonds… Help one another. Mentor each other. Let’s support ALL the badass women in the automotive and skilled labor trades industries!

Stereotypes: Make Me a Sammich

Part 2 of 5

“So, I’m going to be a stay-at-home dad for a couple years,” Christian finished telling his boss, turning in his two-weeks’ notice. Since his wife had taken time off with their first child, they had decided that he would do the honors this time around.

“You WHAT?!” Mr. Johnson laughed. “I guess we know who wears the pants in your family. I didn’t realize I’d hired such a ball-less chick!”

Realizing how he would be perceived simply for prioritizing his family, Christian updated his LinkedIn profile and his resume to indicate that he spent the next two years running a consulting firm – though he never accepted a client.

The assumption that she’s office staff, although she’s clearly wearing a technician’s uniform. You’re too pretty to turn a wrench! The claim that she’s overreacting – and the subsequent context that her feelings aren’t valid, even as you question her experience, her skillset. What are you ordering for lunch, sweetheart? The subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) demeaning words change, but the meaning is always the same: this isn’t her place; she doesn’t belong!

Stereotype: (noun) “a mistaken idea or belief many people have about a thing or group that is based upon how they look on the outside, which may be untrue or only partly true. Stereotyping people is a type of prejudice because what is on the outside is a small part of who a person is. Like other untrue opinions, stereotypes might be used as reasons to discriminate against another person…”

Women are constantly judged, perpetually placed in a nice tidy box in people’s minds.

But so are men, especially automotive professionals.

This mentality is a crying shame because the automotive industry is filled with some of the smartest, kindest, most generous people around. And as far as educated? We all know the old “grease monkey” days are a thing of the past – today’s cars are high-tech computers, only much more dangerous, and your skills are what ensures the safety of so many families.

Okay, okay, they’re just words. Sticks and stones and all that jazz, right? No! Why? Well, words hurt – and it doesn’t make you less of a man or woman to admit that. When stereotypes are applied to us (or someone who looks like us or who has our same hobbies), it doesn’t feel good. We question our value and skills, and we may even begin to believe the stereotype is true – whether we realize it or not. Sometimes, our reactions are internalized, our feelings are subconscious, but they can still leaving a lasting impact.

From a psychological standpoint, being stereotyped has a negative impact on folks’ self-worth and their confidence in their ability to perform a task, and this can lead to stereotype threat. Stereotype threat is “a situational predicament in which people are or feel themselves to be at risk of conforming to stereotypes about their social group… These effects are also increased when they expect discrimination due to their identification with a negatively stereotyped group. Repeated experiences of stereotype threat can lead to a vicious circle of diminished confidence, poor performance, and loss of interest in the relevant area of achievement (source).”

Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well.

Why assume you know anything about a person, simply based on their appearance, their occupation, or their interests? Knowing who you are presents many challenges, for all of us – and that makes perfect sense because who we are changes constantly based on our environment and our experiences. But when the environment where we spend at least 40 hours each week is filled with negativity and vitriol, the way we change reflects that – we become embittered, insecure, and angry… oh so angry. Eventually, those feelings can impact your career, your family, and your very sense of self-worth.

We’re going to hear from some ladies about how stereotyping in the automotive industry has impacted them and their careers, so take a seat and imagine hearing these types of comments directed at you, over and over again –
Would those “jokes” still be funny?

“When I told an older gentleman that I wanted to work in a speed shop someday, he told me no one would hire a woman, but I’d ‘make a great parts girl.’ I’ve always been a bit timid so yeah… I believed him and gave up.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:

She quit? She fucking QUIT?! That makes me so mad – because I can relate. There are so many things I didn’t try growing up. Why? Well… “girls don’t do that,” “you might get hurt,” “behave like a lady,” and a whole host of utter bullshit. It took over a decade of adulthood before I finally realized that I am the ONLY one who gets to decide what I do, who I am and who I become.

Ironically, when I look back, the most pressure to “act like a girl” came from the women in my life. I realized it in college, during my first Women’s Studies course, when everyone was sharing the same key phrases – but most of them were quoting their fathers. I raised my hand and proudly shared, “My dad is the one person who never made me feel like I should be anything or anyone other than exactly who I am – and he never even implied that being female should limit me in anyway.” Thank you, Daddy

Well, there went another potential Automotive Rockstar! Another fun fact about stereotypes: They can lead to poor performance and a loss of interest. Just think about that for a second.

A story: Twelve-year-old Chasity really wanted to race micro-sprints, and her dad was all about it. Her mom disagreed: “That’s not the type of thing my daughter is going to do; it’s too dangerous for a little girl.” That girl never raced, lost interest. The end.

Why? This type of mentality benefits no one. It pigeonholes all people into a defined role that was assigned to us based purely on – our genitals? Because one physical attribute somehow impacts every aspect of our personalities and our existence. Gotta love it when people assume things about you based on something so completely inconsequential and unrelated. Speaking of…what size shoe do you gentlemen wear? Uh-huh, pretty dumb, right?

“The first painter I ever worked for told me, ‘You don’t look like someone who would do this job – you don’t look like a dyke.’ He kept fumbling to get his foot out of his mouth, but he was basically saying I couldn’t do this job unless I at least LOOKED like a man.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:

What the hell does a female automotive professional look like? What does a man in automotive look like? My appearance – no person’s appearance – defines who they are! Don’t assume you know who I am just because you see a pair of tits! Next – dyke?! 1. Did you mean lesbian? Why was it necessary to use the most derogatory term possible? 2. Since when does someone’s sexual preferences have any impact on the career they choose or their ability to perform the functions of that career? 3. What does a lesbian look like? Other than a woman? I know “butch” lesbians – I also know “butch” breeders. Same goes for women of the femme fatale variety. But again, I ask – what the fuck does that have to do with anything in the workplace?! With all the bullshit going on in our world, let’s stop wasting energy on judging people by the way they look.

We already know the language used was unacceptable, as was the implication that a masculine appearance is necessary to skillfully perform the tasks demanded by any job. So, let’s look at this from another perspective: that painter.

First impressions matter, and by introducing yourself in this way, it’s unlikely to yield favorable results, meaning that you probably won’t have a great relationship with this person. Does that matter? Maybe, maybe not. But you won’t know if you don’t give them a chance by getting to know them before you decide what they’re worth!

The Mean Girl Myth: I’m not the most confident woman, but when I was younger, I was particularly insecure. That insecurity caused me to feel that I was constantly being judged, and it made me particularly uncomfortable around women because I incessantly compared myself to them. If a friend introduced me to a beautiful, smart woman, I automatically shut down and refused to befriend them – in my head, they had already found me unworthy to associate with them, so I acted accordingly. Through my actions, I essentially became the Mean Girl that I internally accused them of being. As a result, they were repelled by my attitude and actions, and I never got a chance to find out whether we had anything in common. I shut down God-only-knows-how-many opportunities to make some potentially great connections because I was afraid of what they thought of me. I still struggle with this at times, but when I catch myself being unpleasant to someone I don’t really know, I try to take a step back, walk away for a few minutes, and evaluate whether I’m reacting to something they did or my own internal bias.

The unfortunate truth is that everyone succumbs to stereotyping someone else at some point, and although a thought isn’t a word, isn’t an action, it can become hurtful words or unkind actions if left unchecked. Stereotyping doesn’t just affect what you think about people; it also directly correlates with how you treat them. And if you aren’t careful, stereotyping can become a gateway leading to outright discrimination. The only way to prevent that is by confronting your thoughts, your bias. And if you aren’t sure whether you are reacting to the stereotype or the person, there are a lot of resources you can access to learn more.

“During tech school, my instructor constantly made comments like, ‘A woman is only good for one thing,’ and when a guy in class was degrading me, the instructor told me, ‘Don’t worry – that wouldn’t bother you if you were in the place you belong… doing my laundry, cleaning the house, and making me food.’ Like a lot of other women [in this industry], I’m not easily offended, but I’d never felt more belittled in my life – and over the thing I love most in this world, no less!”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:

What the actual fuck. Why does some random ass person get to decide where SHE belongs?! Yeah, ok – Dick. Good luck with that. Make your own sammich. Honestly, it’s probably safer that way – for multiple reasons. Also, also, also… a woman is only good for ONE thing?! One? (Ignoring his later claim regarding the three things she should be good at…) Do you know a single person, seriously, who is only good for ONE thing? I know some that aren’t good for a damn thing, but that could be a series of its own.

We’re going to come back to the whole “gender role” issue being imposed here, so hang tight. For now, let’s focus on the fact that this happened in school. We all know that the automotive and skilled labor trades industries have evolved into highly technical fields, falling under the category of STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering & Math). Historically, women have been excluded from and discounted in STEM fields, despite having made significant contributions. In 2017, women held only 29% of STEM occupational positions, and as of 2018, women in STEM fields were paid only 80.7% of their male counterparts’ earnings (source).

“I had one driver straight up refuse to let me work on his trailer because I ‘should be at home cooking dinner.’ When trying to get authorized for a repair and telling the company that I was the tech-on-location THREE times, the guy still asked when someone could be there to make the repairs! Some drivers just stare at me, but I actually caught one standing next to his truck, jacking off! Any time I’ve had an issue that couldn’t be ignored, my boss has always had my back.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:

HAHAHAHAHA. OK guys, gals, clowns & politicians. Let me be the first to admit – my place is NOT at home cooking dinner. Not at all. I’ve burned boiled eggs. Literally, burnt them. I may like to consider myself a goddess (alone, in the privacy of my home), but I’m sure as shit not a domestic one! Which is why I hate this assumption – why am I less of a woman because I don’t have culinary skills? HelloFresh! And to the guy randomly yanking on his manhood in public, no one wants to see that! Not her, not the guy in the truck next to you or the kid in the car passing on the road. Have some dignity and class. Shit.

It’s 2021. Women make up half of the workforce, yet that half of the population is typically expected to launder the clothes, fix the meals, and take care of the household – after working all day. Women are consistently placed in the role of caregiver (actually the example in a basic “stereotype” search on Google). And we admit: A lot of women step into that role. Women tend to be natural caregivers for the benefit of the family, the community.

But many men are also nurturing and loving. It’s funny how that never gets mentioned, isn’t it? They coach softball, they volunteer at foodbanks, and they love their families. Men feel a wide range of emotions, just like women. Unfortunately, stereotypes cut both ways, so because women are seen as being overly emotional, a man expressing his emotions is seen as “womanly.” (Sidenote folks: I’m pretty sure assuming “womanly” is an insult is a mistake – how could you NOT want to be compared to these badass women and so many others?!)

Another of those stereotypes: “Boys will be boys.” Typically thrown out as an excuse for when boys (or men) are being violent, callous, engaging in “locker room talk” (*cough – misogyny – cough*)… Isn’t it a little demeaning to be told that you have no control over your actions, that your behavior is biologically programmed because you’re packing a penis? Especially when scientists say that the differences between the male and female brain are nominal at best (source)

Badass Women

“When I reached for food during an employee lunch, the guys told me, ‘We don’t want dick-grabbers in everyone’s food!’ I walked away to avoid the situation, but they called me back in and yelled at me for not putting the food away – I didn’t even eat anything, and when I started to get upset, they yelled at me: ‘Wanna go fucking cry about it? How ‘bout you go cry about it?’ Yeah, that’s when I lost it and yelled back which didn’t end well. I waited the rest of the day for an apology. Turns out they flipped the story when they told the owner. Apparently, I was ‘in a bad mood today… she just freaked out on everyone for no reason.’ Well, the owner had audio surveillance, and my story was the one that checked out. The guys involved did seriously apologize, and we’re good now. But it still happened.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
Dick-grabbers – really, like we’re 12?! I have so many questions. Why would you choose to insult your own penis? How can she be a dick grabber: Aren’t all female auto pros lesbians – or is that only when it suits your narrative? Do you control our sexuality now, too, day by day?! Why was she supposed to put the food away? Why isn’t she allowed to be upset? Why do you assume she’s going to cry? Why can’t she be angry for your actions instead of blaming it on her “bad mood?” If she was in Moodsville, it’s because you drove her there! On the plus side, kudos on the resolution. It seems like the folks in this situation actually learned something productive and healthy.

Female automotive professionals report hearing demeaning comments on a frequent basis. Of survey participants (source), 83.82% reported hearing demeaning comments at least occasionally from male colleagues and 66.21% from female colleagues; 70% of them noted that clients and colleagues do not make eye contact with them, though that courtesy is given to male professionals.

Again, women are judged for being emotional, but if someone is insulted, why aren’t they allowed to have a negative reaction? A lot of times, women are accused of overreacting, but is she really overreacting – or is she reacting to an overwhelming amount of bullshit? She probably doesn’t react to every single slight. Instead, she lets it build. And build. And build.

Until it overflows. (Yes, we know there are times when people do overreact, especially during tense situations. We’ll provide some tips in What Can You Do?) And as uncomfortable as men can be when a woman cries, they’re even less comfortable when she’s angry. Yet men can be angry – they just can’t cry. 🤦

“The head painter at my second job always had it out for me. I guess he thought I would like him when I started working there, so when I didn’t, he took his anger out on me, constantly yelling at me and calling me a complaining bitch. Once, he tried to get me fired for not painting a part he’d requested – except he hadn’t given me the paint that he had to specially tint himself. It went on until he decided he wanted to sleep with me and started flirting. I had to shut that down several times before he finally started acting right, but he eventually quit, and now I get along with everyone!”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy reaction:
Why are women constantly attacked for – IDK – speaking, breathing, existing? The internet is rife with information about how female leaders can communicate to ensure they aren’t perceived as pushy – gems like saying, “I’m just thinking out loud here” instead of “I have an idea.” Or don’t tell an employee “This has to be done Monday” – try “What do you think about getting this done Monday?” Um… I think it had better be done Monday if that’s when it needs to be done so I don’t really care what you think about my assertiveness. Why should a “boss” be anything other than “bossy?” Oh! Can someone please tell me why successful women are always called “ball-busters?” No Boss-ass Babe is concerned about busting your balls – or doing anything else with them, buddy. She’s busy. Making money, making decisions, and making moves. Get. On. Her. Level. (Speaking to myself here too!)

Words have power ( said the writer) – they can build you up or break you down. And the words used to describe people’s actions tend to vary, depending on that individual’s gender. While the definitions are typically similar when you compare the words, the implied meaning is different.

A man who takes control is assertive, has leadership qualities. When a woman takes control, she’s bossy, pushy, aggressive, bitchy. Men “share their views” when they disagree with you; women complain, nag or bitch.

Women in the automotive industry share these experiences: 68.11% have been called “too aggressive,” 50.12% have been accused of being “too quiet,” 62.24% were “too bossy,” and 61.03% have been told they were “too emotional” at least once (source).

The behavior is the same, so why are the words different? These word choices send a subliminal message: They chastise women for expressing their opinions; they demand female silence.

OK, what is the second Dirty Little Secret?

People judge other people. There’s no way around it. But let’s try judging people on how they treat other people, on their actions – the person who shouldn’t be an automotive technician is the person who is incompetent at the job, not the person who happens to have a vagina. (Preview for next week: Those two people are not necessarily the same!)

Seriously, stereotyping does such a depressing disservice to the individuality within each person, and it completely disregards the complexity of humanity – people are multi-faceted, they aren’t made to fit in a box – and if they do, they get to choose the box where they belong. Each person has many interests, but that interest isn’t dictated by what’s found below their belt, who they take to bed, or the color of their skin.

Stereotyping is also dangerous. Your belief about a person influences what you think about them, how you feel about them, and ultimately, how you treat them. If left unchecked, stereotyping transforms into a stepping stone, creating a path to discrimination and bigotry.

What can you do?

There are many ways to learn more about the harmful impacts of stereotyping in the workplace and in your personal lives, but it really all starts with communication.

In stressful situations, take a deep breath. Listen. Walk away if you need to. Accept your feelings, but control your tongue. Obviously, this is easier said than done, so it’d be better if men and women prevented some of those tense situations in the first place – which is entirely possible with general respect and human decency!

Men: When you hear something, say something; unacceptable comments are just that – unacceptable – whether they’re made to a woman or a man! Silence speaks volumes, and by failing to discourage such behavior, you send the implied message that you condone it, or at least don’t mind it. Call it out; it’s safer for you than for women to stand up for themselves. Even if you’re an awesome dude who would never treat women as “less than,” make sure your team knows it’s unacceptable, and then hold them to that standard. Talk to your friends, peers, associations, industry leaders – misogynists like the ones encountered by the ladies we quote throughout this series ARE out there, scaring potential talent away because “It’s a man’s world, baby!”

Women: See above… and support one another! Don’t participate in the stereotypical comments and backbiting – tearing another woman down does not increase your value. Women tell each other to have a sense of humor, to toughen up, to blow it off. But aren’t we sick of it yet?! Ignoring it is enabling it. It’s time to call it out and shut it down – whether the offender is male or female. Every time you accept those shitty actions, you’re telling them that it’s okay, that boys will be boys, that all women are “mean girls”… Stop accepting bad behavior merely because stereotyping predicts that’s all you can expect from people!

Resources

Who We Be

Jayme and Chasidy are the HBICs (Head Bitch in Charge) of Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, respectively.

Femcanic Garage is “a community of like-minded women in the skilled-trades, automotive, and motorsports industries. Through our shared accomplishments, careers, and dreams, we elevate and empower each other to realize our highest potential. Together, we strive to smash stereotypes and break barriers for women in the industry and evolve the world to see us as the leaders that we are.” To Jayme, Femcanic is all about “creating a global space for women in this industry, an industry a lot of women love.”

Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications is a freelance writing operation that provides content and copywriting, predominantly to the automotive and collision repair industries.

What’s This Got to Do with Either of Us Anyway?

We are women. We are feminists. We think this industry offers awesome career options for some really amazing people, but we also believe that the sexism and misogyny that pervades our society plays a role in some of the automotive industry’s challenges. And we have faith that you can do better.

Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

Feminism (noun): belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests (source).

Note how it says equality, rather than subjugation. Feminists aren’t trying to become the ruling gender; leaders should be elected based on knowledge and skills, including interpersonal “soft” skills, rather than on whether they have a penis or a vagina.

But here’s another perspective on what feminism COULD mean – if gender equality is embraced.

In an industry that accepts women’s equality and promotes diversity, women will no longer feel pressured to become one of the guys to fit in. Each woman will be able to “stop trying to be a second-class man and be a first-class woman.”

Women will be able to own the fact that, yes, we are women, and yes, we are a minority in this industry – but we won’t have to try to be anything other than the woman each of us already is.

What if being a feminist simply meant embracing and falling in love with your own version of femininity? There’s a gentleness that’s often inherent in women, and tragically, it’s frequently suppressed in male-dominated industries where to be a woman is to be “less than.”

But being a woman is a gift, and that softness is part of what makes women so special. Being a badass in the shop doesn’t have to prevent you from showing your heart of gold – and that also applies to men. Men are allowed to have – and express – emotions, too!

Why We’re in Your Face

Inequality hurts ALL people – men, women, black, white, LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual), or heterosexual. It sets up a system where everyone is told what they can do, who they can be, how high they can reach.

So why is no one talking about it? Sure, some people don’t recognize it’s even happening, especially people who’ve never experienced or witnessed it – after all, how do you explain color to the blind, right?

But there’s a larger reason: FEAR. We (as individuals, as women and as people in general) are afraid. We’re afraid of how we’ll be perceived if we call out bad behavior, if we set standards for how we’ll be treated, if we demand equality.

And we’re afraid for good reason. The history books are full of martyrs who stood up for what was right – only to be knocked down and persecuted. No one wants to lose their career because they “can’t take a joke.” Never mind that the joke stopped being funny long ago.

“All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.”

We need to leave our comfort zones - it’s time to BREAK THE SILENCE!

However, that can only happen when women in the industry collectively step into their true and authentic selves, and if WE are too afraid to do it, how can we ask anyone else to take that step?

This series is very personal, for both of us. While planning and laboring over this series, Jayme and I had numerous conversations. We talked through the risks, the fears, the comedy, and the tragedy of it all. The hardest discussion, though, was trying to identify our WHY.

Why ARE we doing this? Why did two busy women (with careers, side hustles, households to support, and occasionally social lives) decide to take time out of their already-hectic lives to research, interview, create graphics, sit on video calls for hours on end, and create content that has caused stress, anxiety, discomfort, lost sleep, tears, nausea… It’d be so much easier to relax on the couch and watch a sitcom!

Jayme’s reason boiled down to this:

My children are the reason for everything I do. As the mother of a son and a daughter, my ultimate purpose is to do what I can to create a world that is safer, better, for them to live in. My job is to protect them, and though I can’t control everything, I need to do what is possible.

The thought of someone treating my child (or anyone I love) in the way that these women have been treated – the idea of them going through that – is unimaginable. This is something I can do.

These topics are still grossly taboo, and the needle needs to move. I can use my community, my skills, my network, my voice, and my passion to do my part – to try to make a difference. This is something I can do.

I’ve dealt with and seen these issues my entire career, and I’ll be damned if my children have to go through the same thing; it’s one thing to hurt me, but it’s another entirely if you hurt my child. But speaking up against injustice sets the right example for my kids. This is something I can do.

Maybe, just maybe, by using my platform, my voice, I can help a woman. Help her prevent a situation or help her understand how to confront it. Maybe this series helps a man understand that the most dangerous thing is silence, and he becomes an ally, speaking up against those other men AND women who verbalize their misogyny. This is something WE can do.

“It is not the intelligent woman v. the ignorant woman; nor the white woman v. the black, the brown, and the red, it is not even the cause of woman v. man. Nay, ‘tis woman’s strongest vindication for speaking that the world needs to hear her voice.”

For me, this is a topic that’s been on my mind for a while – not just in the automotive industry but in general. It’s something I’ve dealt with my entire life – being told what I could do, how to act, what to say, how to dress, how to look, and so on (and on, and on, and on…since 1985).

Like Jayme said, you can hurt me, but there will be hell to pay if you hurt my child. I am not a mother, but I have many children who I consider “mine:” nephews and nieces, a bonus kid, and 14 godchildren, 11 of whom are girls.

A thing happened a couple years ago to one of them. A thing that has happened to many women, and I’ve always known it lurking possibility, even when I was a girl. And though I’m not ready to go into detail, #metoo.

But it felt different when it happened to one of my girls. To find out that a man had put his hands on a child that I consider MINE to protect – twice. A 7-year-old girl, later a 13-year-old girl. A child. My child.

I’ve never felt so much despair, so SO much despair. So helpless, hopeless. Why wasn’t I there? Or her mother, father, grandmother, brother, preacher, teacher, anyone else – why was she alone with a predator?

Then, I got scared. There are well over two dozen girls in my life – my bonus daughter, goddaughters, nieces, friend’s children, etc… Statistically, that means that at least four of them will have the same experience in their lifetime (source). How can that be the world we live in?

Finally, I got angry. And I’ve stayed angry as I’ve watched repeated assaults on equality, on women, on friends, on strangers. As my girls have told me about boys groping them at school, about teachers demeaning them, about men in their 30s and 40s asking teenagers on dates.

I’ve struggled to compose my thoughts, to express this, to speak with my voice. I’ve never had such a hard time writing something, but I’m so glad that Jayme and I decided to collaborate on this. It’s scary, but her courage strengthens me.

For the first time in years, I feel like my voice could possibly do some good; I don’t feel helpless or hopeless. I feel empowered. And I hope you will too.

For too long, we’ve all been waiting – waiting for change, for progress, for permission, for leaders in the automotive industry (and in the world) to finally say, “Enough is enough!”

We’re ready for change NOW – change that benefits women, men, boys and girls – change that will make a better future for all of our children. We are stronger together.

We hope that, through Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skills Trades Industries, we can provide women and men alike with the strength to give themselves permission and to find the courage to share their stories. We can make this industry a more diverse, equitable and inclusive place for everyone. This is something we can all do, together.

With hope and faith in a better future,
Chasidy & Jayme

*The views and opinions expressed in this blog series, Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries, are solely those of the authors, Jayme Blasiman and Chasidy Rae Sisk, and do not reflect the views, opinions or policies of any past, present or future employer, client or any other organization with which Jayme or Chasidy are affiliated.

**Identities of contributing professionals have been concealed to protect the innocent and subsequently the guilty. Provided ages are approximate.

***References to all individuals, organizations or concepts in this series are done provided for informational purposes only. You should not rely upon any information or materials on these pages in making or refraining from making any specific business decision or other decisions. In most cases, we have no affiliation with those mentioned, but in all cases, no compensatory arrangement was made for the reference. Actually, we’re hoping they aren’t mad that we mentioned them! While we believe that the resources, individuals and organizations represent the traits that we admire, that belief is limited to our experience and exposure to them. We take no responsibility or liability for the conduct or content of those entities, their sites, or any offerings made. Additionally, we make no warranty regarding any transactions, products or services executed through or by a third party. All such transactions are conducted entirely at your own risk. Any warranty provided in connection with any of these third party’s offerings or services will be solely provided through said third party, not through Femcanic Garage or Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, LLC.

Chasidy’s unfiltered thoughts – A note:

These are my gut reactions and the part of this collaboration that has given me the most hesitation. I rarely write in my voice – my projects require providing an objective viewpoint or assuming someone else’s voice, so I do my best to avoid interjecting myself into the story.

That is not the case in Dirty Little Secrets… you’ll find glimpses of me throughout these blogs; however, these are overt interjections that are me at my rawest, most unfiltered and least PC. They are the thoughts you’d normally only be privy to if we were kicked back on my couch with a glass of wine in hand. So the professional in me apologizes, but the woman who believes in equality – well, she knows that my embarrassment is worthwhile if it makes just one person second-guess a previously unfair practice. Thank you for tolerating my snark.

Bonus Content

“At my interview as a painter, I was told “I just don’t think a body shop is a place for a woman; they’re better off in the office.” He didn’t hire me, but when he called me back a year later, I went – there weren’t many body shops hiring in my area. He hired me as a helper but wanted to move me to the office eventually. He was a good guy but sucked to work for. I didn’t get paid squat, and he always made me feel like trash if I messed anything up – I was expected to be like the guys with years and years of experience, even though I had only been doing it for a short time. I never regretted working there because I got a lot of good experience, and it made me appreciate my new shop that much more.”
“I have only good things to say about the older techs in the shop; I’ve always been treated equally and with respect, like everyone else. I’m always given opportunities to help out, and they’re always willing to teach me new things. I am so happy with my choice of working in the trade! The only negative things I’ve ever run into is with the guys around my age – there’s a lot of jealousy and just negativity when I succeed or get along with the older techs.”
“I used to work at a shop that was owned by a woman and then her son took over, and it was 100% supportive and treated men and women equally. I can’t say the same for the customers, but we always had ownership’s backing when we needed it. Now I work at a shop that is probably better than most, but there is definitely some subtle sexism, such as there only being a men’s bathroom in the shop, the guys referring to other men as “chicks” when they are being dramatic, and resistance to hiring females in the shop because they might not “fit in.”
I’ve received hundreds of supportive and encouraging comments. They tell me I’m making the difference, that I’m amazing at my job. When I was offered a position during a job interview, they told me, “Out of everyone here, your skills are beyond a value we can compensate you for, but we will try.”

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers 🥂 to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them here.

If the jobs are there, what’s stopping women from applying for them? That’s why we’re here – the dirtiest little secret of all. But it’s not really all that secret, is it? They are the buzzwords everywhere; they’re needed in every industry. Diversity. Equity. Inclusion. These are scary thoughts, but we promise to take it slow and break it down.

Diversity is just variety, and a little change never hurt anyone, right? Right. Equity means fair and impartial, easy enough. OK, and here’s the big one that we get stuck on. Inclusion is equal access to opportunities and resources. That’s it.

And let’s clear up one common misconception that’s pretty irking:

Including women doesn’t mean excluding men. The whole point of inclusion is INCLUDING EVERYONE, regardless of gender, race, religion, or anything else that is completely unrelated to someone’s ability to perform their job functions.

 

Well, my company has this covered – we hire women, and we treat our girls right! (+1 cool point if you recognize the subliminal sexism in this statement!)

You’re in the majority in that assumption. In fact, only 78% of men in the automotive industry believe that a lack of diversity, equity and inclusion “prevent people from considering a career in the automotive industry;” however, 64% of women disagree, making this the most common explanation they see for a lack of interest in automotive – more prohibitive than income, promotion opportunities, or any other dissuading factor (source).

But that’s just the perception, not the reality! She would tell me if…

If you’re still having doubts that you should be concerned about this issue, check out these stats:

When asked if they would stay in automotive if they were starting their career today, 45% of surveyed women said they would choose a different path (source). And unfortunately, she probably wouldn’t tell you if she’s uncomfortable or facing discrimination – although 90% of women indicate the industry’s bias towards men negatively impacts diversity (source), few women talk about the misogyny and sexism they’ve faced because they fear repercussions – demotions, unpleasant assignments or treatment, even job loss.

But if she talked, we’d listen. She just has to speak up!

Even speaking up can be an issue in the male-female dynamic. Women who express their discontent are generally dismissed, especially in situations when they are outnumbered by men.

Best case scenario: We’re accused of being emotional, bossy, too aggressive.

Worst case scenario: We are called a bitch, told to go bleed, even physically assaulted.

I’m feeling attacked here.

Welcome to our world! But seriously, buddy, we don’t think you’re a bad guy (????but if you ARE a misogynistic ass – fight me, my dude ????). Honestly, you’re probably a great friend, loving partner/parent, and maybe you even genuinely respect the women in your life. But you can’t know what you don’t know – you haven’t experienced the pains of being a woman any more than women have experienced the pain of being kicked in the ‘nads.

But seriously, aren’t things better? Have we made progress on equality? Sure! Thankfully, things ARE better than they were 50 years ago, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago.

But does that mean the problem is gone? Not yet.

If you install one or two tires on a car, how far will it go? Not very – but luckily, the automotive and skilled labor trades industries are pretty accustomed to constant technological advances, so we believe that you can translate that same diligence to social advances!

Welcome to the adventure!

Part 1-Resources: Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skilled Trades Industries

Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries

A Five-Part Series

Brought to you by Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications*

Content/Trigger Warning:
This series will address issues that may be traumatic for some readers – Contains graphic language and references toverbal abuse, misogyny, homophobia, violence & sexual assault

Comedian George Carlin said, “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

That’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes, isn’t it? Compare a male and female of any other species on the planet… Sure, there are some biological differences – like a male dog humping everything in sight – but when the doorbell rings, a dog barks at the door, regardless of its genitals.

People, though… Well, we’re different from other species. Men and women respond differently to their environments (have you ever watched a sappy movie with your partner?), and they also have some different needs. But folks of both genders have a lot of similarities as well: they want to be liked, accepted and respected.

Here’s why you give a damn: women held just 23.6% of jobs in the motor vehicles and motor vehicles equipment manufacturing industry in 2019 (source). Even more damning? Only 1% of positions for collision repair technicians and 1.4% of automotive service technician positions were filled by women.

An industry in desperate need of qualified technicians and other personnel cannot afford to alienate half the population right out of the gate!

To celebrate Women’s History Month, we’re giving you some insights into the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries. We hope you’ll stick around for the ride – learn a little, laugh a little and hopefully find something that resonates!

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers 🥂 to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them at the bottom of this post .

And hey ladies – although this is addressed to the men for simplicity’s sake, this isn’t merely a “men” problem. There’s a lot of girl-on-girl crime going on in this industry (you get extra cool points if you get the reference)… as women, we can all do a better job of supporting one another. “Just laugh it off” only ensures that our daughters and even granddaughters are still dealing with the same bullshit – and they don’t have our sense of humor! They’re already fed up; they were BORN fed up.

In honor of Women’s History Month, Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications are partnering each Wednesday in March to bring you the Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Labor Trades Industries.

This series features many voices, not just ours. Women in the automotive industry have graciously shared their stories**, and we’ve done our best to bring as much information and resources together as possible. We want to dive into those real, raw, taboo topics – the subjects that make you shush your friends if they speak too loudly in public – and we’ll share them through text, audio and imagery because people are diverse and everyone digests information differently – and that’s okay!

We’ll share our thoughts, too, because we want you to understand: This isn’t just a “them” problem, an “over there” problem – it’s a problem impacting you, impacting ALL of us, a problem that’s taking place RIGHT HERE, everywhere, and if we don’t break out of our comfort zones and start talking about these not-so-sexy secrets, nothing will ever change.

But more importantly, we’ll add our voices to the many women who’ve shared their stories because we owe them that. We owe them the added strength of our voices – we are stronger together, and unless we begin to address this as an industry and as a society, our daughters will be sharing these same stories 20 years down the road. We welcome you to this journey and are so excited you’ve decided to join us – women and other minorities need the support of strong allies and industry leadership to solve these problems.

Other industries have made significant strides when it comes to tackling similar concerns, proving that improvement IS possible. We believe it’s past time for the automotive and skilled labor trades industries to have this conversation.

Now, buckle up for a whirlwind of misplaced gender roles, disturbing tales from the frontlines, and a good hearty helping of brutal honesty. But before we dive in, a quick note to the gents and the ladies…

Men: We understand that you’re probably a little reluctant to confront this, and it’s awesome that you’re still with us – we promise we aren’t here to attack you. Now, we may challenge some ideas that that have been instilled in you and offer suggestions you haven’t considered, but it’s coming from a place of love and faith that you’re open, that you’re ready to have this conversation, that you’re prepared to participate in making this world a better place for all people. We know you have only the best intentions, but who hasn’t unintentionally offended someone? Let’s talk about some things you may not have thought of before and how these “women’s rights” issues impact you, too!

Women: For those of you who have faced gender discrimination or any of discrimination’s other ugly faces, we are here with you. We hear you. We see you. We believe you. To the rest of you, we know that not every woman feels oppressed – and we’re glad if you’re among that demographic. Keep on rocking! But a diamond doesn’t shine any less brightly because it’s surrounded by other diamonds… Help one another. Mentor each other. Let’s support ALL the badass women in the automotive and skilled labor trades industries!

Lack of Resources & Support in the Workplace: Women Aren’t Really That Unique

Part 1 of 5

Hey Sue, let’s grab lunch,” Tom suggested to his former classmate and current co-worker. Sue and Tom were friends; they’d studied together, obtained the same degree, and started working at ABC Automotive exactly two years ago. Although some of the other guys picked on Sue constantly, Tom respected her skills – back in school, she had won several regional competitions and always scored the best grades in class.

“I can’t afford to take care of my family on $12 an hour.” Tom confided that he was looking for a different job. Imagine his surprise when Sue informed him that she had been hired at an hourly rate of $15! Tom’s mouth opened in shock: “I can’t believe they’re paying you more than me – whose dick did you suck?!”

OK, first off, let’s be extremely honest here: The likelihood that Sue would make more than Tom, regardless of her talents, is pretty damn slim (and the likelihood that a BJ could get her that type of raise is even more doubtful) – but let’s look at the big picture.

Remember how 45% of surveyed automotive women said they’d move to a different industry if they were starting their careers today? Although a lack of diversity, equity and inclusion was the top reason they cited, work/life balance and lack of promotion opportunities rounded out the three most frequent reasons they’d leave (source).

In comparison, men’s top three reasons were work/life balance, low income, and poor working relationships. Low income, lack of promotion opportunities – that’s pretty aligned! And if you think about reasons DEI is so important to women – well, a lack of DEI sure doesn’t help our working relationships… So, really, aren’t men and women asking for the same things?

In fact, most of the resources women desire are the essentials that should be provided in any career: competitive pay, PTO, health insurance, and short-term disability insurance. Women are also looking for the opportunity to grow and develop their skills and to advance in an organization (preferably without being accused of trading sexual favors – those are not women’s only talents, thank ya very much!).

Creating a culture that promotes diversity will help the automotive and skilled labor trades industry improve the way it’s viewed by women. As we explore some of the utter horse manure that our ladies in automotive have been forced to contend with, step into the storyteller’s shoes and imagine this happening in your career –

Would you find the “status quo” acceptable?

“But men have families to support, they’re the breadwinners, they’re the…” It’s 2021, fellas. Women have families to support too, and the ladies are also just as apt to bring home the bacon – which tastes a lot better when someone else cooks it, amiright?

The fact that 25% of women earn less than men doing the exact same job is appalling (source). In the recollection above, the difference was only 75 cents an hour, but looking at it proportionately – if a man made $30/hour, a woman would only make $27.30. That’s over $100 weekly – would you be able to pay all your bills if $400 of your income was stolen every month?

And women earning more doesn’t just benefit women; it benefits men too!

“After graduating with my Automotive Collision Refinishing certification, I landed my first body shop job in January 2011 – detailing cars for $8.25 an hour. During my interview, they questioned whether I was in a relationship; they didn’t want to hire a single woman who might cause problems by sleeping with the technicians. I also found out my male co-worker, who was still taking classes to achieve his certification, was making $9 an hour, 75 cents more than me! They eventually gave me a raise… but the damn audacity of even mentioning my relationship status and thinking they could get away with screwing me hourly – it was a slap in the face.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy’s Reaction:  Ok, I had to Google it, I just had to – found a lot about how women (and men) are perceived differently by employers based on whether they’re married, but nothing about how marriage impacts their actual ability to perform their jobs to a high standard – can you believe it?! Seriously, if you’re that worried about your employees sleeping together, you probably shouldn’t hire single men either. Or you could just castrate them all – like you did to this woman’s paycheck!

“Equal pay isn’t just a women’s issue; when women get equal pay,their family incomes rise and the whole family benefits.”

Of course, that one manager asking her about her marital status is problematic, but at least it’s not widespread, right?

Uh… Think again. Over 50% of surveyed female automotive professionals reported being questioned about her family life, marital status or children during the interview process (source).

Although federal law does not explicitly prohibit discrimination based on marital status, it’s generally viewed as a sex discrimination matter. According to the EEOC, “Questions about marital status and number and ages of children are frequently used to discriminate against women… It is clearly discriminatory to ask such questions only of women and not men (or vice-versa).” Additionally, more than half of the individual States have passed laws prohibiting familial discrimination (source).

“A week after being hired, the shop owner told me he’d hesitated to hire me because he was afraid of being forced to deal with sexual harassment reporting. He didn’t doubt I could do my job, but he was worried about the possibility of his current guys harassing me in some way. He didn’t want to risk being fined or forced to fire his guys. He acted like it was completely logical, but it pissed me off that I nearly didn’t get a job because he wasn’t sure his guys could act like decent human beings. They only hired me because the other applicants had little to no experience. Eventually, someone with experience applied, and since he was willing to work for a dollar less than I made, they hired him as a painter, downgraded me to a prepper, and docked my pay $5 an hour. I left that week.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy’s Reaction: But, but, but…Why are women constantly held responsible for men’s bad behavior? How is it HER fault if they MIGHT harass her? If her mere presence excuses the way they act, that dynamic should work both ways, right? So if someone’s face offends me, I’m completely justified in throat-punching them?! Sounds totally rational to me! ???? (In case you couldn’t HEAR my eyes rolling)

Yep, you read that right! An employer’s decision about hiring someone was nearly impacted by the POSSIBILITY of someone else’s poor behavior. Is that a consideration for hiring all employees?

The concept of penalizing one person for someone else’s actions – well, I don’t think any of us would enjoy working in that type of environment! From a business perspective, if this employer hadn’t grown a pair, he would have missed out on a qualified employee in favor of employees with questionable behavior. Does that seem like sound business logic to you?

This scenario provides one clear example of the prevalence of gender discrimination in the industry. Unless this manager would have hesitated to hire a man for fear of sexual harassment, this is an obvious violation of the intent behind Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, which protects employees from discrimination based on certain specified characteristics: race, color, national origin, sex, and religion.

Sharing the reasons for his indecision was even more insulting – he should have been worried about the possibility of someone else snagging a qualified candidate given the ongoing tech shortage! As you’ll hear next week, some people are more timid than others, and this woman could have easily decided that an automotive career wasn’t worth the hassle. We’re concerned… are you?

No matter your gender, being demoted with a pay reduction because someone else is willing to do your job cheaper – well, that’s pretty damn insulting, infuriating and an awful business practice if you’re looking to retain long-term employees (which increases your ROI). On average, female mechanics make nearly $5,000 less than men each year (source) as it is! But there’s another resource in this story that must be addressed. We can all agree that employees need training – that’s mandatory, especially in an industry that advances as frequently as automotive.

Sexual harassment training is just another type of training that is essential these days. Different states have varying requirements, and as an employer, you have to CYA (“cover your ass”).

For example, New Jersey does not require sexual harassment training for employees in the private sector; however, “in 2002 (Gaines v. Bellino) the New Jersey Supreme Court held that state courts should consider whether or not an employer made training available to supervisors and all employees when deciding whether or not an employer had been negligent in preventing sexual harassment under state law (source).”

Beyond that, we’re going to skip right over that whole “sexual harassment thing” for now – it’s probably a good idea for us to get a little better acquainted before diving into that nightmarish topic (and the completely justified violence of our reactions), but stay tuned for that installment later this month! (series schedule)

“When the owner introduced me to the other techs during a job interview, the lead tech (who would be TRAINING me!) said, “You know this is a man’s world, and you don’t belong here, right?” – Right in front of the boss. Who said nothing. I was speechless. I was hired, but the lead tech refused to teach me anything, and six months later, he quit because he “didn’t like where the shop’s headed.””

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy’s Reaction: They’re lucky she was speechless! You know who shouldn’t have been speechless, though? Hey boss man – this was a perfect opportunity to be an advocate for change, a hero, a REAL MAN by simply telling your employee, “Hey man, that’s not cool and doesn’t belong here.” Wow, how easy is that?

The automotive industry is NOT a man’s world, yet it sure seems geared that way! Men and women may be equally capable, but they are different biologically in some ways.

Let’s start with the obvious – our shape. Surprise! Women are built differently than men. Women have curves (and you’re welcome). But they are also built differently than one another. A large portion of female automotive workers are unable to wear standard uniforms because – you guessed it – they weren’t made for women! And when uniforms are specially made for women, they never provide any pocket space< em>(????for those of you who’ve never worn women’s pants, the pockets typically possess space for precisely two Mentos and one migraine pill – which you’ll need if the “pocket” is really just a stitch that doesn’t even open. Like seriously? Who thought of that one, and what drugs were they on? I digress…).

Women are also typically smaller than men, so items like PPE should be ordered in multiple sizes. Then there’s stature – on average, women are shorter than men. Step stools are low-cost investments that allow women (and our vertically challenged brethren!) to reach things easily.

Thanks to tons of testosterone, men tend to be physically stronger than women as well – one of the factors that made the automotive and skilled labor trades industries prohibitive in the past. Luckily, modern manufacturers create tools and equipment to some of the job’s heavyweight activities less strenuous – neither the women nor the men that work in the shop need to break their backs!

“My trainer, who occupied the bay next to mine, called me a cunt – for no reason. I was obviously frustrated, but when I told the boss I wanted to swap bays, he told me, “We can’t rearrange the shop every time you have a bitchfit.” When I got pissed off about that, he told me to “go bleed already.” I reported him to the owner, and my bay got swapped, but eventually I just couldn’t handle the environment anymore, so I quit.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy’s Reaction:  What the… OK, I’m not even offended by “cunt,” but it’s also never been thrown at me during a stressful workday! And I’d show him some blood –pouring out of his disrespectful mouth! (Y’all, I swear I’m not actually violent, but I absolutely fantasize about violence when I read these horror stories.) I can’t even imagine how unacceptable it’d be to joke about periods if men suffered them – every. single. month. Seriously, have you noticed how y’all deal with a little cold?

Toilet humor is always funny, at least to our inner 12-year-olds, but the bathroom situation in most automotive facilities is no laughing matter! Often, only men’s restrooms are available in the actual shop, leaving female technicians with a distance to hike, just to drop a deuce. Or if it’s a one-stall, gender-neutral bathroom, it’s filthy and stinky.(Seriously, what do y’all eat?! And no, it’s not her job to clean it.)

Another note: Women’s restrooms should be stocked with feminine hygiene products – that’s as essential as toilet paper, soap and paper towels. Air freshener would help as well – especially in a unisex restroom where everyone has to smell each other’s stankasses. (Ladies – this applies to you too; no one wants to sit on dried blood, so clean up after yourself. And this should go without saying, but stop flushing hygiene products and clogging the plumbing.)

There’s also a notable trend of women who struggle to advance in their careers or who are completely unable to do so. Over 40% of women in the automotive industry believe they’ve missed out on career advancement opportunities due to gender – “Women have been told they are not up for promotions because they have children and are therefore not able to commit enough time to the job. Or they’re told managers have fears that the woman soon will become pregnant and decide to leave the company, and so she won’t be considered for a promotion (source).”

For 64% of women (compared to 40% of men), the opportunity for career progression is extremely important, yet 70% of women believe minorities are underrepresented in leadership, and 91% believe the lack of leadership diversity results from industry bias towards men (source).

Leadership diversity is awesome for companies, though! “Studies have shown that companies with diverse leadership teams are eight times more likely to have better business outcomes, six times more likely to be innovative and agile, and 21% more likely to outperform on profitability when in the top quartile for gender diversity (source).” Sounds like there’s some missed opportunity when businesses fail to incorporate DE&I!

A supervisor wouldn’t allow me to pick up my 4-year-old son before daycare closed. “Can’t you just call him a cab or something?” Then he sighed and muttered, “Men don’t have this problem.”

Chasidy & Jayme’s Reaction

Chasidy’s Reaction: Men don’t have this problem?! As in men don’t have children or they would send them home in a cab – or is it possibly more likely that mothers are more likely to take on this responsibility? I know a lot of fathers, and I don’t know a single one that would put their child in a damn taxi. As a parent, whether you’re a mother or a father, your child is your top priority. We are biologically programmed to take care of our young! And someone who doesn’t is probably a shitty person. So unless all of your employees are shitty people (and why would you do that?), it sure appears that there’s a gap here that needs to be explored as an industry. That phrase, that really important requirement for men AND women to be happier at work… Um…

Let’s backtrack and recap really quick – what was the one shared reason between men and women on why they’d choose a different career industry again? Exactly, work/life balance, and this resource is HUGE.

Face it: The J.O.B. is always going to come second to your employees’ family – and that’s the way it SHOULD be! Your business is your baby, but it’s not theirs. But when you show some consideration for the things that matter to them, your humanity boosts morale, and happy employees are better, more productive employees.

Childcare is a major concern, especially outside standard work hours – sound familiar? What if employers partnered with local daycare providers to provide low-cost after-hours care for employees’ children in exchange for discounted services? Or maybe hire a local college student to watch the whole group after hours on certain days?

Maybe that sounds insane, but let’s think about why people work in the first place. Yeah, hopefully you enjoy the way that you earn your paycheck, but do you really do it simply for the sheer joy of working your ass off every day? Pretty sure no one would work 40+ hours each week WITHOUT the income. Most of us are doing what’s necessary to provide for our families – but wouldn’t we also like to enjoy the few spare hours that are allotted to us?

Flexible schedules would allow workers to run out during the day and work late – maybe for a dentist appointment, maybe to attend a child’s chorus performance, but without judgment. Plenty of shops and other businesses have benefitted from allowing technicians to work four 10-hour shifts with great results – after all, a happy employee is a productive employee. By showing that you care about their other priorities, you’re increasing morale and creating an environment where employees want to work; you’re developing a culture they want to be part of.

But since we’re on the subject of families, let’s touch on some related topics. Pregnancy discrimination is illegal. The Pregnancy Discrimination Act forbids “discrimination based on pregnancy when it comes to any aspect of employment, including hiring, firing, pay, job assignments, promotions, layoff, training, fringe benefits, such as leave and health insurance, and any other term or condition of employment.”

With this in mind, a lot of folks get really hung up on women needing maternity leave. Maternity leave is just one small bullet point under the whole umbrella of short-term disability insurance, which covers women AND men when they’re out of work for a temporary disability, such as non-job-related injury or illness – including pregnancy (Including one thing does not equate to excluding another). Short-term disability insurance belongs in every benefit package, right alongside health insurance, paid time off and retirement savings.

OK, what is the first Dirty Little Secret

All employees in the automotive and skilled labor trades industries deserve fair compensation, time off, medical insurance, and short-term disability ─ at a bare minimum. Employers also owe them respect, training to help advance their skills, and the ability to progress at work in terms of promotions and raises.

A lack of resources is a major problem that impacts all employees, not just women. The desire for health insurance isn’t unique to women. The need for diversity in leadership isn’t unique to women. The objection to a lack of equity in compensation doesn’t only affect women. And the lack of inclusion hurts men just as much as it hurts women because it divides us, but by combining forces to demand these benefits that are well-deserved, our voices are louder. We are stronger together.

What can you do?

First and foremost, keep asking for these basic needs from your employer and help push the industry as whole to solve this problem! You deserve it!

Resources

This website offers a variety of virtual harassment training webinars as well as other HR resources.
If you’re experiencing pay discrimination, you can find information on how to file a complaint here.
These companies offer female-friendly work clothing options.

Resources & Support in the Workplace
With McCeil Johnson

Who We Be

Jayme and Chasidy are the HBICs ( Head Bitch in Charge ) of Femcanic Garage and Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, respectively.

Femcanic Garage is “a community of like-minded women in the skilled-trades, automotive, and motorsports industries. Through our shared accomplishments, careers, and dreams, we elevate and empower each other to realize our highest potential. Together, we strive to smash stereotypes and break barriers for women in the industry and evolve the world to see us as the leaders that we are.” To Jayme, Femcanic is all about “creating a global space for women in this industry, an industry a lot of women love.”

Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications is a freelance writing operation that provides content and copywriting, predominantly to the automotive and collision repair industries.

What’s This Got to Do with Either of Us Anyway?

We are women. We are feminists. We think this industry offers awesome career options for some really amazing people, but we also believe that the sexism and misogyny that pervades our society plays a role in some of the automotive industry’s challenges. And we have faith that you can do better.
Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

We are women. We are feminists. We think this industry offers awesome career options for some really amazing people, but we also believe that the sexism and misogyny that pervades our society plays a role in some of the automotive industry’s challenges. And we have faith that you can do better.

Feminism is not a dirty word, though the stigma against it makes me hesitant to type it, reluctant to own the label – even though I’ve always believed in equality. But I’m not ashamed to be a feminist; I am who I am, and. I am someone who believes in equality, someone who is wholeheartedly convinced that my genitals do not prevent me from being who I want to be – and that includes pursuing the career, hobbies or anything else I so choose. I AM a feminist.

Feminism (noun): belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests (source).

Note how it says equality, rather than subjugation. Feminists aren’t trying to become the ruling gender; leaders should be elected based on knowledge and skills, including interpersonal “soft” skills, rather than on whether they have a penis or a vagina.

But here’s another perspective on what feminism COULD mean – if gender equality is embraced.

In an industry that accepts women’s equality and promotes diversity, women will no longer feel pressured to become one of the guys to fit in. Each woman will be able to “stop trying to be a second-class man and be a first-class woman.”

Women will be able to own the fact that, yes, we are women, and yes, we are a minority in this industry – but we won’t have to try to be anything other than the woman each of us already is.

What if being a feminist simply meant embracing and falling in love with your own version of femininity? There’s a gentleness that’s often inherent in women, and tragically, it’s frequently suppressed in male-dominated industries where to be a woman is to be “less than.”

But being a woman is a gift, and that softness is part of what makes women so special. Being a badass in the shop doesn’t have to prevent you from showing your heart of gold – and that also applies to men. Men are allowed to have – and express – emotions, too!

Why We’re in Your Face

Inequality hurts ALL people – men, women, black, white, LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual), or heterosexual. It sets up a system where everyone is told what they can do, who they can be, how high they can reach. So why is no one talking about it? Sure, some people don’t recognize it’s even happening, especially people who’ve never experienced or witnessed it – after all, how do you explain color to the blind, right? But there’s a larger reason: FEAR. We (as individuals, as women and as people in general) are afraid. We’re afraid of how we’ll be perceived if we call out bad behavior, if we set standards for how we’ll be treated, if we demand equality. And we’re afraid for good reason. The history books are full of martyrs who stood up for what was right – only to be knocked down and persecuted. No one wants to lose their career because they “can’t take a joke.” Never mind that the joke stopped being funny long ago.

“All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.”

We need to leave our comfort zones - it’s time to BREAK THE SILENCE! #METOO

However, that can only happen when women in the industry collectively step into their true and authentic selves, and if WE are too afraid to do it, how can we ask anyone else to take that step?

This series is very personal, for both of us. While planning and laboring over this series, Jayme and I had numerous conversations. We talked through the risks, the fears, the comedy, and the tragedy of it all. The hardest discussion, though, was trying to identify our WHY.

Why ARE we doing this? Why did two busy women (with careers, side hustles, households to support, and occasionally social lives) decide to take time out of their already-hectic lives to research, interview, create graphics, sit on video calls for hours on end, and create content that has caused stress, anxiety, discomfort, lost sleep, tears, nausea… It’d be so much easier to relax on the couch and watch a sitcom!

Jayme’s reason boiled down to this:

My children are the reason for everything I do. As the mother of a son and a daughter, my ultimate purpose is to do what I can to create a world that is safer, better, for them to live in. My job is to protect them, and though I can’t control everything, I need to do what is possible.

The thought of someone treating my child (or anyone I love) in the way that these women have been treated – the idea of them going through that – is unimaginable. This is something I can do.

These topics are still grossly taboo, and the needle needs to move. I can use my community, my skills, my network, my voice, and my passion to do my part – to try to make a difference. This is something I can do.

I’ve dealt with and seen these issues my entire career, and I’ll be damned if my children have to go through the same thing; it’s one thing to hurt me, but it’s another entirely if you hurt my child. But speaking up against injustice sets the right example for my kids. This is something I can do.

Maybe, just maybe, by using my platform, my voice, I can help a woman. Help her prevent a situation or help her understand how to confront it. Maybe this series helps a man understand that the most dangerous thing is silence, and he becomes an ally, speaking up against those other men AND women who verbalize their misogyny. This is something WE can do.

“It is not the intelligent woman v. the ignorant woman; nor the white woman v. the black, the brown, and the red, it is not even the cause of woman v. man. Nay, ‘tis woman’s strongest vindication for speaking that the world needs to hear her voice.”

For me, this is a topic that’s been on my mind for a while – not just in the automotive industry but in general. It’s something I’ve dealt with my entire life – being told what I could do, how to act, what to say, how to dress, how to look, and so on (and on, and on, and on…since 1985).

Like Jayme said, you can hurt me, but there will be hell to pay if you hurt my child. I am not a mother, but I have many children who I consider “mine:” nephews and nieces, a bonus kid, and 14 godchildren, 11 of whom are girls.

A thing happened a couple years ago to one of them. A thing that has happened to many women, and I’ve always known it lurking possibility, even when I was a girl. And though I’m not ready to go into detail, #metoo.

But it felt different when it happened to one of my girls. To find out that a man had put his hands on a child that I consider MINE to protect – twice. A 7-year-old girl, later a 13-year-old girl. A child. My child.

I’ve never felt so much despair, so SO much despair. So helpless, hopeless. Why wasn’t I there? Or her mother, father, grandmother, brother, preacher, teacher, anyone else – why was she alone with a predator?

Then, I got scared. There are well over two dozen girls in my life – my bonus daughter, goddaughters, nieces, friend’s children, etc… Statistically, that means that at least four of them will have the same experience in their lifetime (source). How can that be the world we live in?

Finally, I got angry. And I’ve stayed angry as I’ve watched repeated assaults on equality, on women, on friends, on strangers. As my girls have told me about boys groping them at school, about teachers demeaning them, about men in their 30s and 40s asking teenagers on dates.

I’ve struggled to compose my thoughts, to express this, to speak with my voice. I’ve never had such a hard time writing something, but I’m so glad that Jayme and I decided to collaborate on this. It’s scary, but her courage strengthens me.

For the first time in years, I feel like my voice could possibly do some good; I don’t feel helpless or hopeless. I feel empowered. And I hope you will too.

For too long, we’ve all been waiting – waiting for change, for progress, for permission, for leaders in the automotive industry (and in the world) to finally say, “Enough is enough!”

We’re ready for change NOW – change that benefits women, men, boys and girls – change that will make a better future for all of our children. We are stronger together.

We hope that, through Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive and Skills Trades Industries, we can provide women and men alike with the strength to give themselves permission and to find the courage to share their stories. We can make this industry a more diverse, equitable and inclusive place for everyone. This is something we can all do, together.

With hope and faith in a better future,
Chasidy & Jayme

*The views and opinions expressed in this blog series, Dirty Little Secrets of the Automotive & Skilled Trades Industries, are solely those of the authors, Jayme Blasiman and Chasidy Rae Sisk, and do not reflect the views, opinions or policies of any past, present or future employer, client or any other organization with which Jayme or Chasidy are affiliated.

**Identities of contributing professionals have been concealed to protect the innocent and subsequently the guilty. Provided ages are approximate.

***References to all individuals, organizations or concepts in this series are done provided for informational purposes only. You should not rely upon any information or materials on these pages in making or refraining from making any specific business decision or other decisions. In most cases, we have no affiliation with those mentioned, but in all cases, no compensatory arrangement was made for the reference. Actually, we’re hoping they aren’t mad that we mentioned them! While we believe that the resources, individuals and organizations represent the traits that we admire, that belief is limited to our experience and exposure to them. We take no responsibility or liability for the conduct or content of those entities, their sites, or any offerings made. Additionally, we make no warranty regarding any transactions, products or services executed through or by a third party. All such transactions are conducted entirely at your own risk. Any warranty provided in connection with any of these third party’s offerings or services will be solely provided through said third party, not through Femcanic Garage or Chasidy Rae Sisk Writing & Communications, LLC.

Chasidy’s unfiltered thoughts – A note: These are my gut reactions and the part of this collaboration that has given me the most hesitation. I rarely write in my voice – my projects require providing an objective viewpoint or assuming someone else’s voice, so I do my best to avoid interjecting myself into the story. That is not the case in Dirty Little Secrets… you’ll find glimpses of me throughout these blogs; however, these are overt interjections that are me at my rawest, most unfiltered and least PC. They are the thoughts you’d normally only be privy to if we were kicked back on my couch with a glass of wine in hand. So the professional in me apologizes, but the woman who believes in equality – well, she knows that my embarrassment is worthwhile if it makes just one person second-guess a previously unfair practice. Thank you for tolerating my snark.

Bonus Content

“At my interview as a painter, I was told “I just don’t think a body shop is a place for a woman; they’re better off in the office.” He didn’t hire me, but when he called me back a year later, I went – there weren’t many body shops hiring in my area. He hired me as a helper but wanted to move me to the office eventually. He was a good guy but sucked to work for. I didn’t get paid squat, and he always made me feel like trash if I messed anything up – I was expected to be like the guys with years and years of experience, even though I had only been doing it for a short time. I never regretted working there because I got a lot of good experience, and it made me appreciate my new shop that much more.”
“I have only good things to say about the older techs in the shop; I’ve always been treated equally and with respect, like everyone else. I’m always given opportunities to help out, and they’re always willing to teach me new things. I am so happy with my choice of working in the trade! The only negative things I’ve ever run into is with the guys around my age – there’s a lot of jealousy and just negativity when I succeed or get along with the older techs.”
“I used to work at a shop that was owned by a woman and then her son took over, and it was 100% supportive and treated men and women equally. I can’t say the same for the customers, but we always had ownership’s backing when we needed it. Now I work at a shop that is probably better than most, but there is definitely some subtle sexism, such as there only being a men’s bathroom in the shop, the guys referring to other men as “chicks” when they are being dramatic, and resistance to hiring females in the shop because they might not “fit in.”
I’ve received hundreds of supportive and encouraging comments. They tell me I’m making the difference, that I’m amazing at my job. When I was offered a position during a job interview, they told me, “Out of everyone here, your skills are beyond a value we can compensate you for, but we will try.”

Women’s Intuition (FAQs)

Guys, we know you have questions – cheers???? to that infamous female intuition! – so we’re going to take a stab at answering them here.

If the jobs are there, what’s stopping women from applying for them? 

That’s why we’re here – the dirtiest little secret of all. But it’s not really all that secret, is it? They are the buzzwords everywhere; they’re needed in every industry. Diversity. Equity. Inclusion. These are scary thoughts, but we promise to take it slow and break it down.

Diversity is just variety, and a little change never hurt anyone, right? Right. Equity means fair and impartial, easy enough. OK, and here’s the big one that we get stuck on. Inclusion is equal access to opportunities and resources. That’s it.

And let’s clear up one common misconception that’s pretty irking:

Including women doesn’t mean excluding men. The whole point of inclusion is INCLUDING EVERYONE, regardless of gender, race, religion, or anything else that is completely unrelated to someone’s ability to perform their job functions.

Well, my company has this covered – we hire women, and we treat our girls right! (+1 cool point if you recognize the subliminal sexism in this statement!)

You’re in the majority in that assumption. In fact, only 78% of men in the automotive industry believe that a lack of diversity, equity and inclusion “prevent people from considering a career in the automotive industry;” however, 64% of women disagree, making this the most common explanation they see for a lack of interest in automotive – more prohibitive than income, promotion opportunities, or any other dissuading factor (source).

But that’s just the perception, not the reality! She would tell me if…

If you’re still having doubts that you should be concerned about this issue, check out these stats:

When asked if they would stay in automotive if they were starting their career today, 45% of surveyed women said they would choose a different path (source). And unfortunately, she probably wouldn’t tell you if she’s uncomfortable or facing discrimination – although 90% of women indicate the industry’s bias towards men negatively impacts diversity (source), few women talk about the misogyny and sexism they’ve faced because they fear repercussions – demotions, unpleasant assignments or treatment, even job loss.

But if she talked, we’d listen. She just has to speak up!

Even speaking up can be an issue in the male-female dynamic. Women who express their discontent are generally dismissed, especially in situations when they are outnumbered by men.

Best case scenario: we’re accused of being emotional, bossy, too aggressive.

Worst case scenario: we are called a bitch, told to go bleed, even physically assaulted.

I’m feeling attacked here.

Welcome to our world! But seriously, buddy, we don’t think you’re a bad guy (????but if you ARE a misogynistic ass – fight me, my dude ????). Honestly, you’re probably a great friend, loving partner/parent, and maybe you even genuinely respect the women in your life. But you can’t know what you don’t know – you haven’t experienced the pains of being a woman any more than women have experienced the pain of being kicked in the ‘nads.

But seriously, aren’t things better?

Have we made progress on equality? Sure! Thankfully, things ARE better than they were 50 years ago, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago.

But does that mean the problem is gone? Not yet.

If you install one or two tires on a car, how far will it go? Not very – but luckily, the automotive and skilled labor trades industries are pretty accustomed to constant technological advances, so we believe that you can translate that same diligence to social advances!

Welcome to the adventure!